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Bill Cowher

Know Thy Enemy: Cincinnati Bengals

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Misery loves company.

That was Bill Cowher’s famous rallying cry the last time the Pittsburgh Steelers were eliminated from playoff contention with weeks left in their season. The final game of Coach Cowher’s legendary Steelers career came against this week’s same opponent, the Cincinnati Bengals. In that game, the Steelers had nothing to play for but Cincy needed a win in order to qualify for the post season. Thanks to an overtime touchdown pass from Ben Roethlisberger to Santonio Holmes, the Chin walked off the field one final time as a winner.

The Steelers can’t knock the Bungles out of the playoffs on Sunday night. Cincy has the AFC North well in hand with an eye toward maybe even getting one of those first round byes. And the Steelers aren’t technically eliminated from the playoffs, although it would take a nearly miraculous series of events for them to back-door into the Wild Card game. However, it’s still Cincinnati-Pittsburgh so you know both sides are going to play hard.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Cincinnati Bengals

Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

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Some people think the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-4 start was the product of a poorly constructed roster, some lousy coaching, and injuries to key personnel. They would be wrong. The Steelers simply decided to postpone winning until after the Pirates season was over. They were polite enough to give them spotlight.

Good manners are the Steeler Way.

With the Bucs done for the year, the Black and Gold wasted no time getting off the schneid by defeating the New York Jets 19-6. The highlight of this game was Bill Cowher, the greatest coach in Steeler history, in the booth calling the game with the normally unlistenable duo of Nantz and Simms. Not only did CBS make sure to work in a plug for Cowher’s mid-life crisis, er, leather-clad rocker babe, the Chin’s near orgasmic joy with every field goal attempt made an otherwise dull game seem exciting. Read More »Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

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I had planned on posting the video of Antonio Cromartie struggling to remember all of his illegitimate children by way of introduction but then the fine folks at Benstonium had to go and make the above video. I have no idea if they read my blog but I already noted Mike Tomlin‘s overuse of “Obviously” in my semi-brilliant analysis of his weekly press conference. In any event, it’s nice t o know I wasn’t the only one who pays attention to those things – even if I did grossly underestimate how many times he repeated himself.

Go back to your Word of the Day Calendar, Mike!

In football news, the Pittsburgh Steelers face the New York Jets on Sunday. As if the Black and Gold’s quest for their first win of 2013 isn’t exciting enough, CBS is working a gimmick where their obnoxious studio commentators will be working games played by their former teams. That means the greatest head coach in Steelers history, Bill Cowher, will be on hand to point out how badly the team has fallen apart since his departure. Since the game will be in New York, no word on whether he plans on bringing his leather-clad punk rocker girlfriend.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

Steelers Vets Tell Youngsters: No Ping Pong For You!

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To paraphrase Niemöller’s famous quote:

First the Steelers came for the pool table,
and I didn’t speak out because I didn’t play pool.

Then the Steelers came for the shuffleboard,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t seventy years old.

Then the Steelers came for the ping-pong paddles,
and I didn’t speak out because I didn’t play ping-pong.

Then the Steelers came for me,
and there were no games left to play.Read More »Steelers Vets Tell Youngsters: No Ping Pong For You!

Bill Cowher In Mascara And Bondage

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Remember when we thought the image of Bill Cowher – giant fake choppers gleaming, sweat flying off his toupee – maniacally cranking away at the storm siren during the playoff series between the Carolina Hurricanes and Pittsburgh Penguins was possibly the most disturbing thing a Steeler fan would ever see?

Think again.

About a month ago, Cowher was involved in a car accident in New York City. Thankfully nobody was hurt and it was such a non-news story, I never even bothered to mention it. The only notable aspect to the story was the addendum that Cowher had a passenger – a female passenger – with him when the crash occurred.

The Chin has a girlfriend….the Chin has a girlfriend…Read More »Bill Cowher In Mascara And Bondage

Greg Lloyd Hates Roger Goodell Too

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And you thought [intlink id=”52″ type=”category”]James Harrison[/intlink] didn’t like [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink]…

Welcome to F-bomb week here at Total Steelers. The video above comes from the aftermath of the AFC Championship game where the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Indianapolis Colts (and future 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh) to punch a ticket to their first Super Bowl in fifteen years. Yes, that’s [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] you see at the beginning of the clip.  It saddens me when shortsighted Steeler fans try to argue how Mike Tomlin is such a better coach than the Chin “because he’s won two AFC Championship games” as if the two Cowher won (in addition to appearing in four others) somehow don’t count. When Tomlin wins one with a quarterback comparable to Neil Freakin’ O’Donnell, then we’ll talk.

Greg Lloyd was a bad bad man. As the Steel Dynasty of the 70s slowly faded away, the Black and Gold maintained their tradition of superior linebacking into the 80s, most notably Mike Merriwether and David Little. But it wasn’t until Lloyd became a permanent member of the starting line-up in 1989 (not coincidentally, Chuck Noll’s final playoff team) that the Steelers D regained the ferocious reputation the Steel Curtain had originated a decade prior. Harbaugh famously told an interviewer he wasn’t afraid of anything until he played against Greg Lloyd.
Read More »Greg Lloyd Hates Roger Goodell Too

Is The Fix In Against The Steelers On Sunday?

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Does [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] have any clue?  Or does his never-ending quest to screw over the [intlink id=”149″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] trump even the commonest of sense?

This Sunday the Black and Gold face the Seattle Seahawks at Heinz Field.  The official assigned to referree the game is one Bill Leavy.  Yes, the same Bill Leavy who did a perfectly fine job officiating Super Bowl XL betwixt these same two teams. And the same Bill Leavy who last year decided to unburden his tortured soul by apologizing to the Seahawks for doing his job to the best of his abilities in that game.

Quoth the zebra:

It was a tough thing for me. I kicked two calls in the fourth quarter and I impacted the game, and as an official you never want to do that,” said the veteran of 15 NFL seasons and two Super Bowls.

Bill Leavy is clearly a tortured soul.  He “punted” two calls in the Super Bowl! How could he live with himself if he didn’t confess his sins to a bunch of players who weren’t even on that team? And why is the Ginger Dictator so cruel as to make this man relive the worst day of his life?  Does he want a tragedy on his hands?

I hope the NFL has at least been kind enough to book rooms for Leavy and crew on the ground floor of the Pittsburgh Marriott.  Better safe than sorry.
Read More »Is The Fix In Against The Steelers On Sunday?