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Pittsburgh Steelers

Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

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Alright, who didn’t bring their rabbit’s foot?

Before the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] kicked off their third preseason game Saturday night, I threw up a quick note beseeching those making the trek to Heinz Field to bring whatever good luck charms they may hold dear.  I knew the starters were going to see significant playing time.  And I knew that the last thing we needed was one of those starters to get injured in a meaningless exhibition game.  When the game ended with not one, not two, but three significant injuries to key personnel, I knew somebody didn’t listen.

The ugliest injury belonged to back-up quarterback Byron Leftwich, who broke his left arm bracing his fall early in the second half.  The camera didn’t cut directly to [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink] so we can only speculate whether he was sticking pins into his Leftwich voodoo doll at that exact moment.  Seriously, how much luck can one man have?  Dix must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass.
Read More »Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

Bless You, Troy Polamalu

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Finding an honorable football player is akin to finding a virgin in a whorehouse.  By the way, we here at TotalSteelers were saddened to hear about the recent arrest of the Monroeville Madam.  Hopefully she shredded her records from 2009. The story was shocking not because her clientele included “professional athletes” as everybody knows the Pittsburgh Pirates only score when they pay for it.  No, I was surprised to learn her pimp daddy was “Buck” Buczkowski, an ex-NFL lineman who played his college ball at Pitt.

That kind of work seems far better suited to Miami alums.

Getting back on track, I’ve long held the belief that most professional athletes are assholes.  I’m not saying they all are but there is a certain level of arrogance that goes hand in hand with being paid obscene amounts of money and having 35,000 fans cheer your every move on Sunday.  Think back to who were the most arrogant kids in high school.  The jocks, right?  Pro athletes are the jocks magnified by a factor of ten.  And because of that, many have ginormous egos and an overinflated sense of entitlement.
Read More »Bless You, Troy Polamalu

Jack Butler, An Earthquake And The Bus…

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…Walk into a bar.  The bartender looks up and says, “What is this? A joke?”

Actually, this is serious business.  I get emails.  A long time ago on a site that blows now, I got an email from a guy by the name of John Butler.  The son of former [intlink id=”125″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] cornerback Jack Butler, he created a website to promote his father’s candidacy for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Well, it looks like his hard work has finally paid off as the NFL’s Veteran Committee named Jack Butler one of their two nominees for the HOF.
Read More »Jack Butler, An Earthquake And The Bus…

Steelers Choose Timmons Over Polamalu

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After a two week break in handing out new deals, the [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] returned to form earlier today by announcing linebacker [intlink id=”114″ type=”category”]Lawrence Timmons[/intlink] has agreed to a six year $50 million contract extension.  Timmons, Mike Tomlin’s first ever draft choice, was in the final year of his rookie contract.  A first rounder out of Florida State, LT was the 15th player taken overall, one spot later than superstar cornerback Darrelle Revis.  In fact, the sneaky Jets traded their first, second and fifth round picks that year to cut ahead of the Steelers because they knew we had our vacation plans booked for Revis Island if he was still on the board.

Timmons played sparingly his rookie year, as is usual with Dick LeBeau’s complex defense.  After seeing a gradual increase in playing time in his second year, the Steelers parted ways with veteran Larry Foote paving the way for Timmons to take over one of the starting ILB spots in year number three.  He battled a high ankle sprain and struggled noticeably in run support.  Last year, he finally experienced his break out season, leading the team in tackles while forcing two fumbles and snagging two interceptions.  It is this ability to play all over the field, in a sort of rover role normally reserved for [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]Troy Polamalu[/intlink], which finally made people sit up and take notice of Timmons’ superior athletic ability.
Read More »Steelers Choose Timmons Over Polamalu

One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About

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*Exhale*

The Pittsburgh Steelers reportedly sent representatives to watch Jeanette High School and Ohio State tattoo aficionado [intlink id=”106″ type=”category”]Terrelle Pryor[/intlink]’s pro day last week.  One would think the Steelers would have no use for another QB but Pryor said in pre-draft interviews he would entertain the idea of moving to wide receiver.  Not that the Steelers have any dire need at that position either.  At 6’5 and running a 4.4/40, they’d probably make an exception for the right price.

It became moot a few minutes ago when the Oakland Raiders secured the rights to Pryor for a third round draft pick.  Leave it to the Raiders to overpay by two rounds in the Supplemental Draft.  Then again, he was the fastest quarterback to come out of college in the past three years.  Oh, Grandpa Al, never change.
Read More »One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About

Everybody Loves Rashard

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And [intlink id=”88″ type=”category”]Rashard Mendenhall[/intlink] loves you, too.

The [intlink id=”68″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] have a weird relationship with the media.  The national folks, such as ESPN or Sports Illustrated, always downplay their accomplishments because Pittsburgh isn’t one of the glamor markets which they seem compelled to verbally fellate at every opportunity.  Seriously, the Cowboys were a non-factor last season yet every time you turned on NFL Live, who were they discussing?  In how many Super Bowls must Ben Roethlisberger appear before SI rates him ahead of such luminaries as Philip Rivers or Jay Cutler?

However, where the national media fails to pay the proper respect to the most successful franchise in NFL history, the local media more than picks up the slack.  Reporters, by their nature, tend to suck up to athletes because they need them to do their jobs.  The Pittsburgh media takes this to an extreme.  Whereas the Pirates and the Penguins get plenty of critical comments thrown their way, nary is heard a discouraging word when it comes to the Black and Gold.  If the Steelers are a Mafia, they definitely have the local press in their back pocket.
Read More »Everybody Loves Rashard

Wrenches Thrown Into Steelers’ Plan

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Best.  Twitter.  Avatar.  Ever.

Sorry for being tardy with this update but since the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers [/intlink]mauling of the Dream Team aka Philadelphia Eagles was nationally broadcast last night, I figured it better to do a more news-specific update than a recap of the game.  Speaking of Twitter, twittering during preseason games makes them much more tolerable (and if you’re not following my twitter, well, my legs aren’t as nice as Kym’s but I know a lot more about football).  Especially when you’re forced to listen to the unholy combination of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman.  Adding the greatest Steeler QB of all-time, Terry Bradshaw, to the mix did help a little if only because it’s amusing how discombobulated TB makes Aikman.

Oh and that horrifying NFL on Fox commercial featuring all the announcers in their underwear?   Had to be Joe Buck’s idea.
Read More »Wrenches Thrown Into Steelers’ Plan

Steelers Face Greatest Team Ever Assembled (TM)

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For members of Steeler Nation living outside of Western Pennsylvania, tonight is your first opportunity to see your [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] when they face off against the Philadelphia Eagles on Fox.  Despite the Black and Gold coming off a glorious Super Bowl run, prepare yourself for almost non-stop praise for the Iggles.  Philly, you see, is this year’s Greatest Team Ever Assembled.  On paper.

Sure, they pulled off the biggest move in free agency by signing Nnamdi Asomugha.  Then they traded Kevin Kolb to Arizona for Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.  TWO ALL-PRO CORNERBACKS!  ON THE SAME TEAM!  YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY LOSE WITH THAT 1-2 PUNCH!

Ask the Jets.
Read More »Steelers Face Greatest Team Ever Assembled (TM)