Signs of the apocalypse… Seth MacFarlane, master of crotch and puke jokes, will be hosting the black tie Academy Awards. Lindsay Lohan is suing someone for hurting her. And the newest NFL head coach is Bruce Arians.
Indianapolis Colts head coach Chuck Pagano was diagnosed with leukemia during their bye week. Thankfully, the prognosis is positive and he’s expected to make a full recovery. That’s really good to hear and I, of course, wish him well. Pagano will be undergoing aggressive treatment over the next six weeks, leaving the Colts with no choice but appoint an interim head coach in his absence.
And that man is…
Not bad for a retiree, huh?
Naturally I’m referring to the ridiculous lie Mike Tomlin told the gullible local press when Arians was unceremoniously canned by Art Rooney II. Never bother to tell the truth, such as Arians was fired by a meddlesome know-nothing owner, when a lie will serve just as well. That should be the official motto of Tomlin’s dishonest regime. Unfortunately for them, Arians threw a wrench into their plans when he came out of “retirement” three weeks later to become the Colts’ offensive coordinator.
Arians will happily cede the position back to Pagano when he recovers from his illness. But if the Colts play well under his direction, it could open up the possibility of a head coaching job in Arians’ future. He wouldn’t be the first former Pittsburgh Steelers offensive coordinator to move to the top job. Over the years at least a half dozen former Black and Gold OC’s have gotten the call, including two current NFL head coaches, Chan Gailey and Ken Whisenhunt.
Whiz, it should be noted, is currently at the helm of one of the league’s three remaining unbeaten teams. He’s worked wonders with a Cardinals offense that doesn’t have a legit top-flight QB while former Steelers secondary coach Ray Horton has the Arizona Cardinals playing some of the best defense in football. The Steelers blow on D, the Arizona Cardinals have the Crimson Curtain. The end is truly nigh.
What’s truly ironic is Whisenhunt initially wanted Steelers linebackers coach Keith Butler but the Steelers refused to let Dick LeBeau‘s presumed heir apparent go. They seemingly had no problem with Horton heading out west and now it looks like they let one of the brightest young D-coordinators slip through their fingers.
Back to Arians, I’m glad he’ll get a chance at being a head coach, albeit under the worst of circumstances. I had issues with some of his offensive playcalling but when I saw idiot yinzers calling for new O-coordinator Todd Haley‘s head after the season-opening loss in Denver, I realized that their understanding of offense is limited to “Did we win?” Arians produced huge numbers here, including two 1,000 yard receivers, a 1,000 yard rusher and 4,000 yard passer for the first time in Steelers history.
His offense was so beloved by Ben Roethlisberger that he’s still running it. For those who didn’t hear, Big Ben let it slip in the aftermath of the Raiders loss that during the two minute drill, he scrapped the Todd Haley offense and went back to the Flying Circus playbook. Hoooboy. I wonder how many beer cans Boss Todd crushed against his head when he heard about that.
In any case, Ben was clearly a fan of Bruce Arians. And clearly the Colts are happy with him, as well. The Steelers offense has been mostly fine without him so I’m not saying we should regret letting him go. Although we may think differently when Haley grabs Ben’s jersey and reams him a new one for underthrowing a screen pass. The grass, as they say, is not always greener.
- Todd Haley = Sooper Genius
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