Nov 152011


Don’t make the Football Gods angry. You wouldn’t like them when they’re angry. Clearly, the NFL’s illustrious commissioner ran afoul of them with his harebrained proposal to increase the schedule to 18 games. And the Football Gods have shown the Ginger Dictator who’s boss.

A little less than a week ago, I featured a guest post by my good buddy Hennessey. The theme of his piece was, “What would the Pittsburgh Steelers do if they lost Ben Roethlisberger?”  Stay calm, Steeler Nation, Big Ben is fine. However, that post turned out to be an eerie prediction of things to come for a number of other NFL teams.

Hennessey, if you’re reading this, hook a brother up with this week’s Lotto numbers?

When the story of the 2011 season is written, yesterday will be known as Black Monday. Two AFC teams with playoff aspirations lost their starting quarterbacks for the year. Matt Cassel of the Kansas City Chiefs suffered “a hand injury” which appears to be very serious. The Houston Texans’ Matt Schaub has suffered a Lisfranc injury which is a fancy way of saying he hurt his foot really really bad. Then there is the Dream Team, the Philadelphia Eagles, who revealed their quarterback had two broken ribs which would likely keep him out of action indefinitely.
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James Harrison Will Play With One Eye Tied Behind His Back

 Posted by at 3:43 am  Injury Report, James Harrison, Lawrence Timmons  Comments Off on James Harrison Will Play With One Eye Tied Behind His Back
Oct 052011

I think [intlink id=”60″ type=”category”]Ryan Clark[/intlink] accurately sums up my feelings on the matter…

However, since I refuse to be held to 140 characters or less, here are 1,259 more on the subject. In my recap of the Texans debacle, I mentioned Pittsburgh Steelers All-Pro linebacker [intlink id=”52″ type=”category”]James Harrison[/intlink] missed time when a piece of helmet lining flew into his eye. I didn’t pull that story out my ass. I was only going by what the man tweeted himself:

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Big Ben Isn’t Dead (Yet)

 Posted by at 4:49 am  Big Ben, Injury Report, Offensive Line  Comments Off on Big Ben Isn’t Dead (Yet)
Oct 042011

The good news:  [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink]’s foot isn’t broken.

The bad news:  If he continues playing behind the [intlink id=”166″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] offensive line, it soon will be. Along with his arms, legs, back and neck.

The Post-Gazette is reporting the MRI on Big Ben’s foot revealed no broken bones. The ultra-secretive Steelers aren’t revealing the exact nature of the damage, though. ESPN’s Chris Mortenson is saying it’s a sprain which really doesn’t tell us much. A Grade I sprain is fairly minor. Ben mummified his foot and played with such a sprain for most of last season. However, a misleadingly named Grade III sprain is actually torn ligaments which could sideline Ben for several weeks.

Ben has said he will do whatever he can to play on Sunday. I hope his sham wife is smart enough to hide all sharp objects and lock the medicine cabinet at the Roethlisberger estate. This man clearly has a deathwish.

A fully healthy Ben has been running for his life all season and he’s still taken a beating. Last Sunday was the most vicious pounding I’ve seen since that one Sasha Grey movie. I don’t even want to contemplate what kind of abuse a hobbled Ben would endure. The Titans are mediocre this year, exactly the kind of team [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]Charlie Batch[/intlink] is still capable of beating. I would rather Ben sit  out a week or two until his mobility is at least partially restored rather than heroically take the field and possibly suffer a season-ending injury by acting as a sitting duck.

I’d also encourage Ben to sit out in silent protest. I know it’s not his style to whine and complain like Tom Brady or Michael Vick but I have no such morals. [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Kevin Colbert[/intlink] should be brought up on charges for what he’s allowed to happen. It is absolutely criminal that the Steelers are blessed with a top five NFL quarterback and they just throw him to the wolves behind a patchwork offensive line. Why would you bring in an offensive coordinator who runs a Flying Circus, assemble a fine young receiving corps  and invest $100 million in a franchise quarterback to run the whole shebang, then wreck it all by cutting corners along the [intlink id=”85″ type=”category”]offensive line[/intlink]?

It’s like buying a Porsche then pulling out the engine and replacing it with one from a Volvo.

Week 4 Recap: Down And Out In Houston

 Posted by at 3:58 am  Antonio Brown, Big Ben, Cameron Heyward, James Harrison, Maurkice Pouncey, Offensive Line, Rashard Mendenhall, Recaps  Comments Off on Week 4 Recap: Down And Out In Houston
Oct 032011

The [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] ain’t drinkin’ wine.  They’re still stompin’ grapes.

The Black and Gold shook off a first half grape-stomping by the Houston Texans to make it a game before ultimately falling short 17-10. I feel like a broken record saying this but the final score does not accurately reflect what happened in the game. The Texans had not one but two touchdowns wiped off the scoreboard because of boneheaded penalties. Shaun Suisham’s Miss of the Week was of the blocked variety but Daniael Manning blocked Dan Sepulveda in the back nullifying the TD. Well, despite Dierdorf’s asinine hollering, the Dreamy One did play linebacker at Baylor. Late in the fourth, a pick six was wiped out for roughing [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink].

If not for the Texans self-inflicted wounds and a gallant defensive effort in the second half, this would have been one of the most one-sided ass-whuppins’ in recent memory. I’ve seldom seen the Steelers dominated in all three phases of the game like they were yesterday. Arian Foster had 90 rushing yards in the first quarter. The Texans began the game by driving 114 yards for a touchdown. ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN YARDS. How is this possible? Houston started at their own 5 and took two 10 yard holding penalties along the way.
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Know Thy Enemy: Houston Texans

 Posted by at 10:48 am  Face Me Ike, Game Preview, Offensive Line  Comments Off on Know Thy Enemy: Houston Texans
Oct 012011

I got a bad feeling about this…

The [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] return to the Lone Star State for the first time since last season’s soul-crushing loss in Super Bowl XLV. However, rather than the team who reside at Jerry Jones’ tribute to his minuscule penis, their opponents are the Cowboys’ slacker younger brothers, the Houston Texans. I’m going to level with my dear readers. I’m very very worried about this game. Between the injuries to the offensive line and the shaky secondary, I can’t help feeling like we’re in the Millennium Falcon getting sucked toward the Death Star.

This week, we’re going to do something a bit different in Know Thy Enemy. The aptly named Pat Starr over at the State of the Texans blog kindly agreed to give us the lowdown on his team. After you’re done reading this, click on over to check out my answers to his questions. In the meantime, I’m going to stick to my regular format but insert Pat’s info when appropriate. So text is me, quote block’s are Pat.
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