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Chris Johnson

Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

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The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered several injuries in their 16-9 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Zoltan Mesko is not listed among the casualties. I’m sure he spent the better part of the evening icing down his foot, though. Poor Zoltan did more punting yesterday than he did all last season for the New England Patriots.

I can safely say the Black and Gold put on the worst display of offensive football I’ve seen in my thirty odd years of yinzer-hood. Worse than when they had a guy named Walter Abercrombie lining up in the backfield. Worse than when they were being quarterbacked by Bubby Brister. Worse than the glory days of Mark Malone.

Words cannot describe how inept the Steelers appeared on offense. When Ben Roethlisberger hit Jerricho Cotchery for the team’s lone touchdown with a minute and a half left in the game, I actually saw people on Twitter posting “Nice of the offense to finally show up.” That’s insane. The offense never showed up yesterday. NEVER.Read More »Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

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Finally, football has returned to Pittsburgh…

After an unusually long off-season following a disappointing 8-8 campaign, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take the field hoping a dubious mix of aging veterans and unproven youngsters will lead them back to the promised land. First up this Sunday is an appointment with the Tennessee Titans at Heinz Field.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

Bless You, Troy Polamalu

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Finding an honorable football player is akin to finding a virgin in a whorehouse.  By the way, we here at TotalSteelers were saddened to hear about the recent arrest of the Monroeville Madam.  Hopefully she shredded her records from 2009. The story was shocking not because her clientele included “professional athletes” as everybody knows the Pittsburgh Pirates only score when they pay for it.  No, I was surprised to learn her pimp daddy was “Buck” Buczkowski, an ex-NFL lineman who played his college ball at Pitt.

That kind of work seems far better suited to Miami alums.

Getting back on track, I’ve long held the belief that most professional athletes are assholes.  I’m not saying they all are but there is a certain level of arrogance that goes hand in hand with being paid obscene amounts of money and having 35,000 fans cheer your every move on Sunday.  Think back to who were the most arrogant kids in high school.  The jocks, right?  Pro athletes are the jocks magnified by a factor of ten.  And because of that, many have ginormous egos and an overinflated sense of entitlement.
Read More »Bless You, Troy Polamalu