Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”

 Posted by at 8:52 am  Ginger Dictator, Hot Steeler Chicks, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”
Aug 092013


I Wouldn't Mind Searching Her Bag, Amirite?

No NFL franchise has a stronger fan base than the Pittsburgh Steelers. And no NFL franchise does better with the ladies than do the Pittsburgh Steelers. So for the two or three female members of Steeler Nation who read this blog, consider this post a public service announcement. When the preseason kicks off at Heinz Field on Saturday night or when the season proper begins at home on September 8th, the Steelers and NFL have a message for you: “Leave your crap at home!” Continue reading »

34 + 18 = Joy In Pittsburgh

 Posted by at 5:13 am  Pittsburgh Pirates, Steel Dynasty, Training Camp  Comments Off on 34 + 18 = Joy In Pittsburgh
Jul 092012

Eighteen days. In eighteen days, the Pittsburgh Steelers will begin reporting to Latrobe for training camp. The 2012 NFL season will be officially underway. It’s been too long.

I apologize for my sporadic posting schedule this summer. Actually, I’m not. When you have a ton of material to write about during the off-season, that’s usually a sign that things aren’t going well with your team. My most active off-season ever was a couple years ago when Ben Roethlisberger got into a little bit of a situation down in Georgia and I’m sure nobody ever wants to see a repeat of that fiasco.

Thankfully the only big stories to occur since the Black and Gold’s unceremonious exit from the playoffs were the exit of longtime Steelers Hines Ward and James Farrior, the hiring of Todd Haley, and Mike Wallace turning into a whiny little bitch. All things considered, a fairly tranquil off-season. My updates will continue to be a tad sporadic until training camp gets underway but once they kick things into gear, so will Total Steelers. So I thank you for your patience and I hope you’re as excited about the upcoming season as I am.

Thirty-four. While the Steelers and Pens enjoyed totally forgettable seasons, the biggest story in Pittsburgh sports has suddenly become the resurgent Pittsburgh Pirates. With a little less than half the season remaining, the Bucs are a mere 34 wins away from breaking what has become one of the most painful and embarrassing streaks in sports history. With 34 more wins, the Pirates will finally break a string of 19 consecutive losing season.

But the Battlin’ Buccos are actually setting their sights higher than ending the longest sub .500 streak in North American sports history. The team is currently a stunning 48-37 and hold first place in their division. With a top notch pitching staff led by Yankees castoff AJ Burnett and an every day line-up featuring the most exciting player in baseball, Andrew McCutchen, the Pirates might have something special going on. And I think I speak for all ‘Burghers when I say, “Why Not Now?”

Confession time: the Pirates are actually my first true sports love. I was in kindergarten when the Steel Dynasty won their fourth Super Bowl so growing up, I really had precious few chances to witness the glory of living in the City of Champions. The Steelers had a couple decent playoff runs in the 80s and the Pens had Mario Lemieux but there wasn’t any true championship buzz in the city until 1990. That was the year Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonilla and Andy Van Slyke led the Pirates to the first of three straight playoff berths. The 1990 NLCS was the first playoff game I ever attended live (Screw you, Jose Rijos!) and the first time I obsessed over a Pittsburgh sports team on a daily basis.

I loved the Pirates and it was really hard for me to accept what has happened to them since that fateful night in Atlanta. I know this is a Steeler blog and some of you probably couldn’t care less about the Pirates but I think most Steelers fans are Pittsburgh sports fans, period. I know I am. So while we look to Latrobe and what we hope is another glorious season for boys in Black and Gold, let’s keep one eye on the goings on over at PNC Park. The Pirates may be twenty years late to the party but that doesn’t make them any less welcome.

Let’s Go Bucs! Here We Go, Steelers!

Sidney Crosby Is The Real Young Money

 Posted by at 5:12 am  Mike Wallace, Pittsburgh Penguins  Comments Off on Sidney Crosby Is The Real Young Money
Jun 292012

A Pittsburgh sports team has made big news for signing one of their star players to a long term contract extension. Hint: it wasn’t the Pittsburgh Steelers.

At the risk of repeating myself, for the second time this week the Pittsburgh Penguins have done something the Steelers have thus far failed to do. Yesterday, they successfully inked superstar center Sidney Crosby to a 12 year $104.4 million contract extension which effectively keeps him in black and gold for the balance of his career. The new deal, which works out to a tidy $8.7 million per season, natch, is noteworthy for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is that it’s a reasonable compromise for both sides.

What a concept.

I know it seems strange to say the Pens got a deal when they agreed to pay a guy with a troublesome history of concussions over a hundred million dollars but for the best hockey player on the planet, it’s actually a bargain. Guys such as Marian Gaborik, Patrick Kane and Scotty Gomez each make around the same amount per year and none of them can touch a healthy Sid in terms of pure skillz. Crosby could’ve demanded to be the highest paid player in the NHL and there would’ve been no question he deserved it. If the Pens didn’t or couldn’t pay him, 29 other teams would’ve been more than willing to do so.

But he didn’t. Making nine million dollars a year, it’s not like he’s going to be living in Sto-Rox and eating Beef O-Roni out of a can (Unless he wants to. Mmm…) but at the same time he left money on the table. Under the current system, Sid could be making two or three million more per season easily. And given that the nature of sports salaries is to keep going up, who knows what a marquee superstar will be worth four or five years from now. By signing  for what he did, he could conceivably be walking away from another $25-30 million over the course of his playing career.

Why did he do that? Well, it’s like I said in my previous post about Jordan Staal, the NHL is a salary cap league. If you give all your money to one or two players, you have to scrimp and save on the others. Crosby would rather skim a few million off his paycheck so the team can go out and make itself better than take all he can for himself and say to hell with everybody else. What a novel concept!

Which brings me back to the Steelers and Mike Wallace. Unlike Crosby, Wallace isn’t the best player in his league. Wallace isn’t the best at his position. One could even argue he’s not even the best at his position on his own team. Yet he wants a contract which would set a new standard at wide receiver while putting a major dent into the Steelers’ salary cap. There doesn’t seem to be any room for compromise either, despite the Steelers good faith efforts.

I guess I shouldn’t expect better from some greedy bastard whose chosen nickname is Young Money. But Sid’s situation really does illustrate the value of character. I’m not saying the Penguins are the greatest franchise ever or anything. The Steelers are still Pittsburgh’s crown jewel with a level of success which speaks for itself. However, a lot of that success was built with guys like Jerome Bettis and Hines Ward, guys who didn’t play just for paychecks, guys who actually took pay cuts or signed for less than market value because they put a premium on winning. If Wallace truly represents the new breed of Steeler, I can’t help but fear for what the future holds.


What Jordan Staal Says About Mike Wallace

 Posted by at 4:22 am  Art Rooney II, Mike Wallace, Pittsburgh Penguins  Comments Off on What Jordan Staal Says About Mike Wallace
Jun 252012

Friday was a crazy day for Pittsburgh sports fans. While the Pittsburgh Pirates continued their improbable run at first place in the NL Central by defeating the Detroit Tigers, the Penguins were hosting the 2012 NHL Draft over at Consol Energy Center. Naturally, the Pens dropped the biggest bomb of the evening by trading budding superstar Jordan Staal to the Carolina Hurricanes for a solid if unspectacular young center and a couple of prospects. The loss of beloved player like Staal was met with much sadness as I haven’t seen teenage girls this upset since pictures of Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez hit the internet.

The men in the audience greeted the news with a sense of resignation as the Penguins really had no choice in the matter. Staal is entering the final year of his contract and just 24 hours earlier had rejected a ten year offer from the team that would have paid him a couple million per year less than he could get on the open market in exchange for a long-term commitment. It was the best the Penguins could do in a league where teams with an abundance of star power are hamstrung by the NHL’s salary cap. Having rejected Pittsburgh’s best offer, the Pens were faced with the prospect of Staal departing via free agency with nothing in return so they chose the lesser of two evils.

Any of this sound familiar?

The situation the Pens found themselves in with Staal is very similar to the one the Pittsburgh Steelers are currently facing with disgruntled wide receiver Mike Wallace. Both teams play for leagues where a salary cap  forces them to prioritize how they spend their money. And both teams are blessed with an abundance of talent which may sound like the sports version of #WhitePeopleProblems (follow me on Twitter!) but is indeed an issue because you can’t pay everybody. The net result is both teams are faced with making very difficult decisions when it comes to handing out contracts.

Admittedly this isn’t a perfect analogy. There are some key differences between the NHL and NFL, not the least of which is the players. Staal would’ve showed up on Day 1 on training camp and played every shift as hard as he played when he was a wet behind the ears rookie until the Pens’ season ended. He wouldn’t of held out or spent the year bitching and moaning about his contract like NFL players are known to do. Hockey players honor their contracts which can’t be said of guys like Mike Wallace, who continues to hold out, most recently missing last week’s mandatory mini-camp. Even Steelers President Art Rooney II is growing a bit frustrated with Wallace’s stubborn refusal to acknowledge the reality of his situation.

On the flip side, if the NHL operated under NFL rules, perhaps Staal would still be a Penguin. There is one key difference between leagues and it’s a pretty big one. Wallace, like Staal, will be an unrestricted free agent next year. Unlike Staal, however, Wallace can be Franchised tagged by the Steelers, basically tying him to his current team for an additional season. Now the Steelers tagging their young speedster would create a massive cap hit (about $9 million) which is the hold-up in signing a new contract in the first place – well, that and Wallace’s ridiculous notion that he’s worth LarryFitz money – but it does provide a bit of a safety net that the Penguins simply didn’t have.

Differences aside, I still can’t help but look at the Penguins proactive response to dealing with one of their stars’ impending free agency and wonder if the Steelers haven’t bungled a similar situation. They theoretically could still deal Wallace if he continues to be a monumental pain the ass but the time to get anything close to fair value in return has passed. At this point, it seems the Steelers are stuck with either reaching a deal or riding out a tumultuous season with a disgruntled Wallace providing a constant distraction. Conventional wisdom is you never truly win when you trade away a star player but I think the Penguins did their best to mitigate the damage. Have the Steelers?