Week 6 Recap: Yo Gobble Gabbert

 Posted by at 3:03 am  Big Ben, Keisel's Beard, LaMarr Woodley, Recaps, Troy Polamalu  Comments Off on Week 6 Recap: Yo Gobble Gabbert
Oct 172011
 

Sometimes you drink the wine and sometimes you stomp the grapes. This week, the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] put on a performance more reminiscent of prune juice. It started off nice and smooth but about an hour and a half later you were left with a queasy feeling that had you praying to the porcelain god that the whole ordeal would soon be over.

The scoreboard says the Black and Gold defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 17-13. The Pessimistic Inner Yinzer says, “Hey yous guys, we was lucky to walk away with a W. Against a halfway decent team, we wouldn’t be so lucky n’at.” Bill Cowher was fond of saying you are what your record says you are while [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin [/intlink]likes to say there are no awards for style points. Well, the win-loss column may say the Steelers are 4-2 but the style of play tells me this is not a 4-2 caliber team.

Picking up from last week’s thumping of the Tennessee Titans, the Steelers dominated on both sides of the ball for the first thirty minutes. The offense racked up 315 yards of total offense while the defense held Jacksonville under 90. [intlink id=”88″ type=”category”]Rashard Mendenhall[/intlink] ran like a spy drone was hot on his tail, ripping off a 68 yarder in route to a 113 yard first half performance. [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] completed 11 passes for 181 yards, highlighted by a 28 yard touchdown to [intlink id=”82″ type=”category”]Mike Wallace[/intlink]. His opposite number, Jacksonville rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert, couldn’t get anything going. He was under constant siege from a ferocious Blitzburgh defense, particularly [intlink id=”70″ type=”category”]LaMarr Woodley[/intlink] and  Brett Keisel, who would finish with two sacks apiece.
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Know Thy Enemy: Jacksonville Jaguars

 Posted by at 9:06 am  Dick LeBeau, Game Preview, Offensive Line, Secondary  Comments Off on Know Thy Enemy: Jacksonville Jaguars
Oct 142011
 

The [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] currently sit at thirteen point favorites over the Jacksonville Jaguars. The last time they were a huge favorite, they put forth a less than inspiring effort against the Seattle Seahawks. Oh how things change one week to the next in the wacky NFL. The team we saw last week is a far cry from the one that sputtered through the first quarter of the season.

However, since reverse psychology worked so well last week…

The Steelers will lose. After last last week’s impressive performance, they’ve grown soft. They’re reading their own press clippings. This has trap game written all over it. Bet the under.
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Mike Tomlin Has No Time For Stupid Questions

 Posted by at 3:36 am  Mike Tomlin, Tomlinisms  Comments Off on Mike Tomlin Has No Time For Stupid Questions
Oct 132011
 

[intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] doesn’t suffer fools lightly.

Unfortunately for Jacksonville, the foolishness isn’t limited to the men who suit up in unsightly teal, black and white every Sunday. Clearly, the reporters who cover the Jaguars fit into a clown car all their own. No wonder that miserable franchise can’t sell out a home game and will likely be packing up their truck and moving to Californ-i-a in the near future.  Provided, of course, that broke-ass state can scrounge up enough pennies to build a halfway decent stadium for them.

Man, what a depressing thought. Trading a backwater third-rate city like Jacksonville for the apathetic cesspool that is Los Angeles. That’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, Aron Ralston style. I wonder if Mr. Ralston followed the lead of intelligent and passionate football fans nationwide and became a full-fledged member of Steeler Nation while attending my alma mater, Carnegie Mellon.

I was not aware of this but evidently every week our head coach participates in a short Q&A with beat writers from the opposition’s city. Which is kinda cool since it affords Tomlin double the opportunity to create new meaningless platitudes and tell boldfaced lies. It’s also a little strange because it sounds like at least two reporters from Jacksonville took part in this week’s conference call. That’s approximately one reporter for every thirty fans who actually attend Jaguar games.

Anyway, this week’s session started exactly as you’d expect; with a reporter asking about the 2007 Wild Card playoffs.  Wait, what? I understand Jacksonville has been completely irrelevant to the NFL since that one miraculous playoff run four years ago. What I don’t understand is what that has to do with the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2011.

Well, Tomlin didn’t see the relevance either. The reporter obviously tried to bait him by asking if he complained to the league about the atrocious officiating which missed three separate and distinct holding calls on David Garrard’s game-winning scramble. Tomlin answered patiently then tried to steer the conversation toward more relevant matters, like things which happened in this decade. Of course, the mouthy reporter kept right on pushing which led to one of the best [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Tomlinisms[/intlink] of all-time:

I understand that might have been a big game in Jacksonville but that’s old news.

Oh snap! You got served, son! Flip on over before you ask your next question because that side has already gotten burned!

Tomlin then added:

Many of those guys are no longer here and definitely many of the guys that were in Jacksonville are no longer there.  Anybody got any questions relative to this week?

Before a reporter could ask another insipid question, Tomlin hung up on them.

Of course, there’s no story the media likes better than one where they are the story.  So, naturally, some hayseed from Jacksonville has already posted an account of the situation on her newspaper’s blog.  Unlike the Post-Gazette, which is hiding this information behind their ridiculous pay wall when you can find it on about five other sites for free (way to go, P-G! Maybe if you hired funny, insightful, interesting writers and columnists who were born after the Kennedy administration instead of desperately clinging on to fossils like Smizik and Collier, people would pony up their ducats to read your rag), at least the Jacksonville blog is free. I suppose it would have to be, what with Florida’s unemployment rate and rampant illiteracy.

Regardless, I bring this information to you, my people, for three reasons. First, you may hear about “mean ‘ol Mike Tomlin” over the next couple days (I’m sure the Ginger Dictator is already looking into fines) because as I said, there’s nothing the media enjoys more than portraying themselves as poor put-upon victims. Second, I hope Steeler Nation realizes how lucky they are to have a team which is successful and competently enough run that we don’t have to sit around wringing our hands over events which happened nearly half a decade ago.

Finally, I posted it because Mike Tomlin is a badass. ‘Nuff said.