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Charlie Batch

Sound-Off: To Ben, Or Not To Ben?

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By Hennessy

Here we go again…

We are coming up on our annual trip to Rust City and the finale to the 2011 regular season.  A few weeks back, the Pittsburgh Steelers clinched at least a Wild Card spot when my local team, the Tennessee Titans, got an early start on their charity and goodwill in Indianapolis. Before taking the field that weekend, Pittsburgh ended up in the playoffs as no worse than the sixth seed in the AFC.

Cleveland, meanwhile, lost any chance at the playoffs when they put on orange helmets and called themselves the Browns back in 2002. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Cleveland’s primary goal every year seems to be to try and ruin our season. The last time they did so was in 2009 when they crushed our playoff hopes with a week 14 win at home. We made amends last year in week 17 but, dammit, why do they keep getting chances at the end of the season?
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Week 16 Recap: Merry Christmas, Charlie Batch!

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I hope everybody had a great Christmas.

The Pittsburgh Steelers surely did. First, the Black and Gold shut out the hapless St. Louis Rams 27-0. About a half an hour later, the New York Giants put the finishing touches on a crucial late-season victory over inter-city rival New York Jets. As satisfying as it is to watch that arrogant blowhard Rex Ryan stick his wife’s foot in his mouth, the G-Men did the Steelers a huge favor. With the Jets’ loss, the Cincinnati Bengals now control their own destiny. Win next week and they’re in the playoffs for only the third time in twenty-five years. And who might they be playing in the season finale?

The Baltimore Ravens.

Of course, everything would be moot if not for a fantastic workman-like effort by the Steelers. Granted the Rams were starting their third string quarterback and are utterly terrible on both sides of the ball but if we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s to never take any opponent lightly. The Steelers, playing with their own back-up quarterback protected by an offensive line in a total shambles, finally mounted a rushing attack that has been absent all year. Rashard Mendenhall had his best game in almost two seasons, piling up 116 yards on 18 carries. The Steelers’ running game was so effective, they dressed three running backs and all three scored a touchdown. Redzone Redman continued his fine season while rookie John Clay, activated from the practice squad due to injuries to Mewelde Moore and Jon Dwyer, gave us a glimpse of what we saw in the preseason, busting a beautiful 10 yard TD run on the first and only carry of his career.
Read More »Week 16 Recap: Merry Christmas, Charlie Batch!

Know Thy Enemy: St. Louis Rams

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If those guys came to my front door Christmas caroling, I’m not sure if I’d offer them egg nog or hand over my watch. What the hell? Anyway, the Pittsburgh Steelers released their annual video of players singing Christmas Carols and, as usual, they are absolutely must-see. There are four separate clips, each introduced by Mike Tomlin looking the most uncool he’s ever looked in his life. Each position grouping is charged with singing a different holiday classic and I guess the linebackers pictured above decided “Frosty The Snowman” needed more street cred. From left to right, the Gangsta Choir is composed of Chris Carter, James Harrison, Lawrence Timmons, James Farrior, Stevenson Sylvester, Morty Ivy and Larry Foote.

The best part is linebackers coach (and defensive coordinator in waiting) Keith Butler standing in the back looking like a festive Paul Ellering. If you get that reference, plus thirty cool points for you.

Before I get to Knowing this week’s opponent, the St. Louis Rams, a bit of blog housekeeping to clear up. For those out of the loop, the Ginger Dictator Grinch‘s heart must’ve grown three sizes one day because he has decreed this weekend’s games will be played on Saturday so the players can have Christmas off. As I’m off to sunny Tampa to spend the holidays with my folks as soon as I press “Post,” I won’t have the game recap up until Monday. I’m sure most of you have better things to do on Sunday than check in here, anyway. If you’re really desperate to hear my groan-worthy one-liners, you can always follow me on Twitter as I usually tweet during games. I will try to keep the blog up to date with pertinent news next week but my posting schedule may be a bit spotty so please bear with me.
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Steeler Nation Sound-Off: Proposition 7 – Increase Air Force Spending

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Your old pal Chris here. A couple weeks back, I ran a special Guest Blogger column by longtime reader Hennessy. His post generated the most comments in Total Steelers history clearly indicating yinz guys like him better than you like me. Since I’m still stunned and angry over the Baltimore game and, left to my own devices, I’d write five posts ranting about the various travesties that happened on Sunday, I figured it might be nice to bring in a relief pitcher to change things up a bit. Take it away, Hennessy…

The Pittsburgh Steelers have drafted five quarterbacks since 2000, all of them in the fifth round, except, of course, Ben Roethlisberger. The brightest star in that group was Ex-Tennessee Volunteer Tee Martin, mostly because he had a pretty cool name which sounded particularly good in Pittsburghese. As we learned (the hard way) last Sunday, not to mention with the parade of human traffic cones who man the offensive line every season, we’ve clearly had greater areas of need in recent drafts. But this season and the success of Young Money have me hoping there is a plan to develop a game-ready mentor to Ben in the coming years.

I never thought I would find myself in this position, but Bruce Arians has made me a fan of the pass-first offense. That’s not to say I don’t shudder every time I hear someone saying we are getting away from “Steeler Football” (because we are, and yinzers don’t take well to change with the Stillers). There might not be anything more fun to watch than the pounding football of old, but the way Ben snaps, scrambles and throws has been pretty entertaining. And whadda ya know, he’s winning a lot of damn football games doing it.
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Colts Fans Dropping The F-Bomb

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Some people never miss an episode of Ice Road Truckers. Others can’t get enough reruns of 2½ Men.  By the way, sorry Ashton Kutcher, you’re good but you’re still no Charlie Sheen.  Me?  I never miss a [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] press conference. Oh, I don’t watch because I’m interested in his injury reports (he constantly lies about those) or his strategy for the Pittsburgh Steelers upcoming opponents (ditto).

I simply watch for the hilarity. From his grand pronouncements (“Unleash Hell!) to his ridiculous Tomlinisms (“The standard is the standard.”) to his bizarre non-sequitors (“We were grape squashers.”), no coach is as thoroughly entertaining as Mike Tomlin. I wish the Steelers sold tickets to his pressers because at least you can be assured of a solid 15-20 minutes of set-ups and punchlines. That’s certainly more than you can say about a Dane Cook concert.
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Mike Tomlin Is Wise, Grasshopper

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Remember back during the lockout when [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] had this crazy idea for an 18 game season?  Remember how the Ginger Dictator justified this little slice of insanity by saying, “The fans have told me they hate meaningless football games?” Remember when it was revealed that the scheme would essentially cut the preseason in half with the final two exhibitions becoming regular season contests?  Remember how this idea was met with howls of protest from coaches who said, “I absolutely need four games to determine my rosters and prepare for the season?”

Tonight the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] have their yearly preseason meeting with the Carolina Panthers. In this fourth and final preseason game, which is absolutely crucial remember, head coach [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] has already announced Ben Roethlisberger, Ike Taylor, Jerricho Cotchery, Troy Polamalu, James Farrior, Casey Hampton,  Maurkice Pouncey and Bryant McFadden won’t be playing.  But, hey, you’ll get a full half of [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]Charlie Batch[/intlink]!  ALL CHAZZ, ALL THE TIME!  IT’S LIKE HITTING THE LOTTO AND SCORING WITH ROONEY MARA IN THE SAME DAY!
Read More »Mike Tomlin Is Wise, Grasshopper