I’ve watched every minute of every Super Bowl from the opening kick-off through the trophy presentation since the New York Giants crushed the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXI way back in 1987. Except for last year. Oh, I watched the entire game, from the embarrassing power outage all the way until the blatant pass interference that ended the San Francisco 49ers comeback bid. Immediately after that ridiculous non-call, I turned on my PS3 and set to blowing stuff up because I’d rather have a colonic with a rusty drainpipe than watch the Baltimore Ravens hoist the Lombardi Trophy.
Between the Brothers Harbaugh meeting in a battle of epic assholes to the endless stories about what a gift to humanity
Stabby McStabberson Ray Lewis has been since the pesky little murder he aided and abetted ten years ago, they couldn’t have picked a worse Super Bowl for fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
This year’s match-up won’t be the Worst Super Bowl Ever but it’ll be damn close.
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As we await word whether the NFL Appeals Committee will do the right thing by lifting the suspension of Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, let us turn our attention to other concerns. Namely, this week’s big game against the NFC West Champion San Francisco 49ers. When the ball is kicked off on Monday night, it will be the second time this year the Black and Gold have faced a member of the Harbaugh family. John, as we well know, is coach of the hated Baltimore Ravens. His brother, Jim, is the mastermind behind the Niners’ unexpected resurgence.
The Brothers Harbaugh have one thing in common: They’re both colossal dicks.
For weeks now, some of you may have noticed sarcastic references to “Gatorade showers” in my posts. For those not in on the joke, what I’m referring to is the Ratbirds dousing their coach with the foul-tasting sports drink after they swept the season series with the Steelers. I’ve watched football a long time and I’d be hard pressed to recall a more ridiculous post-game display. Teams that clinch their first playoff berth in decades shower their coach with Gatorade. Teams that just won the Lombardi Trophy shower their coach with Gatorade. Accomplishing the pedestrian feat of beating your division rival a whopping twice in a row does not merit such a spectacle.