Ingrid Ullrich Knows How To Represent Steeler Nation [Photos]

 Posted by at 8:00 am  Hot Steeler Chicks  Comments Off on Ingrid Ullrich Knows How To Represent Steeler Nation [Photos]
Oct 012011

Take notes, Kym Johnson.

Welcome to gossip week here at Total Steelers! Yesterday, I wrote about [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink]’s Dancing With The Stars partner Kym Johnson launching an angry diatribe against [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink]. While I appreciate Ms. Johnson representing Steeler Nation in the all important Bubble-headed Bleach Blond demographic, that is no way for a fan to talk about the best quarterback in Pittsburgh Steelers history. You three readers who log in from Down Under should be ashamed of your fellow Aussie.

For an example of how a true Steeler fan behaves, let’s take a look at Ingrid Ullrich. Ingrid is a professional dancer and I’m not talking about the kind with a pole. She graduated Point Park University with a degree in dance and has been performing on cruise ships. In addition, she has a burgeoning modeling career which is about to get catapulted into the stratosphere thanks to her new show on Bravo.

What makes Ingrid an ideal representative for our Nation aren’t her steely blue eyes. Or her toned abs. Or the work she’s done at tight end. No, it’s the fact she’s a lady.

Ingrid was once propositioned by a member of the Steelers at a local bar. In this interview, she talks about the incident, which she says came to a screeching halt when she noticed the player had a baby car seat in the back of his car. Note she doesn’t mention the player by name. That she wouldn’t bang a married dude shows she has class, that she wouldn’t throw him under the bus shows she’s a true Steelers fan.

Enough jibber jabber.  Here are more pics of Ingrid.  Go Steelers.

Sep 292011

I’ll say this for Kym Johnson, her football analysis is only slightly less insightful than Erin Andrews’. And she has a much nicer ass.

A couple days ago, I wrote this post explaining why I think Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and reigning Dancing With The Stars champion [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] may be nearing the end of his career. I detailed his rapidly declining numbers and I laid out what we might expect out of him in the future. Guess I was wrong. Some saucy Australian crumpet with access to the coach’s game tape has broken down the footage like a D-cup Ron Jaworski and determined Hines was open all over the field on Sunday.

My bad.

To add insult to injury, Ms. Johnson then went on to accuse [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] of purposely not throwing Hines the ball. “Douchebag,” she called him. What is it with Ben and women? A crazy broad in a cowboy hat comes into his room to fix his tv, rides him like bronco, then accuses him of assault. A drunk sorority skank blows him in a dingy bathroom then goes running to Barney Fife in order to salvage what is left of their reputation. And now some women he’s never met is calling him a douchebag because her dancing partner is too old and slow to get open.

She’s a professional dancer, right? Shouldn’t she know it takes two to tango?

The Last Tango In Pittsburgh

 Posted by at 5:19 am  Hines Ward, Mike Wallace, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on The Last Tango In Pittsburgh
Sep 272011

I wonder if [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] introduced Kym Johnson to the many wonderful uses of butter…

*Ahem* In my recap of the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] uninspiring victory over the Indianapolis Colts, I made a comment about [intlink id=”81″ type=”category”]Antonio Brown[/intlink] being the team’s second best receiver. Since nothing can be done about the secondary or offensive line (at least until Kevin Colbert decides to pick up the phone and call either Flozell Adams or Max Starks), I figured that was an idea worth revisiting. And it does tie in to what we saw on Sunday. Trust me, oh ye of little faith.

Obviously the implication of my statement is perennial All-Pro and future Hall of Famer Hines Ward is no longer one of the team’s top two wide outs. Last season, he had the fewest catches and the fewest yards since 2000 (his first year as a starter). Thus far in 2011, he’s on track to post even lower totals. As we near the quarter mark of the season, Hines has caught only 12 balls for a minuscule 117 yards. Project that out and you’re looking at your #2 receiver catching about 45 passes for about 500 yards.
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Ward Placed On Physically Unable To Tango List

 Posted by at 2:10 am  Hines Ward, Training Camp  Comments Off on Ward Placed On Physically Unable To Tango List
Jul 292011

As players began their annual pilgrimage to Latrobe for training camp, the Pittsburgh Steelers made a few interesting announcements which may hold great importance as we watch the 2011 season unfold.

First, they agreed to terms with draft picks OT Marcus Gilbert, CB Cortez Allen, LB Chris Carter, OG Keith Williams and RB Baron Batch.  This leaves only third round pick CB Curtis Brown and first rounder DT Cameron “IronHead Jr.” Heyward unsigned.  With Gay and Anthony Madison unrestricted free agents and absolutely no proof Keenan Lewis deserves a hat on Sunday, Brown is a complete idiot if he doesn’t sign soon.  Rookies practically never play for this team but the nickel back job would seem to be wide open.

They also placed two players on the Physically Unable to Perform list.  Chris Kemoeatu is experiencing some pain and swelling in his knee which is understandable considering he didn’t have OTAs keeping him away from the buffet table.  The other player on the list is [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward.[/intlink]
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