The enduring image from Sunday’s game between the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers will be Charlie Batch blubbering like a teenage girl at the end of Twilight: Breaking Dawn. I focused on that in my recap because that’s all I want to remember from that game. However, something else happened which has been getting a lot of play on local airwaves and across the interweb. Evidently the bitter rivalry between the Steelers and Ravens has filtered down to their respective head coaches as evidenced by the awkward post-game handshake between Mike Tomlin and John Harbaugh.
Since that video surfaced, yinzers have been in full throat decrying Harbaugh as a classless asshole. Well, duh. I’ve written time and time again about how both Harbaugh brothers are giant dicks. John’s equally obnoxious brother Jim had his own post-game incident last season when his “aggressive back-slap” of Lions coach Jim Schwartz set off a minor melee.
Unlike the Scwhartz incident, Tomlin holds some responsibility for the current controversy. Believe me, I’d rather let Ndamakong Suh punt my junk than say anything nice about John Harbaugh but fair is fair. It’s clear from the video that Tomlin had zero interest in shaking Harbaugh’s hand. Evidently Tomlin wasn’t happy with Harbaugh’s comment that “the tougher team won” following the Ravens victory a couple weeks back so he went for a drive-by but Harbaugh wasn’t having it. The look on Tomlin’s face when Harbaugh yanks him back says it all.
In honor of my favorite wrestler, Damien Sandow, I hereby dub Tomlin’s move the macte virtute acetum, the handshake of disdain.
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As we await word whether the NFL Appeals Committee will do the right thing by lifting the suspension of Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, let us turn our attention to other concerns. Namely, this week’s big game against the NFC West Champion San Francisco 49ers. When the ball is kicked off on Monday night, it will be the second time this year the Black and Gold have faced a member of the Harbaugh family. John, as we well know, is coach of the hated Baltimore Ravens. His brother, Jim, is the mastermind behind the Niners’ unexpected resurgence.
The Brothers Harbaugh have one thing in common: They’re both colossal dicks.
For weeks now, some of you may have noticed sarcastic references to “Gatorade showers” in my posts. For those not in on the joke, what I’m referring to is the Ratbirds dousing their coach with the foul-tasting sports drink after they swept the season series with the Steelers. I’ve watched football a long time and I’d be hard pressed to recall a more ridiculous post-game display. Teams that clinch their first playoff berth in decades shower their coach with Gatorade. Teams that just won the Lombardi Trophy shower their coach with Gatorade. Accomplishing the pedestrian feat of beating your division rival a whopping twice in a row does not merit such a spectacle.
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