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Know Thy Enemy: Buffalo Bills

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The Pittsburgh Steelers host the Buffalo Bills this weekend at Heinz Field. Feel the excitement!

If you’re going to Sunday’s game, well, I assume this is your first Steelers game because some season ticket holder realized what a dumpster fire the Steelers are and decided to pass his tickets off to you. What you need to know is always wave your Terrible Towel during commercial time-outs to increase your shot of getting on TV. The scoreboard operator will play “Renegade” to fire up the defense at some point during the game so cheer loud. And, for you ladies, please adhere to the NFL’s Clear Purse Policy.

For the rest of us, it’s an epic battle between a 3-6 and a 2-6 team. Maybe the Steelers will win. It certainly wouldn’t be shocking as the Bills aren’t very good. But who cares? Any wins by the Black and Gold just ruin their draft position.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Buffalo Bills

Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

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I knew it was going to be bad. I never thought it was going to be this bad.

This is quickly turning into a historic season for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Historic in all the wrong ways. The Black and Gold came within 23 minutes of setting an NFL record for longest time taken to force a single turnover. Their 0-4 start was their worst in 45 years. And yesterday, their defense gave up the most points in team history.

I repeat, no Steeler team in the franchise’s storied 80 year history has ever surrendered as many points as they did yesterday in their 55-31 loss to the New England Patriots.Read More »Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

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Is it just me or is Bill Belichick enjoying that a little TOO much?

Ah, our old friends the New England Patriots. So much success between the two teams. So much hate between the two fanbases. There are really only two things which keep the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Patriots from being one of the NFL’s great rivalries. First, they don’t play each other with enough regularity – although we certainly seem to see them an awful lot.

And second, the Patriots always win.

As I’ve discussed when talking about the Browns-Steelers rivalry, it’s hard to keep the hate flowing when the rivalry is so one-sided. The Browns have done a good job of pulling off some unexpected upsets in recent years to reignite some of the passion. When it comes to Pats-Steelers, though, it’s hard to get excited about a rival who’s consistently dished out one-sided whuppins.

From the Spygate AFC Championship Game to the 34-13 beatdown Tom Brady dished out after safety Anthony Smith let his mouth write checks his ass couldn’t cash, it’s been one disappointment after another. On Sunday, the reeling Steelers limp into Foxboro to face the first place Patriots on national TV. At this point, we can only pray they aren’t embarrassed.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

Delusional Steelers Think They’re Still Relevant

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Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl XLV Media Availability

By the time you read this, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin will have held his weekly press conference. I’ll gleefully mock his idiocy tomorrow. Until then, we have others joining him in the “WTF is he talking about?” club this week.

I realize football players aren’t smart. The vast majority of them can barely write their own names. And I realize they’re taught early on some simple strategies for dealing with the media. That’s why so many of them repeat the same cliches and the same sound bites over and over again. It’s rare when you find one truly capable of actual insight.Read More »Delusional Steelers Think They’re Still Relevant

Week Eight Recap: Worst. Game. Ever.

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Well, that sucked…

The Pittsburgh Steelers promptly took any optimism gleaned from their modest two game winning streak rolled it into a tiny little ball and tossed it in the trash with a 21-18 loss to the Oakland Raiders. Yesterday’s sloppy mistake-filled game set football back twenty years. There were nine penalties, five turnovers, two missed field goals, numerous dropped passes, and a blocked punt. Oh and let’s not forget four different left guards.Read More »Week Eight Recap: Worst. Game. Ever.

Know Thy Enemy: Oakland Raiders

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The Oakland Raiders.

Forget the Baltimore Ravens. The Browns? Pffft, please. Once upon a time, there was no more hated rival for the Pittsburgh Steelers than the Oakland Raiders. In the 1970s, it was the marquee match-up.

The only other rivalry remotely in the same stratosphere was the Steelers and Cowboys. Ironically, a key part of the Cowboys success was owed to a Pittsburgh area high school legend, Tony Dorsett. Today, another local high school legend, Terrelle Pryor, is attempting to lead the Raiders back into relevance. Can lightning strike twice?

If it does, it will hardly be the first time the Steelers have been snakebit by the Raiders. With Halloween right around the corner, it’s somewhat appropriate we play this week in the Oakland Coliseum, which has been something of a traditional House of Horror for the Black and Gold. Granted the teams don’t face each other regularly but it’s still hard to believe the Steelers haven’t won there since way back in 1995. Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Oakland Raiders

NFL Fans Still Hate Ben Roethlisberger

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The more things change, the more things stay the same.

Forbes recently polled fans in order to find the most disliked NFL players. For the third consecutive year, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger cracked the top five. I’m not going to belabor why Ben is on the list – at this point, the Milledgeville story has been beat to death and I don’t think anybody is going to change their opinion about what happened in that dingy stinky bathroom stall – except to say I truly think today’s Ben is not the same as “Bitches, Take My Shots” Ben.

For one, he settled down with a nice Pittsburgh Girl. He went back to Miami (Ohio) and completed his degree. Finally, he became a father. In fact, Ben and his wife Ashley recently announced they have second child on the way.Read More »NFL Fans Still Hate Ben Roethlisberger

Week 7 Recap: Baby Steps

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I’m not sure we can say the Pittsburgh Steelers are all the way back. But they’re  getting there. Yesterday afternoon, the Steelers took a giant step toward digging out of the 0-4 hole that began their season by pulling off a last second victory over the Baltimore Ravens 19-16.

Last week, the Steelers finally broke out of the turnover slump by picking off Geno Smith twice. This week, they finally found a running game. Rookie Le’Veon Bell just missed his first career 100 yard game (93 yards) as five guys combined to pile up 141 yards of rushing offense. Bell averaged 4.9 yards a rush which was particularly impressive when you consider his longest gainer was only 11 yards.

Speaking of impressive, the running game got on track despite the offensive line suffering yet another setback. Marcus Gilbert was injured early on leading to Guy Whimper taking his place at right tackle. Whimper had been used exclusively at guard since coming here but is a tackle by trade so that’s not a huge shock – that they’d rather insert Whimper into a game than Mike Adams is. Adams did see some action when LT Kelvin Beachum was briefly shaken up but it appears he’s buried deep inside Mike Tomlin‘s non-existent doghouse.Read More »Week 7 Recap: Baby Steps

Know Thy Enemy: Baltimore Ravens

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Defending Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens.

Even typing that sentence sends waves of bile regurgitating up through my throat. There has been some talk that with Hines Ward busy running triathlons and Stabby, er, Ray Lewis offering his insight on how to duck murder raps on ESPN while James Harrison and Ed Reed have moved on to greener NFL pastures, the Baltimore Ravens-Pittsburgh Steelers rivalry has lost a bit of it’s luster. Whether not that’s true, the teams still play in the same division. And as long as they face each other twice a year with victory often being the difference between a playoff berth and a long off-season, the games will continue to hold great significance for both fans and players.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Baltimore Ravens

Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

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Some people think the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-4 start was the product of a poorly constructed roster, some lousy coaching, and injuries to key personnel. They would be wrong. The Steelers simply decided to postpone winning until after the Pirates season was over. They were polite enough to give them spotlight.

Good manners are the Steeler Way.

With the Bucs done for the year, the Black and Gold wasted no time getting off the schneid by defeating the New York Jets 19-6. The highlight of this game was Bill Cowher, the greatest coach in Steeler history, in the booth calling the game with the normally unlistenable duo of Nantz and Simms. Not only did CBS make sure to work in a plug for Cowher’s mid-life crisis, er, leather-clad rocker babe, the Chin’s near orgasmic joy with every field goal attempt made an otherwise dull game seem exciting. Read More »Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over