Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”

 Posted by at 8:52 am  Ginger Dictator, Hot Steeler Chicks, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”
Aug 092013


I Wouldn't Mind Searching Her Bag, Amirite?

No NFL franchise has a stronger fan base than the Pittsburgh Steelers. And no NFL franchise does better with the ladies than do the Pittsburgh Steelers. So for the two or three female members of Steeler Nation who read this blog, consider this post a public service announcement. When the preseason kicks off at Heinz Field on Saturday night or when the season proper begins at home on September 8th, the Steelers and NFL have a message for you: “Leave your crap at home!” Continue reading »

Sound-Off: Where Your Skills, NFL?

 Posted by at 5:42 am  Ginger Dictator, Pro Bowl, Sound-Off  Comments Off on Sound-Off: Where Your Skills, NFL?
Jan 272012

By Hennessy

My apologies for dropping off the Total Steelers map the past couple weeks. If you must know, I let my confidence seep in to my gambling and have been in a perpetual “Tebow” since the close of the beat down in Denver. It turns out typing is not so easy when praising thy lord via fist on forehead. Let’s just say Mayor Ravenstahl’s PR photo-op was nothing on my two week long homage to Father Tim.

Now that I have stood back up and iced down my aching knees, I am being a good American and preparing for the biggest game in all of professional football. The final showdown between those two teams who have survived the gauntlet of late season football. The game that everyone eagerly anticipates whether our Black and Gold are there to represent the AFC or not.

It’s time for the PRO BOWL BABY!!!!

Setting my overly exaggerated humor aside, when is this game going to catch up with the times? MLB made their All-Star game important by awarding home-field advantage in the World Series to the winner. The NHL added a roster draft so we can laugh at the last man picked like the fat kid in gym class. Oh, and they both have skill competitions which are usually way more exciting than the ACTUAL GAMES!!!
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James Harrison’s Badassery May Change Entire NFL

 Posted by at 8:26 am  Circle of Hate, Hines Ward, James Harrison, Troy Polamalu  Comments Off on James Harrison’s Badassery May Change Entire NFL
Dec 142011

Courtesy KissingSuzyKolber

Pop Quiz: A player gets laid out by a vicious and borderline illegal hit. Less than five minutes later, the player returns to action after a cursory exam, despite the league’s mandate that all players must pass a neurological test before going back on the field. The next day, the player learns he suffered a concussion on the play and risked serious mental and physical disability by returning.

Who is more deserving of criticism: The guy who laid the player out or the player’s team for letting him go back on the field, in violation of league rules, because they felt winning a game was more important than the long-term health of their man?

If you answered the latter, then I’m with you. James Harrison‘s shot heard ’round the world has shaken up the NFL in more ways than one. Most directly, we now have the precedent set for repeat offenders being suspended when fines don’t seem to work. However, it’s the indirect result which may alter the game even more greatly in the months and years to come. And it isn’t even Silverback’s fault.
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Dec 132011

All good things come to an end…

Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison has been a good boy this year. No personal fouls. No fines for plays that weren’t flagged. By the way, I want everybody to re-read that sentence and let sink in how utterly ridiculous that concept is. Meanwhile, other than a handful of (deserved) fines against Ryan Clark and Chris Kemoeatu, Roger Goodell has been fairly lax on persecuting the Black and Gold. Given Silverback’s verbal bitchslapping of the commissioner in Men’s Journal, he’s probably been more frustrated than a virgin directing a porno waiting for revenge.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Ginger Dictator, vengeance is mine.

Earlier today, the NFL handed down a nearly unprecedented punishment for playing football, suspending Harrison for one game due to his vicious hit on Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy. It was the first time a player has been suspended over a football play in 25 years. Keep blazing those trails, Ginger. No wonder the Steelers were the only team to vote against the CBA.

I’m not going to rehash Harrison’s hit in detail because there is no point. I will only say Ben Roethlisberger takes similarly violent and vicious hits all the time and I don’t see others’ being suspended. McCoy left the pocket and moved toward the line of scrimmage. Inadvertent helmet-to-helmet hits on running backs are legal because it goes with the territory. A quarterback scrambling around trying to make a play is no different. Harrison aimed for his chest and didn’t leave his feet. A similar hit on any other player wouldn’t have drawn any flags, let alone a fine or suspension.

I apologize for the lateness of this update but I was waiting for the Harrison verdict to come down from up on high. I kinda expected Ginger would slap him with a suspension. Delirious with power after suspending Ndumakong Suh, a junkie always craves their next fix. Plus, after hitting Silverback with $125,000 in fines last year, this was the next logical step. The irony here is sitting out a game will cost Harrison only about $73,500 (one game check).

Maybe that’s why he tweeted “Lol!!!” minutes after the ruling was made.

Steeler Nation Sound-Off: Bye Bye Week

 Posted by at 11:43 am  Ginger Dictator, Sound-Off  Comments Off on Steeler Nation Sound-Off: Bye Bye Week
Nov 172011

Old buddy Chris here. In my continuing effort to enjoy my own little personal bye week, I asked our pal Hennessy if he had any ideas for yet another guest commentary. In return, he had a question for me. I didn’t have an answer and the result of my ignorance is now before your beady little eyes…

Your faithful football commentators Chris and Hennessy are both stumped on this question. What determines Which Team has a bye week When? Seriously, leave a comment and drop some knowledge if you know. Every year we can’t wait to find out who we are going to play, then we eagerly await learning when we will play them (date, time and whims of NBC execs pending), and then we tune into ESPN (Lord have mercy on our souls) for commentary on the other 31 teams.

So now we know the schedule, right?

We know when to adjust our Steeler-biased fantasy team, right?

But why this week!?! Why do I have to bench Rashard Mendenhall when he has finally learned what the white line in front of the end zone means? TWICE in the SAME game!!!!!
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Oct 182011

The big news from NFL week six involved the altercation between head coaches Jim Schwartz of the Detroit Lions and and Jim Harbaugh of the  San Francisco 49ers. Yesterday evening, the league announced [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] will not fine either coach for their behavior. As shocking as it may be that the Ginger Dictator failed to partake in his favorite pastime, I’m not really surprised. For one, no [intlink id=”68″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] were involved. For another, it wasn’t much of a fight. I’ve seen drunken hootchies over in Oakland throw down harder than those two putzes.

Not that I blame Schwartz for flipping out. Harbaugh was yanking up his shirt and belly bumping his players like he had just won the Little League World Series. He then evidently told Schwartz to “get the F out of my way” when they met at mid-field. The best part was after Schwartz went after him in aggressive fashion, Harbaugh ran like a scalded dog only to turn around and act like he wanted to fight after six or seven people where there to keep them apart.  As we’ve seen with the assclown in Baltimore, those Harbaugh brothers are pure class.
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Sep 222011

And you thought [intlink id=”52″ type=”category”]James Harrison[/intlink] didn’t like [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink]…

Welcome to F-bomb week here at Total Steelers. The video above comes from the aftermath of the AFC Championship game where the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Indianapolis Colts (and future 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh) to punch a ticket to their first Super Bowl in fifteen years. Yes, that’s [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] you see at the beginning of the clip.  It saddens me when shortsighted Steeler fans try to argue how Mike Tomlin is such a better coach than the Chin “because he’s won two AFC Championship games” as if the two Cowher won (in addition to appearing in four others) somehow don’t count. When Tomlin wins one with a quarterback comparable to Neil Freakin’ O’Donnell, then we’ll talk.

Greg Lloyd was a bad bad man. As the Steel Dynasty of the 70s slowly faded away, the Black and Gold maintained their tradition of superior linebacking into the 80s, most notably Mike Merriwether and David Little. But it wasn’t until Lloyd became a permanent member of the starting line-up in 1989 (not coincidentally, Chuck Noll’s final playoff team) that the Steelers D regained the ferocious reputation the Steel Curtain had originated a decade prior. Harbaugh famously told an interviewer he wasn’t afraid of anything until he played against Greg Lloyd.
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Ginger Dictator Strikes Again

 Posted by at 5:35 am  Ginger Dictator, Hines Ward, James Harrison, Legal Trouble  Comments Off on Ginger Dictator Strikes Again
Aug 302011

Kenny Britt fought the law and Kenny won.

This little nugget almost slipped by me over the weekend.  NFL Commissioner [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] announced that players who ran afoul of the law during the lockout will not face disciplinary action for their offenses.  NFLPA executive member Charlie Batch was pleased with by this outcome.  “”How can he?” Batch said. “You locked us out. How can you enforce your personal conduct policy?”

Indeed, Chaz.  How can the Ginger Dictator suspend somebody for something they did while not technically subject to his rules?

Ask Terrelle Pryor.
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Steelers Won’t Endorse Goodell’s Dictatorship

 Posted by at 1:23 am  Ginger Dictator, James Harrison, Preseason  Comments Off on Steelers Won’t Endorse Goodell’s Dictatorship
Aug 052011

The NFLPA finally ratified the league’s Collective Bargaining Agreement yesterday afternoon, putting an end to almost five months of labor uncertainty.  Despite player rep/noted loudmouth [intlink id=”60″ type=”category”]Ryan Clark[/intlink]’s dire warning, the ten year deal passed by a comfortable margin.

No thanks to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Last year, I repeatedly harped on all the ways Roger Goodell tried (unsuccessfully) to screw over the Black and Gold.  To say he’s not a popular figure amongst Steeler Nation would be like saying Justin Bieber wouldn’t go over well at a Hell’s Angels rally.  However, many times, we as fans, get much more worked up over things than the players themselves do.  Not so in this case as the entire team voted AGAINST the CBA in a show of protest against the[intlink id=”8″ type=”category”] Ginger Dictator.[/intlink]

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I’m Back (And So Is Football)

 Posted by at 6:52 pm  Blog News  Comments Off on I’m Back (And So Is Football)
Jul 282011

Only difference is I didn’t spend my summer staring at Jerry Jones‘ grotesque botox-enhanced face.

I know you’re ready for some football but as this is the first post in Total Steelers history, please indulge me for a moment.  My name is Chris.   I’m a Steeler fan.  And I used to write for a blog by the name of Nice Pick Cowher.

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