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Mike Tomlin Has No Use For Grapes

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I love [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink].

His place in [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] history is almost irrelevant.  Chuck Noll was the architect of the greatest team the NFL has ever known.  [intlink id=”49″ type=”category”]Bill Cowher[/intlink] set a standard for excellence almost unrivaled in modern football.  Granted, Tomlin has appeared in one more Super Bowl and has one more Lombardi in about a third of the time it took Cowher to win his first but let’s remember Tomlin was starting from a much better place than either of his predecessors.  Noll inherited a franchise which was the laughingstock of football.  Cowher took control of a team which had made only one playoff appearance in seven years.

Comparatively speaking, Tomlin was given the keys to a Ferrari and simply told not to crash it.  Building a champion is a lot harder than guiding one to another trophy.  The team Tomlin won a Super Bowl with in his second season was for all intents and purposes the same team Cowher won with three years prior.  And the team which has appeared in yet another Super Bowl since then is basically the same squad as the first two.  The true test of Tomlin’s coaching acumen will come as the Hines Wards and Troy Polamalus fade into retirement and he has to retool the team with a new crop of stars.

Judging by the curb-stomping we saw last Sunday in Baltimore, that day of reckoning may be closer than we think.

Until then, I will revel in the one positive to come out of a miserable performance by the Black and Gold; fresh Tomlinisms.  When the Steelers went into their Super Bowl Hangover in 2009, we got the unforgettable “Unleash Hell!” speech from Tomlin.  After the debacle in Baltimore, we have this new gem.  I’ve heard a lot of hilarious trash talk thanks to NFL Films habit of micing players up but “Grape Squashers” might be the best insult I’ve ever heard.

Granted, the fact I’m Italian and several of my ancestors likely ran around Abruzzi with little purple toes probably makes Tomlin’s analogy fifty times more amusing to me than it actually is.  Nah, it’s friggin’ hilarious no matter what your nationality.  I mean, try to keep a straight face as you imagine walking up to Maurkice Pouncey or James Harrison and yelling, “GRAPE SQUASHERS!”  Although I wouldn’t recommend doing that unless you have a death wish or Obama approved health insurance.

Thank you, Mike Tomlin.  Thank you for taking one of the darkest chapters in Steelers history and giving us a reason to smile.

3 thoughts on “Mike Tomlin Has No Use For Grapes”

  1. “one of the darkest moments in Steeler history”. A little dramatic don’t you think?

    I think your selling MT way, way short as a coach. His record in home AFC championship games alone ought to put to rest the cowher’s team nonsense. It’s not college, you dont recruit. As i recall the troops were fresh off a totally complacent 8-8 when he showed up.

    1. If you can think of a worse opening day performance than the Super Bowl runners up getting absolutely hammered by our most hated rival, feel free to share.

      I’m a Tomlin fan, as I think I made clear. However, last I checked he didn’t put on shoulder pads and play in those AFC championship games so I would credit the players for that record more than him. Cowher had Kordell Stewart and DeWayne Washington. Tomlin has Ben and Troy. A bit of a difference there, yes?

  2. I also loathe when people act like Tomlin “had the same team” when he won the Super Bowl. No he did not! He had a team coming off of an 8-8 season under Cowher, and then went 10-6 and lost the Wild Card in his first season. They were hardly the same team. Faneca, Bettis, Porter, Hope, Randle El were all gone. Tomlin put his own stamp on the team, by drafting Woodley, Timmons and acquiring Ryan Clark via free agency for SB XLIII. He then drafted Hood, Mendenhall, Brown, Wallace, Sanders and Pouncey for SB XLV. How you can say it is “basically the same team” makes zero sense to me. That’s like calling Chuck Noll’s 1984 Steelers “basically the same team” that won four Super Bowls because Stallworth, Shell, Bennie Cunningham, Cole and Webster were still around.

    Also, not for not but it was Cowher who INSISTED on (painfully) keeping Kordell as his primary QB. So to blame Tomlin for not having a Stewart is far from fair. Also, Tomlin is 2-0 in AFC Championships. Cowher was 2-4.

    To me the SB XLV Steelers OVERACHIEVED to even reach the Super Bowl. How many Cowher teams “underachieved” in the Championships? Against SD, both times against NE come to mind for me. I think only Denver were actually the better team to beat them in the Cowher era in ’97. He also almost lost to an inferior Colts team in ’96 in that heart attack ending.

    I love the site, but on this subject I could not disagree further with you.

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