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If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas…

The Pittsburgh Steelers laid a mighty whuppin’ on the Cincinnati Bengals, temporarily keeping their slim playoff hopes alive with a 30-20 victory on Sunday Night Football. The final score doesn’t accurately reflect how one-sided this game actually was. The Black and Gold roared out to a 21-0 lead in the first quarter and basically coasted the rest of the way. Meanwhile, Cincy never seemed to get on track, repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot with mistakes or ill-timed penalties. As Cris Collinsworth, a former Bungle, said after one of their players got flagged for taunting down while down 20 points, “Well, it’s the Bengals.” Continue reading »

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Misery loves company.

That was Bill Cowher’s famous rallying cry the last time the Pittsburgh Steelers were eliminated from playoff contention with weeks left in their season. The final game of Coach Cowher’s legendary Steelers career came against this week’s same opponent, the Cincinnati Bengals. In that game, the Steelers had nothing to play for but Cincy needed a win in order to qualify for the post season. Thanks to an overtime touchdown pass from Ben Roethlisberger to Santonio Holmes, the Chin walked off the field one final time as a winner.

The Steelers can’t knock the Bungles out of the playoffs on Sunday night. Cincy has the AFC North well in hand with an eye toward maybe even getting one of those first round byes. And the Steelers aren’t technically eliminated from the playoffs, although it would take a nearly miraculous series of events for them to back-door into the Wild Card game. However, it’s still Cincinnati-Pittsburgh so you know both sides are going to play hard. Continue reading »

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Tomlin smirking tripping

Nearly a week since Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin executed the Two Step Heard ‘Round The World, Steeler Nation has been bracing for the inevitable consequences. Yesterday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell finally deigned to step down from Mount Olympus and pass down punishment for The Blunder. As usual when the Ginger Dictator deals with the Black and Gold, his punishments were both harsh and potentially very damaging. At least he’s consistent.

The first – and least – important part of Ginger’s ruling was a cool $100,000 fine for Tomlin. That may sound like big money to you or I but to a head coach making $5 million, it’s not much different than an average worker getting docked $150. As an aside, can anybody else believe that goof Tomlin gets paid five MILLION dollars to lie his ass off at press conferences and embarrass the franchise on national television? Meanwhile, a truly great head coach like Bill Cowher was sent into retirement because the team didn’t feel he was worth a top salary. Continue reading »

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Back and to the right… Back and to the right…

The controversy over what Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin did or didn’t do in his team’s Thanksgiving night loss to the Baltimore Ravens has reached new levels of absurdity. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. It was a national showcase in front of one of the largest audiences of the year. And with the year winding down and so many sites devoted to NFL coverage, these kind of “stories” are a perfect way to generate hits.

Although at this point, they’ve all but accused Tomlin of hiding on the grassy knoll. Continue reading »

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Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin held his weekly press conference on Tuesday. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I couldn’t get around to mocking him by taking his words out of context until today. I hope you forgive my tardiness.

Coming off a victory over the inept Buffalo Bills, this week’s presser was a much more jovial affair than last week’s contentious effort in the wake of the Patriots debacle. At one point, Coach T even cracked the room up with his own unique brand of unemployment humor! So as always, watch actual footage of the press conference here and return here as I attempt to decipher the undecipherable. Continue reading »

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The Pittsburgh Steelers host the Buffalo Bills this weekend at Heinz Field. Feel the excitement!

If you’re going to Sunday’s game, well, I assume this is your first Steelers game because some season ticket holder realized what a dumpster fire the Steelers are and decided to pass his tickets off to you. What you need to know is always wave your Terrible Towel during commercial time-outs to increase your shot of getting on TV. The scoreboard operator will play “Renegade” to fire up the defense at some point during the game so cheer loud. And, for you ladies, please adhere to the NFL’s Clear Purse Policy.

For the rest of us, it’s an epic battle between a 3-6 and a 2-6 team. Maybe the Steelers will win. It certainly wouldn’t be shocking as the Bills aren’t very good. But who cares? Any wins by the Black and Gold just ruin their draft position. Continue reading »

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Welcome to our weekly recap/analysis of Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin‘s press conference. Things got a bit testy this week as it evidently took the New England Patriots dropping 55 points on our hometown team for the local media to finally show some balls. Not surprisingly, Tomlin responded to any hard questions with his usual bag of condescension and arrogance. The fact he seemingly gets pissed when anybody dares question one of his decisions or statements makes me wonder what he’d do if he coached in a city where the reporters weren’t a bunch of glad-handing cheerleaders ninety percent of the time.

Of course, if he coached in a city with actual reporters, the fact he’s a lousy head coach would’ve been revealed years ago. Anyway, on with this week’s presser which you can watch yourself by clicking here. Continue reading »

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I’ve said it before but it bears repeating – I love Steeler Nation. There’s nothing like wearing a Super Bowl XL Champions t-shirt in Calgary, Canada or Albuquerque, New Mexico and having some complete random stranger walk up to you and say, “Go Stillers!” While I love the Pittsburgh Steelers fanbase, there’s a segment that drives me friggin’ crazy. If you want an example of who I’m talking about, just tune into Pittsburgh sports talk radio and you won’t have to listen for very long.

There’s an old football cliche that the most popular guy in town is the back-up quarterback. That was certainly true here at least until Terry Bradshaw started collecting rings. Since then, we’ve been relatively QB controversy free. Charlie Batch is certainly a more beloved figure locally than Ben Roethlisberger but only the most insane yinzer would’ve suggested starting Batch over (a healthy) Roethlisberger.

When it comes to the Steel City, the cliche should be amended to say, “the most popular guy in town in the previous offensive/defensive coordinator.” Continue reading »

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On the heels of the Pittsburgh Steelers latest disastrous loss, the big story to emerge from the wreckage is the demotion of first round pick Jarvis Jones. It all started during the game where those unfortunate enough to have had to sit through Sunday’s fiasco saw linebackers coach Keith Butler chewing his rookie out on the sideline. Jones did not start on Sunday and at his weekly press conference, Mike Tomlin admitted that Jones has been benched in favor of Jason Worilds. His reasoning being that Jones needs to work on “the details.”

Which is Tomlinspeak for “He don’t know the playbook.” Continue reading »

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JMM TOMLIN 11 03

Welcome to this week’s recap of Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin‘s Tuesday press conference. Before we dig into our bag of goodies like a sugar-addicted kid on Halloween night, I’d like to take a moment to mention that this week I have some company in detailing Tomlin’s ineptness.

The Grantland website features a weekly column by Bill Barnwell entitled, “Thank You For Not Coaching.” which highlights the best and (mostly) the worst of the past weekend’s coaching moves. Not only does the column detail how dumb Tomlin is at making challenges, Coach T also pulls off a rare Daily Double with two of the three Worst Calls Of the Week being his.

Now that we have the plugs out of the way, on with this week’s press conference: Continue reading »

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