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Know Thy Enemy: Da Bears

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The Pittsburgh Steelers play their second nation game in as many weeks when they host the Chicago Bears on NBC’s Sunday Night Football.  Da Bears are 2-0 after two razor close wins over the Bungles and Vikings. The Steelers are… Well, no need to rehash the state of misery the Black and Gold have found themselves in after a truly wretched start to the season.

In the past 23 years, only 22 teams that started 0-2 have made the playoffs. During that same time frame, a grand total of 3 have made it after starting 0-3. So as bad as the Steelers have looked the first two games, there could still be hope if they win this week. That’s because after this week their schedule softens considerably – Jets, Bills, Raiders, two games against the Browns, who all but raised a white flag over the Factory of Sadness by trading Trent Richardson on Wednesday – to the point we could look up two months from now and find ourselves 5-5. Then it’s just a matter of getting hot down the stretch.

But for all that to happen, the Steelers must – MUST – beat the Bears.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Da Bears

Big Ben Is “Frustrated” And “Angry”

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Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin had his weekly press conference yesterday in which he described his starting quarterback as being “angry” over the team’s poor performance. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger also spoke about the team’s 0-2 start, first in a post-game interview and later during his weekly appearance on a local radio station where he acknowledged being “frustrated.”

I try not to pick on Ben because nobody ever accused him of being a deep thinker. He’s a tough ‘ol sumbitch who gets the job done through a combination of talent, guts, and sheer moxie. That said, he played particularly poor on Monday Night, throwing the ball erratically on a number of occasions. Granted that is bound to happen to any quarterback after he gets hit so many times it’s impossible to plant his feet and deliver the ball with confidence because you know you’re about to get walloped. Read More »Big Ben Is “Frustrated” And “Angry”

Week 2 Recap: Bungling Their Way To Victory

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“There’s a certain amount of misery with the position that we’re in. We’ll wear it. We don’t like it. We’ll wear it.” – Mike Tomlin

If the Pittsburgh Steelers 20-10 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals was an article of clothing, it’d be a pair of bowling shoes. Stinky ugly bowling shoes. Coach T was gracious about crediting Cincy for playing well during his post-game cliche-fest. All I’ll say is that if the Bengals are the class of the AFC North, then our division has quickly become the Big East of the NFL.

In my game preview, I mentioned this being the year quarterback Andy Dalton needed to take his game to the next level. The Ginger Rifle responded by playing a hideous game. Overthrows, underthrows, missing wide open receivers, Dalton did his best to keep the Steelers in the game. Unfortunately, the Black and Gold were in an even more charitable mood.Read More »Week 2 Recap: Bungling Their Way To Victory

Let’s Watch ESPN Talk About The Steelers

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I avoid ESPN like the plague. I know it’s cliche to hate on the Four Letter but their virtual monopoly on the televised sports world never ceases to depress me. There is no player their hype machine can’t make me sick of, no team their smothering coverage can’t turn me against. If excess were a virtue, that network would be as pious as their man-crush, Tim Tebow.

One particularly irksome trend involves Pittsburgh sports teams. Since we’re a small market, the Four Letter deems us beneath their notice. The Pirates are the story of the year in MLB yet they’d rather put the 30 game out Phillies on Sunday Night Baseball than our Battlin’ Bucs. And hockey, well, even when they owned the rights to the NHL they barely covered hockey.

And then we have the Pittsburgh Steelers. Being one of the NFL’s premier franchises, ESPN couldn’t exactly ignore the Black and Gold like they do our other teams. However, they did certainly tried their best. While the Steelers were going to three Super Bowls in six, all they wanted to talk about was the Dallas Cowboys. It was infuriating but typical ESPN.Read More »Let’s Watch ESPN Talk About The Steelers

Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

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The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered several injuries in their 16-9 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Zoltan Mesko is not listed among the casualties. I’m sure he spent the better part of the evening icing down his foot, though. Poor Zoltan did more punting yesterday than he did all last season for the New England Patriots.

I can safely say the Black and Gold put on the worst display of offensive football I’ve seen in my thirty odd years of yinzer-hood. Worse than when they had a guy named Walter Abercrombie lining up in the backfield. Worse than when they were being quarterbacked by Bubby Brister. Worse than the glory days of Mark Malone.

Words cannot describe how inept the Steelers appeared on offense. When Ben Roethlisberger hit Jerricho Cotchery for the team’s lone touchdown with a minute and a half left in the game, I actually saw people on Twitter posting “Nice of the offense to finally show up.” That’s insane. The offense never showed up yesterday. NEVER.Read More »Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

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Finally, football has returned to Pittsburgh…

After an unusually long off-season following a disappointing 8-8 campaign, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take the field hoping a dubious mix of aging veterans and unproven youngsters will lead them back to the promised land. First up this Sunday is an appointment with the Tennessee Titans at Heinz Field.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

Steelers Name Team Captains

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The Pittsburgh Steelers have elected their team captains for the upcoming season. The four captains are Ben Roethlisberger, Ryan Clark, Brett Keisel, and Maurkice Pouncey. Ben and Pouncer obviously represent the offense while Clark and Keis stand for the D. The Steelers usuallly have a special teams representative but for whatever reason it appears they won’t this season. Perhaps when they play less shitty they’ll be granted a seat at the big boy table. Read More »Steelers Name Team Captains

Steelers Final Preseason Game Tonight (Whew!)

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Tonight, the Pittsburgh Steelers travel down to Charlotte for their annual preseason meeting with the Carolina Panthers. Why do we always play the Panthers, you may ask? Because Panthers owner Jerry Richardson is a card-carrying member of the FOD (Friends of Dan, as in Rooney). So while the Rooneys and the Richardsons sip Mint Juleps and discuss tee times up in the owners box, we get to see the Panthers at least once every year. Yippee.

To make a meaningless game even more meaningless, this is the fourth and final game of the preseason for the Black and Gold. The fourth game is the one where coaches are most careful. Anybody with so much as an ingrown toenail sits out because nobody wants to lose a player one short week away from the regular season. Last year, Mike Tomlin announced half the starting line-up wasn’t even going to be in uniform. As of this writing, Coach T hasn’t said much other than Landry Jones would be seeing the bulk of the playing time.

In other words, feel free to watch the Pittsburgh Pirates unless you’re a degenerate gambler who bet on this game or you really really have a thing for young Landry.Read More »Steelers Final Preseason Game Tonight (Whew!)

Jones Injury Overshadows Steelers Third Preseason Loss

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Pop Quiz: What’s worse than an NFL preseason game?

Answer: An NFL preseason game that goes into overtime.

The Pittsburgh Steelers remained O for the preseason on Saturday, falling to the Kansas City Chiefs 26-20 in overtime. Seriously, overtime? They couldn’t just agree to shake hands and call it a tie? Screw the degenerate gamblers who bet on exhibition games.

While nobody wants to go winless at anything, one ray of sunshine coming out of Saturday’s performance was that it was much improved over the first two debacles. Considering the third preseason game is a dress rehearsal for the regular season with starters playing a full half (or more), that’s obviously a really good thing. The other positive development was that the Steelers emerged from the game more or less unscathed. Read More »Jones Injury Overshadows Steelers Third Preseason Loss

Todd Haley Had Big Ben On Short Leash

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When Jerome Bettis retired after Super Bowl XL, he was immediately snapped up by NBC to be a featured analyst on their flagship Sunday Night Football franchise. The Peacock was so invested in the Bus, they even gave him a bit part in the underrated TV series Chuck in a bid for cross-promotion. Unfortunately, Bettis isn’t an arrogant, self-serving loudmouth like Shannon Sharpe, Keyshawn Johnson, or Rodney Harrison so he quickly found himself unemployed. Because no ex-athlete stays unemployed for long, ESPN recently announced that the Bus was coming aboard the Four Letter to make the occasional appearance on NFL Live and Sportscenter.

The only memorable moment during Bettis’s entire tenure at NBC was revealing that Bill Cowher had also intended to retire following the Pittsburgh Steelers‘ fifth Super Bowl victory. That comment raised a lot of ire amongst the Black and Gold, who like to keep their secrets in-house. Well, looks like the even more secretive Mike Tomlin regime has their very own Edward Snowden to deal with.

Retired quarterback Charlie Batch is working as an analyst on the Steelers’ radio pregame show. And like any good analyst, he decided to reveal state secrets. A couple days ago, Batch revealed that offensive coordinator Todd Haley wouldn’t allow Ben Roethlisberger to call audibles last season.Read More »Todd Haley Had Big Ben On Short Leash