Nov 102011

Your old pal Chris here. A couple weeks back, I ran a special Guest Blogger column by longtime reader Hennessy. His post generated the most comments in Total Steelers history clearly indicating yinz guys like him better than you like me. Since I’m still stunned and angry over the Baltimore game and, left to my own devices, I’d write five posts ranting about the various travesties that happened on Sunday, I figured it might be nice to bring in a relief pitcher to change things up a bit. Take it away, Hennessy…

The Pittsburgh Steelers have drafted five quarterbacks since 2000, all of them in the fifth round, except, of course, Ben Roethlisberger. The brightest star in that group was Ex-Tennessee Volunteer Tee Martin, mostly because he had a pretty cool name which sounded particularly good in Pittsburghese. As we learned (the hard way) last Sunday, not to mention with the parade of human traffic cones who man the offensive line every season, we’ve clearly had greater areas of need in recent drafts. But this season and the success of Young Money have me hoping there is a plan to develop a game-ready mentor to Ben in the coming years.

I never thought I would find myself in this position, but Bruce Arians has made me a fan of the pass-first offense. That’s not to say I don’t shudder every time I hear someone saying we are getting away from “Steeler Football” (because we are, and yinzers don’t take well to change with the Stillers). There might not be anything more fun to watch than the pounding football of old, but the way Ben snaps, scrambles and throws has been pretty entertaining. And whadda ya know, he’s winning a lot of damn football games doing it.
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Colts Fans Dropping The F-Bomb

 Posted by at 3:47 am  Charlie Batch, Dennis Dixon, Tomlinisms  Comments Off on Colts Fans Dropping The F-Bomb
Sep 212011

Some people never miss an episode of Ice Road Truckers. Others can’t get enough reruns of 2½ Men.  By the way, sorry Ashton Kutcher, you’re good but you’re still no Charlie Sheen.  Me?  I never miss a [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] press conference. Oh, I don’t watch because I’m interested in his injury reports (he constantly lies about those) or his strategy for the Pittsburgh Steelers upcoming opponents (ditto).

I simply watch for the hilarity. From his grand pronouncements (“Unleash Hell!) to his ridiculous Tomlinisms (“The standard is the standard.”) to his bizarre non-sequitors (“We were grape squashers.”), no coach is as thoroughly entertaining as Mike Tomlin. I wish the Steelers sold tickets to his pressers because at least you can be assured of a solid 15-20 minutes of set-ups and punchlines. That’s certainly more than you can say about a Dane Cook concert.
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Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment

 Posted by at 2:29 pm  Dennis Dixon, Mike Tomlin, Preseason  Comments Off on Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment
Sep 022011

About those preseason games…

Sorry for being tardy with this update but watching the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] final exhibition game last night left me feeling not unlike Alex after undergoing treatment in “A Clockwork Orange.”  The tone was set early when Charlie Batch played two series then spent the rest of the game on the sideline wondering why the Panthers cheerleaders all look like they’re thirty-five years old.  [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] made no effort to disguise this farce, telling reporters afterward that if a player was suffering from anything more serious than a hangnail, they weren’t going to see action.  I feel sorry for the people of Carolina who paid good money to see UFL level action at NFL level prices.

Remember, folks, Roger Goodell is all about listening to the fans.
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Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

 Posted by at 1:39 am  Dennis Dixon, Maurkice Pouncey, Offensive Line, Preseason, Secondary, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)
Aug 292011

Alright, who didn’t bring their rabbit’s foot?

Before the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] kicked off their third preseason game Saturday night, I threw up a quick note beseeching those making the trek to Heinz Field to bring whatever good luck charms they may hold dear.  I knew the starters were going to see significant playing time.  And I knew that the last thing we needed was one of those starters to get injured in a meaningless exhibition game.  When the game ended with not one, not two, but three significant injuries to key personnel, I knew somebody didn’t listen.

The ugliest injury belonged to back-up quarterback Byron Leftwich, who broke his left arm bracing his fall early in the second half.  The camera didn’t cut directly to [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink] so we can only speculate whether he was sticking pins into his Leftwich voodoo doll at that exact moment.  Seriously, how much luck can one man have?  Dix must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass.
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Bring Your Rabbit’s Foot To Heinz Field

 Posted by at 12:11 pm  Dennis Dixon, Mike Tomlin, Offensive Line, Preseason  Comments Off on Bring Your Rabbit’s Foot To Heinz Field
Aug 272011

The [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] face the Atlanta Falcons in the all-important third exhibition game tonight at Heinz Field.  If you’re going to the game, don’t walk under any ladders.  Stay clear of black cats.  And if you own a rabbit’s foot, by all means bring it with you.

The third preseason game is where many a season is won or lost.  It’s the game where starters see the most amount of work in anticipation of the season opener.  [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] has already stated he’ll be be playing the starting units almost the entire first half.  Hopefully when that half is over, everybody will be healthy and ready for the regular season.

Beyond praying to the Injury Gods that they watch another game tonight, there will be a couple interesting little side notes to keep tabs on.  First, [intlink id=”85″ type=”category”]Tony Hills[/intlink], who has been a total bust as a tackle, will start at right guard.  The Steelers have talked of the move during training camp and this will be Hills formal audition for the job as for some reason Doug Legursky and Ramon Foster have fallen out of favor.  I don’t know what Chris Kemoeatu or Jonathan Scott have done exactly to be penciled in as sure thing starters either but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

Also, for fans of [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink], this may be your last chance to see Slash 2.0 in the Black and Gold.  I believe Dix will get a lot of work in the second half as the Steelers try to showcase him for other teams.  I make no secret of my love for the guy but he’s not really what a Super Bowl contending team needs in a number three starter.  The Steelers would dearly love to get a draft pick for him rather than simply cutting him loose.  Considering the Raiders wasted a third rounder on a glorified power forward like Terrelle Pryor while the Colts just signed 45 year old redneck racist Kerry Collins to fill-in for an injured Pey-Pey, there has to be SOME market for a young quarterback with Dix’s upside.

One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About

 Posted by at 11:45 am  Charlie Batch, Dennis Dixon, Roster Moves, Terrelle Pryor  Comments Off on One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About
Aug 222011


The Pittsburgh Steelers reportedly sent representatives to watch Jeanette High School and Ohio State tattoo aficionado [intlink id=”106″ type=”category”]Terrelle Pryor[/intlink]’s pro day last week.  One would think the Steelers would have no use for another QB but Pryor said in pre-draft interviews he would entertain the idea of moving to wide receiver.  Not that the Steelers have any dire need at that position either.  At 6’5 and running a 4.4/40, they’d probably make an exception for the right price.

It became moot a few minutes ago when the Oakland Raiders secured the rights to Pryor for a third round draft pick.  Leave it to the Raiders to overpay by two rounds in the Supplemental Draft.  Then again, he was the fastest quarterback to come out of college in the past three years.  Oh, Grandpa Al, never change.
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