Week 13 Recap: Once A Bungle, Always A Bungle

 Posted by at 5:45 am  Antonio Brown, Circle of Hate, Hines Ward, James Harrison, Rashard Mendenhall, Recaps, Redzone Redman  Comments Off on Week 13 Recap: Once A Bungle, Always A Bungle
Dec 052011
 

Early in the fourth quarter of yesterday’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals, CBS came back from a break with the sound of “Renegade” clearly audible in the background. I love the Steelers unofficial fight song but pulling out the rally hair metal when the Black and Gold are putting the finishing touches on 35-7 ass-whuppin’ is a bit unnecessary. Like when dickish college coaches dial up a 45 yard bomb already up four touchdowns on a Division I-AA opponent. Or when an NFL team gives their asshat head coach a Gatorade bath for winning a regular season game.

To paraphrase the late great Myron Cope, “Renegade,” like the power of the Terrible Towel, should be saved for when we really need it.

I won’t lie, I thought we were in for a loooong afternoon after the Steelers began yesterday’s game with a three and out in which Mike Wallace dropped a 20 yard pass that hit him in the hands. Andy Dalton responded by hooking up with AJ Green for 43 yards a few plays later. Normally dependable Ike Taylor had a rough time keeping up with Green all afternoon, although did have his second pick of the season later on. The Bengals had a first and goal at the Steelers 8 before you could say, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

Then the Bungles we all know and love made an appearance.

On third and goal, a touchdown to Jermaine Gresham was wiped out on a false start by Green. Karma, I suppose, for the touchdown the Steelers got taken off the board by a holding penalty in the first game. Cincy lined up for a glorified extra point but were late snapping the ball so Mike Nugent’s field goal didn’t count. On his second attempt, Cameron Heyward blew through the line and Nugent’s kick ricocheted off his big paw. Three golden scoring chances wasted.
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Nov 232011
 

The good news is my computer finally seems to be up and running so I shouldn’t be MIA again this season. The bad news (well, it’s good for me) is I booked a last minute flight to Tampa so I could spend Turkey Day with my parents. Oh, I could stay here in Pittsburgh but between me and the couple thousand of you who read this blog faithfully every day, my aunt is a really lousy cook. A few Thanksgivings ago, she actually cooked the turkey with the giblets still inside.

Anyway, since I have to pack quickly so I can hurry up and wait (and wait and wait) in what promises to be an epic line at the airport, today’s update will have to be a quickie. Without further ado, here are ten Pittsburgh Steelers related-reasons I’m thankful this Thanksgiving.
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Terrell Suggs Talks Sh*t, Calls Out Hines Ward

 Posted by at 3:35 am  Circle of Hate, Hines Ward, Mike Tomlin  Comments Off on Terrell Suggs Talks Sh*t, Calls Out Hines Ward
Nov 032011
 

I hate Terrell Suggs. I hate him because he’s the perfect embodiment of everything wrong with the Baltimore Ravens. He plays dirty, beats up women and cries when they lose. During the pre-season, he refused to utter the words “Pittsburgh Steelers” in a childish act of defiance after getting owned in the playoffs yet again. He’s cocky, arrogant, and walks around with a self-important swagger despite having never won a damn thing.

I also hate him because he absolutely tortures Steelers.

Granted, our offensive line has made mediocre players look like world-beaters on more than one occasion. However, Suggs has taken it to whole other level. It doesn’t matter who lines up at tackle, it doesn’t matter if they keep a back in to block, T-Sizzle always finds a way to wreak havoc. Loudmouths like Ed Reed and Stabby McStabberson routinely write checks their ass can’t cash. Suggs talks a big game then goes out and plays even bigger.
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Week 5 Recap: In Max We Trust

 Posted by at 3:39 am  Big Ben, Flying Circus, Hines Ward, LaMarr Woodley, Recaps, Redzone Redman, Ziggy Hood  Comments Off on Week 5 Recap: In Max We Trust
Oct 102011
 

Go figure.

Almost half their starting defense out. Top two running backs injured and a starting quarterback who’s a walking limping human bruise. A never-ending revolving door along the offensive line now featuring a starting left tackle that allegedly suffered a career-ending injury last year and was only re-signed on Tuesday. Facing off against a 3-1 team with the sixth ranked defense and one of the top five running backs in the NFL.

And what happens?

The [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] completely obliterate the Tennessee Titans 38-17. Unlike previous weeks, the final score is precisely indicative of how the game actually went. To say this was the Black and Gold’s finest performance of 2011 would be a colossal understatement. To say they finally looked like the team that went to last year’s Super Bowl would be far more accurate.
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Sep 292011
 

I’ll say this for Kym Johnson, her football analysis is only slightly less insightful than Erin Andrews’. And she has a much nicer ass.

A couple days ago, I wrote this post explaining why I think Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and reigning Dancing With The Stars champion [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] may be nearing the end of his career. I detailed his rapidly declining numbers and I laid out what we might expect out of him in the future. Guess I was wrong. Some saucy Australian crumpet with access to the coach’s game tape has broken down the footage like a D-cup Ron Jaworski and determined Hines was open all over the field on Sunday.

My bad.

To add insult to injury, Ms. Johnson then went on to accuse [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] of purposely not throwing Hines the ball. “Douchebag,” she called him. What is it with Ben and women? A crazy broad in a cowboy hat comes into his room to fix his tv, rides him like bronco, then accuses him of assault. A drunk sorority skank blows him in a dingy bathroom then goes running to Barney Fife in order to salvage what is left of their reputation. And now some women he’s never met is calling him a douchebag because her dancing partner is too old and slow to get open.

She’s a professional dancer, right? Shouldn’t she know it takes two to tango?

The Last Tango In Pittsburgh

 Posted by at 5:19 am  Hines Ward, Mike Wallace, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on The Last Tango In Pittsburgh
Sep 272011
 

I wonder if [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] introduced Kym Johnson to the many wonderful uses of butter…

*Ahem* In my recap of the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] uninspiring victory over the Indianapolis Colts, I made a comment about [intlink id=”81″ type=”category”]Antonio Brown[/intlink] being the team’s second best receiver. Since nothing can be done about the secondary or offensive line (at least until Kevin Colbert decides to pick up the phone and call either Flozell Adams or Max Starks), I figured that was an idea worth revisiting. And it does tie in to what we saw on Sunday. Trust me, oh ye of little faith.

Obviously the implication of my statement is perennial All-Pro and future Hall of Famer Hines Ward is no longer one of the team’s top two wide outs. Last season, he had the fewest catches and the fewest yards since 2000 (his first year as a starter). Thus far in 2011, he’s on track to post even lower totals. As we near the quarter mark of the season, Hines has caught only 12 balls for a minuscule 117 yards. Project that out and you’re looking at your #2 receiver catching about 45 passes for about 500 yards.
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Hate Is Strong Between Ravens And Steelers

 Posted by at 12:31 pm  Big Ben, Casey Hampton, Hines Ward, LaMarr Woodley, Ratbirds  Comments Off on Hate Is Strong Between Ravens And Steelers
Sep 072011
 

Perhaps no football cliche is overused more than than the dreaded “Bulletin board material.” The term amuses me for several reasons.   First, there is nothing more boring than the canned responses the traditional media frequently receives from athletes.  When a player finally steps outside that comfort zone and says something like “I think we’re gonna win,” the reporters gasp at their audaciousness.  Then the next day, we see any number of talking heads rant excitedly about said player providing “Bulletin board material” to his opponents.

Which is why the Pittsburgh Steelers rivalry with the [intlink id=”141″ type=”category”]Baltimore Ravens[/intlink] is so refreshing.  The teams hate each other and they aren’t shy about it.  Terrell Suggs famously showed up to training camp wearing a shirt which proclaimed his hatred of the Steelers. Ray Lewis crowed about the “bounties” collected for taking out certain Steelers, most notably [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink].  More recently, the teams spent the entire off-season sniping at each other in 140 characters or less on Twitter, culminating in [intlink id=”60″ type=”category”]Ryan Clark[/intlink] stating the rivalry “isn’t really a rivalry” until the Ravens actually win a game.  An infuriated Baltimore coach Jim Harbaugh angrily responded, “I don’t care what Ryan Clark says about anything.”
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Ginger Dictator Strikes Again

 Posted by at 5:35 am  Ginger Dictator, Hines Ward, James Harrison, Legal Trouble  Comments Off on Ginger Dictator Strikes Again
Aug 302011
 

Kenny Britt fought the law and Kenny won.

This little nugget almost slipped by me over the weekend.  NFL Commissioner [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] announced that players who ran afoul of the law during the lockout will not face disciplinary action for their offenses.  NFLPA executive member Charlie Batch was pleased with by this outcome.  “”How can he?” Batch said. “You locked us out. How can you enforce your personal conduct policy?”

Indeed, Chaz.  How can the Ginger Dictator suspend somebody for something they did while not technically subject to his rules?

Ask Terrelle Pryor.
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Wrenches Thrown Into Steelers’ Plan

 Posted by at 1:21 pm  Charlie Batch, Hines Ward, Offensive Line, Preseason, Secondary, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on Wrenches Thrown Into Steelers’ Plan
Aug 192011
 

Best.  Twitter.  Avatar.  Ever.

Sorry for being tardy with this update but since the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers [/intlink]mauling of the Dream Team aka Philadelphia Eagles was nationally broadcast last night, I figured it better to do a more news-specific update than a recap of the game.  Speaking of Twitter, twittering during preseason games makes them much more tolerable (and if you’re not following my twitter, well, my legs aren’t as nice as Kym’s but I know a lot more about football).  Especially when you’re forced to listen to the unholy combination of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.  Adding the greatest Steeler QB of all-time, Terry Bradshaw, to the mix did help a little if only because it’s amusing how discombobulated TB makes Aikman.

Oh and that horrifying NFL on Fox commercial featuring all the announcers in their underwear?   Had to be Joe Buck’s idea.
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Remember Limas Sweed?

 Posted by at 7:43 am  Hines Ward, Mike Wallace, Preseason, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on Remember Limas Sweed?
Aug 092011
 

 

A month ago, the Pittsburgh Steelers probably thought the team was pretty much set at wide receiver.  Now it seems like there are nothing but question marks everywhere you look.  [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] has finally fox-trotted back to practice but he’s coming off his worst season since his rookie year.  And who knows how much gas learning the jitterbug took out of his tank. [intlink id=”81″ type=”category”] Emmanuel Sanders[/intlink] is still hobbling around after having both his feet operated on.  Antonio Brown made some big catches in the playoffs but caught only 18 balls during the regular season.

Who will step up if one or more of those players falter?  Who will be the unexpected hero?

[intlink id=”81″ type=”category”]Remember Limas Sweed?[/intlink]
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