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Steelers Alter The Deal, Pray They Don’t Alter It Further

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The Pittsburgh Steelers must be in compliance with the 2011 salary cap by Thursday.  As of this morning, they were still approximately $10 million over the target of $120 million plus three $1 million exceptions.  This coupled with a rash of last minute re-signings set off a round of renegotiations with players already under long term contract.

Ben Roethlisberger and James Harrison were the big ticket items who agreed to alter their deals.  Although let’s be clear, neither Big Ben nor Silverback are taking a pay cut.  The Steelers simply employed an accounting trick to help alleviate some of the cap pressure.  Signing bonuses are divided evenly over the term of the contract and that number in addition to the base salary are what count against the cap.  By lowering the annual salary and paying a larger portion of the contract as a signing bonus, you can effectively lower your cap hit without changing the total value of the contract.
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PlaxWatch: Burress Decides To Jet

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Plaxico Burress decided to return to the city where he experienced his greatest success.  Of course, it’s also the city where he almost blew his dick off at a nightclub, then spent two years in the clink as penance for his abject stupidity.  As the New York Jets discovered, three million dollars goes a long way toward erasing bad memories.

With one stroke of the pen, Plax went from the chain gang to Gang Green.  You gotta hand it to Rex Ryan.  He assembled one of the NFL’s finest collections of thugs and criminals over in Baltimore and is now doing his damnedest to remake his Jets in their image.  Burress will team with another Steeler cast-off, Santonio Holmes, in trying to make Mark Sanchez look like a legitimate championship caliber quarterback.
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PlaxWatch: Burress Breaks Bread With Tomlin

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The Pittsburgh Steelers wooing of free agent ex-con Plaxico Burress kicked in to high gear earlier today.  Evidently, he’s a really cheap date.  First, Burress joined Mike Tomlin, Kevin Colbert, and Art Rooney for breakfast at the Saint Vincent College cafeteria.  I bet they don’t even serve Mimosas.

A short time later, he joined Ben Roethlisberger, James Farrior and Hines Ward at the cool kids table for the team’s afternoon lunch.  No doubt Big Ben repeated his oft-stated desire to have a big target for the passing game while Limas Sweed rocked back and forth weeping softly in the corner.
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Ironhead Jr. Signs With Steelers

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The Pittsburgh Steelers completed deals with their last two unsigned draft picks this afternoon.  Most notably, first rounder [intlink id=”39″ type=”category”]Cameron \”Ironhead Jr.\” Heyward [/intlink]agreed to a four year $6.7 million contract with $3.3 million in guaranteed money.

To give you an idea of how rookies have taken it up the ass under the new CBA, our top pick following our last Super Bowl appearance, Ziggy Hood, signed a five year deal for $8.7 million which included a $6 million signing bonus in addition to another $2.7 million in salary that could double based on various performance incentives.  Not that I would object to being abused to the tune of $3.3 million, mind you.
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Flozell The Hotel Now Vacant

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Another day, another move along the offensive line.

The Pittsburgh Steelers released veteran Flozell Adams after he refused to renegotiate his contract.  He signed a two year deal last year which was to pay him approximately $5 million for the upcoming campaign.  The Steelers, already feeling a salary cap crunch, wanted him back at a lower number.  This move leaves an already questionable offensive line dangerously thin at almost every position.
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Ward Placed On Physically Unable To Tango List

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As players began their annual pilgrimage to Latrobe for training camp, the Pittsburgh Steelers made a few interesting announcements which may hold great importance as we watch the 2011 season unfold.

First, they agreed to terms with draft picks OT Marcus Gilbert, CB Cortez Allen, LB Chris Carter, OG Keith Williams and RB Baron Batch.  This leaves only third round pick CB Curtis Brown and first rounder DT Cameron “IronHead Jr.” Heyward unsigned.  With Will.i.am Gay and Anthony Madison unrestricted free agents and absolutely no proof Keenan Lewis deserves a hat on Sunday, Brown is a complete idiot if he doesn’t sign soon.  Rookies practically never play for this team but the nickel back job would seem to be wide open.

They also placed two players on the Physically Unable to Perform list.  Chris Kemoeatu is experiencing some pain and swelling in his knee which is understandable considering he didn’t have OTAs keeping him away from the buffet table.  The other player on the list is [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward.[/intlink]
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Big Ben Is Gonna Die

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Post-lockout madness has struck the Pittsburgh Steelers with the majority of the action centering around the team’s much-maligned offensive line.

The Steelers entered the day approximately $10 million over the salary cap.  To get within range, they released Antwaan Randle-El and Max Starks.   ARE is no surprise what with the emergence of rookies Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders.  Starks, however, has been the team’s starting left tackle and Franchise player over the past couple seasons.  He did suffer a herniated disc in his neck necessitating season-ending surgery last year so perhaps he has not sufficiently recovered.  Or maybe the Steelers feel they can re-sign him at a lower price with the injury discouraging other teams from showing interest.
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I’m Back (And So Is Football)

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Only difference is I didn’t spend my summer staring at Jerry Jones‘ grotesque botox-enhanced face.

I know you’re ready for some football but as this is the first post in Total Steelers history, please indulge me for a moment.  My name is Chris.   I’m a Steeler fan.  And I used to write for a blog by the name of Nice Pick Cowher.

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