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Tomlinisms

Colts Fans Dropping The F-Bomb

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Some people never miss an episode of Ice Road Truckers. Others can’t get enough reruns of 2½ Men.  By the way, sorry Ashton Kutcher, you’re good but you’re still no Charlie Sheen.  Me?  I never miss a [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] press conference. Oh, I don’t watch because I’m interested in his injury reports (he constantly lies about those) or his strategy for the Pittsburgh Steelers upcoming opponents (ditto).

I simply watch for the hilarity. From his grand pronouncements (“Unleash Hell!) to his ridiculous Tomlinisms (“The standard is the standard.”) to his bizarre non-sequitors (“We were grape squashers.”), no coach is as thoroughly entertaining as Mike Tomlin. I wish the Steelers sold tickets to his pressers because at least you can be assured of a solid 15-20 minutes of set-ups and punchlines. That’s certainly more than you can say about a Dane Cook concert.
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Mike Tomlin Has No Use For Grapes

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I love [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink].

His place in [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] history is almost irrelevant.  Chuck Noll was the architect of the greatest team the NFL has ever known.  [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] set a standard for excellence almost unrivaled in modern football.  Granted, Tomlin has appeared in one more Super Bowl and has one more Lombardi in about a third of the time it took Cowher to win his first but let’s remember Tomlin was starting from a much better place than either of his predecessors.  Noll inherited a franchise which was the laughingstock of football.  Cowher took control of a team which had made only one playoff appearance in seven years.

Comparatively speaking, Tomlin was given the keys to a Ferrari and simply told not to crash it.  Building a champion is a lot harder than guiding one to another trophy.  The team Tomlin won a Super Bowl with in his second season was for all intents and purposes the same team Cowher won with three years prior.  And the team which has appeared in yet another Super Bowl since then is basically the same squad as the first two.  The true test of Tomlin’s coaching acumen will come as the Hines Wards and Troy Polamalus fade into retirement and he has to retool the team with a new crop of stars.
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Bye Bye Baron Batch

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Maybe the [intlink id=”58″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] should have signed Tiki Barber after all…

Training camp claimed another victim yesterday when this year’s 7th round draft pick, running back Baron Batch, blew out his knee making a cut on the practice field’s artificial turf.  Batch later confirmed on his fantastic blog that it was indeed a torn ACL.  Which is a shame not only because it ends his season but also because now I don’t have any reason to visit his site.  The man has great taste in music.

Batch was one of the shining stars of camp, which is kinda like saying someone is the prettiest girl in Cleveland.  Every year the Steelers beat reporters speak glowingly of some undrafted rookie or unheralded practice squadder who comes in and kicks ass from one sideline to the other.  And then said player invariably ends up spending the entire regular season sitting on the bench or running with the taxi squad.
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Who Wants To Be A Steeler?

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The Pittsburgh Steelers have holes.  Okay, maybe not huge Parkway West size pot holes but they are dangerously thin in terms of depth.  Unfortunately, nobody seems interested in becoming a Steeler.

Former Cincinnati Bengals tight end Reggie Kelly came in for a visit yesterday.  And then left just as quickly as he came.  Over the weekend, wide receiver Jerricho Cotchery also popped in for a quick hello.  He, too, rejoined the ranks of the unemployed shortly thereafter.

Perhaps both players failed to impress the coaching staff.  If that’s the case, then in [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Kevin Colbert [/intlink]We Trust.  However, looking at the Steeler’s depth chart, it sure looks like either man would make a nice addition.  Neither are bold faced superstars but at this point beggars can’t be choosers.
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