Steeler Nation Has A New Banner To Wave

 Posted by at 6:08 am  Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Steeler Nation Has A New Banner To Wave
Sep 072012

Remember the Terrible Towel? Myron Cope‘s brainchild has been a cherished symbol to members of Steeler Nation and an object of much scorn to those who are jealous of the Pittsburgh Steelers success. The Terrible Towel has been everywhere, from the Great Wall of China to outer space. The stories associated with the Towel are numerous, such as the curse which befalls those who desecrate it to the story of obnoxious Redskins owner Danny Snyder ordering his team to hand out cheap knock-offs because he was so angry over seeing a sea of Towels twirling through the air the last time Steeler Nation invaded FedEx Field.

As if having one banner wasn’t enough, the Steelers have evidently authorized another. I guess the NFL realized what a cash machine Allegheny Valley School has with those Towels so they’re desperate to duplicate it for 31 other teams. A few years back, they tried to sell people on insipid team inspired “Rally Towels” which were widely mocked as obvious rip-offs and totally failed to catch on because no fan base is as rabid as Steeler Nation. So the marketing geniuses over at the NFL have gone back to the drawing board and come with something called the Fan Flag Challenge where fans for each team submitted their designs for team-specific flags.

The Steelers, ever the loyal soldiers, went along with this farce. The winning design, as pictured above, was done by Brent Osbourne, a 12 year veteran of the US Army. I have to admit, what Mr. Osbourne came up with was pretty sweet. The six hypocycloids (the technical name for those stars the Steelers wear on their helmets) representing the six Lombardi Trophies along with the magnificent Pittsburgh skyline make the flag look quite striking.

As an aside, how annoying is it that our own hometown newspaper, the Post-Gazette, still writes “Steelers Nation” when everybody else uses Steeler Nation? UFlorida fans don’t say Gators Nation and the two remaining Boston baseball fans don’t say Red Soxes Nation, do they? Man, unless you have a parakeet or are in the process of paper-training your puppy, I don’t know why anybody bothers with that unreadable rag. Screw Mark Cuban buying the Pirates, why can’t he come here and start a decent newspaper, perhaps with some columnists under the age of 65?

Anyway, Steeler Nation surely doesn’t need another symbol to wave around when they invade opposing team’s stadiums. However, many of us do have flag poles and as cool as a Terrible Towel looks worn Yinzer-style (tucked through your belt on game days), it’s not exactly ideal home decor. For those of us with flag poles, basically everybody living in Mt. Lebanon, this new Steelers flag will look snazzy flying high above our homes from September through Super Bowl Sunday. When they actually get around to selling them, that is.

One question though: if the Steelers lose to the Ravens again, do we fly the flag at half-mast?

The Mysterious Disappearance Of Steeler Pride

 Posted by at 11:28 am  Blog News, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on The Mysterious Disappearance Of Steeler Pride
Jun 062012

No, I’m not referring to this blog and my sad posting schedule as of late. I apologize for the irregular updates but it’s summer here in the ‘Burgh so between various outdoor activities and taking advantage of the Pittsburgh Pirates season tickets my family shares (before their inevitable collapse in mid-August), I haven’t found much time for blogging. Not that there’s much NFL news to write about anyway. This is the part of the off-season where unless your team has some serious run-ins with Johnny Law, there simply isn’t much of note going on.

I’ve seen where other Steelers blogs have gotten a week’s worth of posts out of Kordell Stewart‘s retirement. Think about that for a second. I love Slash but the entire sum of his Steeler career was two great seasons and two good ones. If going through that with a fine-tooth comb doesn’t reek of desperation, I don’t know what does.

Another story getting a lot of play on the Black and Gold blogosphere is the mysterious case of the Steelers banner thieves. For those who have no heard, a member of Steeler Nation residing in Washington, DC wrote to a local blog detailing the repeated disappearance of Steeler banners she hangs outside her house. This story would be funny enough had it ended there but she also included surveillance camera footage of hoodlums pilfering her banners. That’s what launched this story from funny tidbit to an internet sensation.

I don’t know how many of my readers are from our nation’s capital but I have an aunt who’s lived there for several decades now. One thing you need to know about Washington, DC is it’s filled with perverts and crooks. Besides politicians, they also have a lot crime. My aunt has had more than her share of run-ins with purse snatchers and limp-dicked men in raincoats.

In addition to being home to more thugs and criminals than the Cincinnati Bengals, DC is also football mad. You wouldn’t know it from the way Steeler Nation famously took over FedEx Field a few years back but trust me, they are. Any slight improvement, any brief glimmer of competence from their beloved Redskins and the town goes into a full-on frenzy. So when you add a penchant for thievery to rampant homerism, it’s not surprising that poor Libby Kavoulakis (is that a Yinzer name or what?) fell victim to her Steeler Pride.

The best part of the story for me was that the thief actually called Libby and tried to arrange a meeting. I’ve heard of people kidnapping pets and a particularly vengeful ex of mine once tried to extort me over my prize comic collection but holding Steeler banners hostage is definitely a first. Even more incredibly, Libby went to a Whole Foods (of course) to try and negotiate her banners safe return. If we nominated people for Steeler Nation Fan of the Year, this lady would definitely be an early favorite.