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Ginger Dictator

Giving Thanks To The Black And Gold

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The good news is my computer finally seems to be up and running so I shouldn’t be MIA again this season. The bad news (well, it’s good for me) is I booked a last minute flight to Tampa so I could spend Turkey Day with my parents. Oh, I could stay here in Pittsburgh but between me and the couple thousand of you who read this blog faithfully every day, my aunt is a really lousy cook. A few Thanksgivings ago, she actually cooked the turkey with the giblets still inside.

Anyway, since I have to pack quickly so I can hurry up and wait (and wait and wait) in what promises to be an epic line at the airport, today’s update will have to be a quickie. Without further ado, here are ten Pittsburgh Steelers related-reasons I’m thankful this Thanksgiving.
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Steeler Nation Sound-Off: Bye Bye Week

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Old buddy Chris here. In my continuing effort to enjoy my own little personal bye week, I asked our pal Hennessy if he had any ideas for yet another guest commentary. In return, he had a question for me. I didn’t have an answer and the result of my ignorance is now before your beady little eyes…

Your faithful football commentators Chris and Hennessy are both stumped on this question. What determines Which Team has a bye week When? Seriously, leave a comment and drop some knowledge if you know. Every year we can’t wait to find out who we are going to play, then we eagerly await learning when we will play them (date, time and whims of NBC execs pending), and then we tune into ESPN (Lord have mercy on our souls) for commentary on the other 31 teams.

So now we know the schedule, right?

We know when to adjust our Steeler-biased fantasy team, right?

But why this week!?! Why do I have to bench Rashard Mendenhall when he has finally learned what the white line in front of the end zone means? TWICE in the SAME game!!!!!
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Cryin’ Ryan Clark Goes Off On The Ginger Dictator

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There were a number of ridiculous calls in last Sunday’s game between the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers. The most inexplicable series of events involved Ryan Clark and Ray Lewis. Clark was flagged for “hitting a defenseless receiver” when he popped tight end Ed Dickson going down the middle of the field. You can watch the hit in question by clicking here. Meanwhile, Stabby knocked Hines Ward out of the game with a vicious blow to the head (if you watch a replay, it looked more like a forearm than helmet-to-helmet). No flag was thrown.

Naturally, Roger Goodell seized on these events to partake in his favorite hobby, fining players. And, as usual, the Steelers ended up with a losing spin of his Wheel O’ Justice. Lewis was fined $20,000 for knocking Hines out of the game. Clark was fined $40,000 for brushing up against Dickson in an aggressive fashion.

And he’s not happy about it.
Read More »Cryin’ Ryan Clark Goes Off On The Ginger Dictator

Roger Goodell Doesn’t Care About Family

Congratulations go out to Commissioner Roger Goodell. His goal has finally been achieved. He has successfully pussified the National Football League.

I tuned in to the Four Letter hoping to hear Trent Dilfer announce he was coming out of retirement to play for the Baltimore Ravens. He certainly couldn’t do any worse than last night’s performance by Joe Flacco. But rather than glorious analysis highlighting every one of the Ratbirds many flaws, I instead had to listen to the talking heads go on and on about the catfight between the Detroit Lions’ Ndamukong Suh and several members of the Atlanta Falcons. For those lucky smart enough to avoid the mind-numbing prattle, the story goes after quarterback Matt Ryan was hurt on a play late in Sunday’s game, Suh and teammate Cliff Avril stood there taunting him about the injury.

OH NOES! THE HORROR!
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Know Thy Enemy: Arizona Cardinals

This Sunday it will be deja vu all over again when the [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] face off against the Arizona Cardinals. The Cards are still led by our ex-offensive coordinator, Ken Whisenhunt, and boast a roster filled with refugees from the Black and Gold. Whiz must really admire his old franchise (and why shouldn’t he?) what with his almost comical fetish for adding ex-Steelers to his team. When the Steelers step inside the Big Toaster on Sunday, they’ll see no fewer than four ex-teammates across the sidelines with two more members of the roster having played their college ball at Pitt.

Pittsburgh and their slacker younger brother have faced each other twice since that fateful off-season of 2007 when [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] left to exchange phony laughs with James Brown and pretend to understand the words coming out of Shannon Sharpe’s mush-mouth. Whiz, the obvious heir apparent (he even has his own mini-Chin!), was surprisingly eliminated early in the process, leading him to bolt for the head job in Arizona. After the media erroneously reported longtime offensive line coach Russ Grimm had won the job, the Steelers announced they were going with a relatively unknown defensive coordinator from Minnesota named [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink]. That year, the two teams met during the regular season with the Cardinals scoring an emotional victory in a game their spurned head coach badly wanted to win.

Of course, the next time the two teams met, the Steelers would walk away with a victory in Super Bowl XLIII. He who laughs last, laughs best and all that.
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Mike Tomlin Free To Whoop Some Ass

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The big news from NFL week six involved the altercation between head coaches Jim Schwartz of the Detroit Lions and and Jim Harbaugh of the  San Francisco 49ers. Yesterday evening, the league announced [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] will not fine either coach for their behavior. As shocking as it may be that the Ginger Dictator failed to partake in his favorite pastime, I’m not really surprised. For one, no [intlink id=”68″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] were involved. For another, it wasn’t much of a fight. I’ve seen drunken hootchies over in Oakland throw down harder than those two putzes.

Not that I blame Schwartz for flipping out. Harbaugh was yanking up his shirt and belly bumping his players like he had just won the Little League World Series. He then evidently told Schwartz to “get the F out of my way” when they met at mid-field. The best part was after Schwartz went after him in aggressive fashion, Harbaugh ran like a scalded dog only to turn around and act like he wanted to fight after six or seven people where there to keep them apart.  As we’ve seen with the assclown in Baltimore, those Harbaugh brothers are pure class.
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Greg Lloyd Hates Roger Goodell Too

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And you thought [intlink id=”52″ type=”category”]James Harrison[/intlink] didn’t like [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink]…

Welcome to F-bomb week here at Total Steelers. The video above comes from the aftermath of the AFC Championship game where the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Indianapolis Colts (and future 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh) to punch a ticket to their first Super Bowl in fifteen years. Yes, that’s [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] you see at the beginning of the clip.  It saddens me when shortsighted Steeler fans try to argue how Mike Tomlin is such a better coach than the Chin “because he’s won two AFC Championship games” as if the two Cowher won (in addition to appearing in four others) somehow don’t count. When Tomlin wins one with a quarterback comparable to Neil Freakin’ O’Donnell, then we’ll talk.

Greg Lloyd was a bad bad man. As the Steel Dynasty of the 70s slowly faded away, the Black and Gold maintained their tradition of superior linebacking into the 80s, most notably Mike Merriwether and David Little. But it wasn’t until Lloyd became a permanent member of the starting line-up in 1989 (not coincidentally, Chuck Noll’s final playoff team) that the Steelers D regained the ferocious reputation the Steel Curtain had originated a decade prior. Harbaugh famously told an interviewer he wasn’t afraid of anything until he played against Greg Lloyd.
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Is The Fix In Against The Steelers On Sunday?

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Does [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] have any clue?  Or does his never-ending quest to screw over the [intlink id=”149″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] trump even the commonest of sense?

This Sunday the Black and Gold face the Seattle Seahawks at Heinz Field.  The official assigned to referree the game is one Bill Leavy.  Yes, the same Bill Leavy who did a perfectly fine job officiating Super Bowl XL betwixt these same two teams. And the same Bill Leavy who last year decided to unburden his tortured soul by apologizing to the Seahawks for doing his job to the best of his abilities in that game.

Quoth the zebra:

It was a tough thing for me. I kicked two calls in the fourth quarter and I impacted the game, and as an official you never want to do that,” said the veteran of 15 NFL seasons and two Super Bowls.

Bill Leavy is clearly a tortured soul.  He “punted” two calls in the Super Bowl! How could he live with himself if he didn’t confess his sins to a bunch of players who weren’t even on that team? And why is the Ginger Dictator so cruel as to make this man relive the worst day of his life?  Does he want a tragedy on his hands?

I hope the NFL has at least been kind enough to book rooms for Leavy and crew on the ground floor of the Pittsburgh Marriott.  Better safe than sorry.
Read More »Is The Fix In Against The Steelers On Sunday?

Mike Tomlin Is Wise, Grasshopper

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Remember back during the lockout when [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] had this crazy idea for an 18 game season?  Remember how the Ginger Dictator justified this little slice of insanity by saying, “The fans have told me they hate meaningless football games?” Remember when it was revealed that the scheme would essentially cut the preseason in half with the final two exhibitions becoming regular season contests?  Remember how this idea was met with howls of protest from coaches who said, “I absolutely need four games to determine my rosters and prepare for the season?”

Tonight the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] have their yearly preseason meeting with the Carolina Panthers. In this fourth and final preseason game, which is absolutely crucial remember, head coach [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] has already announced Ben Roethlisberger, Ike Taylor, Jerricho Cotchery, Troy Polamalu, James Farrior, Casey Hampton,  Maurkice Pouncey and Bryant McFadden won’t be playing.  But, hey, you’ll get a full half of [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]Charlie Batch[/intlink]!  ALL CHAZZ, ALL THE TIME!  IT’S LIKE HITTING THE LOTTO AND SCORING WITH ROONEY MARA IN THE SAME DAY!
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Ginger Dictator Strikes Again

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Kenny Britt fought the law and Kenny won.

This little nugget almost slipped by me over the weekend.  NFL Commissioner [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] announced that players who ran afoul of the law during the lockout will not face disciplinary action for their offenses.  NFLPA executive member Charlie Batch was pleased with by this outcome.  “”How can he?” Batch said. “You locked us out. How can you enforce your personal conduct policy?”

Indeed, Chaz.  How can the Ginger Dictator suspend somebody for something they did while not technically subject to his rules?

Ask Terrelle Pryor.
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