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Maurkice Pouncey

Know Thy Enemy: Denver Broncos

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Much digital ink has been spilled this week previewing the Wild Card match-up between the Denver Broncos and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Most of the attention has centered around the two quarterbacks who’ll face off on Sunday. Will Ben Roethlisberger‘s messed up ankle be feeling better by game time? And how is Tim Tebow going to fare in his first career playoff game?

Before we worry about all that, let’s look at the big picture. The bookies have the Steelers listed as an eight point favorite and most media types are penciling this in as a victory for the Black and Gold. Even members of Steeler Nation, a notoriously pessimistic bunch, seem confident of a happy outcome. And it’s understandable, what with Denver losing three straight to end the season and backdooring into the post-season.

Not to throw a wet blanket Terrible Towel on all the optimism but keep this in mind. Since 2000, five teams with records of .500 or worse have made the playoffs. Four of the five won at least one playoff game. Most recently was last year’s Seattle Seahawks, who became the first team in NFL history to win a division with a losing record (7-9). I think we all remember Marshawn Lynch going all BEAST MODE on the 11-5 New Orleans Saints to seal their Wild Card victory.

On any given Sunday…
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Know Thy Enemy: Cleveland Browns

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 In Order To See Awesome Video, The Jagoffs Make You Like Their Facebook Page

Ah, the beauty of the NFL. For all the criticism I level at the game, there’s nothing like the mad playoff scramble which occurs each and every season. As we approach the final week of the 2011 season, the AFC Playoff scenarios have been repeated ad nauseam. The Cincinnati Bengals host the Baltimore Ravens with a playoff spot on the line. If Cincy wins, they’re in.

Then the fun starts. An first round bye? Check. The top seed in the AFC if the Patriots, who will probably pull Tom Terrific rather quickly since he’s nursing a separated non-throwing shoulder, lose to the Bills?  Check.

Of course, the party ends rather quickly if the Pittsburgh Steelers don’t first take care of their business against the Cleveland Browns. The Browns stink. Nothing really more needs be said. But, as Hennessy astutely pointed out yesterday, they seemingly live to be a thorn in the Steelers’ side. Against 30 other teams, they are who we thought they are. Against the Black and Gold, they’re the second coming of the ’86 Bears.

So it’s understandable Mike Tomlin wants all hands on deck this Sunday. Giving credit where credit is due, the Browns don’t lie down for anybody. Unlike the gutless Colts, who decided to wait until week 15 to actually show up, or the hapless St. Louis Rams, who packed it in after missing a chip shot field goal last week, the Browns have been playing hard every week. That doesn’t mean they’re any better than those two teams, it just means you can’t score a touchdown on your opening drive and then assume they’ll wave a white flag.
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Know Thy Enemy: San Francisco 49ers

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The NFL is weird. When schedules are announced over the summer, every fan looks at their team’s slate and begins to mentally check off wins and losses. Of course, it NEVER plays out as we expect. The baseball season lasts like six months, the hockey and basketball seasons last nearly as long. Football season is the shortest of the four major sports but so many twists and turns occur over sixteen games that it feels a lot longer.

When the Pittsburgh Steelers were scheduled to face the San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football back in August, I’m sure most members of Steeler Nation had that penciled in as an easy W. The Niners were a miserable 6-10 last year and starting a new regime under college coaching wunderkind Jim Harbaugh. The lockout prevented them from bringing in a new quarterback so they were stuck with former first overall pick Alex Smith, who looked like an epic bust. Even if the trip out to the West Coast has historically been tough, this was still a game the Steelers should win.

Fast forward four months later. The Niners are one of the surprise teams of the year, having already clinched their first NFC West title in over a decade. Harbaugh is probably going to be coach of the year. Meanwhile, the Steelers are facing them at the worst possible time. Their superstar quarterback just suffered a horrific ankle injury while their superstar linebacker is suspended for one game. Mix in the fact both teams are in a playoff scramble for seeding position and you have a recipe for disaster.
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Know Thy Enemy: Arizona Cardinals

This Sunday it will be deja vu all over again when the [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] face off against the Arizona Cardinals. The Cards are still led by our ex-offensive coordinator, Ken Whisenhunt, and boast a roster filled with refugees from the Black and Gold. Whiz must really admire his old franchise (and why shouldn’t he?) what with his almost comical fetish for adding ex-Steelers to his team. When the Steelers step inside the Big Toaster on Sunday, they’ll see no fewer than four ex-teammates across the sidelines with two more members of the roster having played their college ball at Pitt.

Pittsburgh and their slacker younger brother have faced each other twice since that fateful off-season of 2007 when [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] left to exchange phony laughs with James Brown and pretend to understand the words coming out of Shannon Sharpe’s mush-mouth. Whiz, the obvious heir apparent (he even has his own mini-Chin!), was surprisingly eliminated early in the process, leading him to bolt for the head job in Arizona. After the media erroneously reported longtime offensive line coach Russ Grimm had won the job, the Steelers announced they were going with a relatively unknown defensive coordinator from Minnesota named [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink]. That year, the two teams met during the regular season with the Cardinals scoring an emotional victory in a game their spurned head coach badly wanted to win.

Of course, the next time the two teams met, the Steelers would walk away with a victory in Super Bowl XLIII. He who laughs last, laughs best and all that.
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Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

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Alright, who didn’t bring their rabbit’s foot?

Before the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] kicked off their third preseason game Saturday night, I threw up a quick note beseeching those making the trek to Heinz Field to bring whatever good luck charms they may hold dear.  I knew the starters were going to see significant playing time.  And I knew that the last thing we needed was one of those starters to get injured in a meaningless exhibition game.  When the game ended with not one, not two, but three significant injuries to key personnel, I knew somebody didn’t listen.

The ugliest injury belonged to back-up quarterback Byron Leftwich, who broke his left arm bracing his fall early in the second half.  The camera didn’t cut directly to [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink] so we can only speculate whether he was sticking pins into his Leftwich voodoo doll at that exact moment.  Seriously, how much luck can one man have?  Dix must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass.
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