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PlaxWatch: Burress Decides To Jet

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Plaxico Burress decided to return to the city where he experienced his greatest success.  Of course, it’s also the city where he almost blew his dick off at a nightclub, then spent two years in the clink as penance for his abject stupidity.  As the New York Jets discovered, three million dollars goes a long way toward erasing bad memories.

With one stroke of the pen, Plax went from the chain gang to Gang Green.  You gotta hand it to Rex Ryan.  He assembled one of the NFL’s finest collections of thugs and criminals over in Baltimore and is now doing his damnedest to remake his Jets in their image.  Burress will team with another Steeler cast-off, Santonio Holmes, in trying to make Mark Sanchez look like a legitimate championship caliber quarterback.
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PlaxWatch: Burress Breaks Bread With Tomlin

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The Pittsburgh Steelers wooing of free agent ex-con Plaxico Burress kicked in to high gear earlier today.  Evidently, he’s a really cheap date.  First, Burress joined Mike Tomlin, Kevin Colbert, and Art Rooney for breakfast at the Saint Vincent College cafeteria.  I bet they don’t even serve Mimosas.

A short time later, he joined Ben Roethlisberger, James Farrior and Hines Ward at the cool kids table for the team’s afternoon lunch.  No doubt Big Ben repeated his oft-stated desire to have a big target for the passing game while Limas Sweed rocked back and forth weeping softly in the corner.
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