Nov 172011
 

Old buddy Chris here. In my continuing effort to enjoy my own little personal bye week, I asked our pal Hennessy if he had any ideas for yet another guest commentary. In return, he had a question for me. I didn’t have an answer and the result of my ignorance is now before your beady little eyes…

Your faithful football commentators Chris and Hennessy are both stumped on this question. What determines Which Team has a bye week When? Seriously, leave a comment and drop some knowledge if you know. Every year we can’t wait to find out who we are going to play, then we eagerly await learning when we will play them (date, time and whims of NBC execs pending), and then we tune into ESPN (Lord have mercy on our souls) for commentary on the other 31 teams.

So now we know the schedule, right?

We know when to adjust our Steeler-biased fantasy team, right?

But why this week!?! Why do I have to bench Rashard Mendenhall when he has finally learned what the white line in front of the end zone means? TWICE in the SAME game!!!!!

While planning my Steeler-less Sunday, I took a look at the bye schedule.

Week  1-4 : 0 of 32 teams (expectedly)  Nobody really needs to recover except Ben and Philly

Week  5-8 : 26 of 32 teams (including the reigning champs) And on the seventh week, Tim Tebow  rested

Week 9: Carolina, Detroit, Jacksonville, Minnesota (combined record of 22-42 last season)  Send all the bottom-feeders home the same week? Is this high school?

Week 10: ________________          Maybe Goodell had a vacation planned??

Week 11: Houston, Indianapolis, New Orleans, Pittsburgh  Really?

If the schedule of byes was set up to let the teams rest and heal, would:

  1. Q.  Every team be afforded the same week to rest in the season?  YES!
  2. Q.  The worst teams of the previous year be forced to rest at week 9?  NO!
  3. Q.  The promising up and comers, perennial contenders, recent champs with a media friendly story, and the most successful franchise in NFL history be shoved to the last bye week of the season?  THE GINGER DICTATOR SAYS YES!!! YES YES YES!!!

Let’s look at what this madness has wrought. The Texans lost Matt Schaub ONE WEEK before he had a chance to heal up. New Orleans proved they are capable of sustaining excellence as efficiently as their levies can hold up in a hurricane. Too soon? And Indy, well, they pulled off a Tomlin-esque misinformation campaign on the health of their only asset. Now the only race they’re resting up for is the “Suck For Luck” sweepstakes.

Then there are the Pittsburgh Steelers. Ginger and his schedule-making monkeys thought they could predict the future with the bye week scheduling but the only person benefiting is Big Ben and his broken thumb. Although, weird as it is to say, I’m actually excited to see the splint and glove that won us number five back on the same hand. Look up 2005, we celebrated.

Has anyone else heard, “Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Kansas City Chiefs is still scheduled for week twelve of Sunday Night Football?” I know I have. I hoped to be home in Pittsburgh for the holiday, to slaughter a turkey, and then watch my team slaughter a few Chiefs before heading back to Nashville. Silly me. I should have known better than leave my plans in the hands of the Ginger Dictator and his television dollar-feeding whores!!!

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.