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Week 4 Recap: Down And Out In Houston

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The [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] ain’t drinkin’ wine.  They’re still stompin’ grapes.

The Black and Gold shook off a first half grape-stomping by the Houston Texans to make it a game before ultimately falling short 17-10. I feel like a broken record saying this but the final score does not accurately reflect what happened in the game. The Texans had not one but two touchdowns wiped off the scoreboard because of boneheaded penalties. Shaun Suisham’s Miss of the Week was of the blocked variety but Daniael Manning blocked Dan Sepulveda in the back nullifying the TD. Well, despite Dierdorf’s asinine hollering, the Dreamy One did play linebacker at Baylor. Late in the fourth, a pick six was wiped out for roughing [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink].

If not for the Texans self-inflicted wounds and a gallant defensive effort in the second half, this would have been one of the most one-sided ass-whuppins’ in recent memory. I’ve seldom seen the Steelers dominated in all three phases of the game like they were yesterday. Arian Foster had 90 rushing yards in the first quarter. The Texans began the game by driving 114 yards for a touchdown. ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN YARDS. How is this possible? Houston started at their own 5 and took two 10 yard holding penalties along the way.
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Know Thy Enemy: Houston Texans

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I got a bad feeling about this…

The [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] return to the Lone Star State for the first time since last season’s soul-crushing loss in Super Bowl XLV. However, rather than the team who reside at Jerry Jones’ tribute to his minuscule penis, their opponents are the Cowboys’ slacker younger brothers, the Houston Texans. I’m going to level with my dear readers. I’m very very worried about this game. Between the injuries to the offensive line and the shaky secondary, I can’t help feeling like we’re in the Millennium Falcon getting sucked toward the Death Star.

This week, we’re going to do something a bit different in Know Thy Enemy. The aptly named Pat Starr over at the State of the Texans blog kindly agreed to give us the lowdown on his team. After you’re done reading this, click on over to check out my answers to his questions. In the meantime, I’m going to stick to my regular format but insert Pat’s info when appropriate. So text is me, quote block’s are Pat.
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Week 3 Recap: Flirting With Disaster

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Remember last week when I wrote about uninspiring victories…

For those readers too old to stay up late or those who simply could not stomach the carnage, your [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] managed to squeak by the Indianapolis Colts 23-20 on a last second Shaun Suisham field goal last night on NBC Sunday Night Football. I don’t know what’s more impressive, that Suisham made a clutch kick or that the Steelers were able to find eleven guys to put on the field for the attempt. I don’t know how many ice baths they have in Lucas Oil Stadium but I guarantee there won’t be enough. Perhaps everyone will just have to share.

Pity the poor fool who ends up with Chris Kemoeatu.

The Steelers, ten point favorites according to the leg-breakers out in Vegas, should have lost. If not for absolutely inept quarterbacking by the fearsome duo of Kerry Collins and Curtis Painter, they probably would have. This game basically came down to two plays which determined the final outcome. First was Painter’s overthrow of a wide open Pierre Garcon, who ran a simple slant-and-go route which [intlink id=”101″ type=”category”]Ike Taylor[/intlink] inexplicably bailed on after the slant part. Had Painter completed the pass, there was nothing but 75 yards of green grass and high tides forever.
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Sifting Through The Wreckage Of Steeler Victory

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A couple weeks ago, I attended the Pitt Panthers’ “victory” over the vaunted Black Bears of Maine. Oh, I’m not an alumni but when you’ve spent your collegiate years getting hyped for the annual Nerd Bowl between my beloved alma mater, Carnegie Mellon, and their hated rivals from Case Western, you learn to take what you can get. Besides, I like to visit Heinz Field at least once a year and since Steelers tickets are impossible to get, Pitt games are a reasonable alternative. Hearing the fans in attendance shout “High Octane!” as Pitt and their brand new redneck carpetbagger head coach did everything in their power to lose to a Division I-AA school gave new meaning to “losing by winning.”

That is until Sunday.

Truth be told, I struggled writing my recap of the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] decimation of the Seattle Seahawks this past weekend. Which is odd not only because it was a rousing victory, but, as my friends and family will tell gladly tell you with with eyes rolling, I’m never at a loss for words when it comes to talking Stillers. But listening to talk radio today where the topic du jour seemed to be Pitt’s impending defection to the ACC (Pittsburgh moved to the Atlantic coast? Clearly the conference commissioners did not attend CMU) rather than the Steelers game, I realized I was not alone. It’s almost as if Sunday’s game was being treated like a meaningless preseason exhibition rather than a legitimate NFL game.
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Week 2 Recap: Steelers Treat Seattle Like Sapps

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NFL analyst Warren Sapp recently derided the Pittsburgh Steelers saying they were “old, slow, and it’s over.” I wonder if he’ll take the drumstick out of his mouth long enough to retract that statement in the wake of the[intlink id=”21″ type=”category”] Steelers[/intlink] 24-0 drubbing of the Seattle Seahawks.  Much like last week, the final score doesn’t accurately reflect the one-sidedness of the actual game.  The old slow Steelers dominated in every facet, amassing 421 yards to the Pigeons meager 164 while tossing their first complete game shut out since 2008.  Sadly, that’s one more than the Pirates have had this year.

[intlink id=”52″ type=”category”]James Harrison[/intlink], who was nearly invisible last week, played like a man possessed. [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]Troy Polamalu[/intlink], whom Sapp mocked for whiffing on a tackle of Ed Dickson, led the team with 8 tackles including one sack while also defensing one pass which should have gone for a Pick Six.  To give you an idea of how thorough a whupping Dick LeBeau’s men laid on Seattle, the Seahawks didn’t venture into Steeler territory until well into the fourth quarter. Not that the Steelers didn’t display areas where they could still improve. Bryant McFadden did not play, leaving [intlink id=”96″ type=”category”]Will.i.am Gay[/intlink] to offer comfy 5 yard cushions to our guests. It also afforded Keenan Lewis his first extended look against actual NFL competition. Both failed to distinguish themselves, playing loose coverage which would spell disaster against a more capable quarterback.
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Know Thy Enemy: Seattle Seahawks

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The last two times the [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] have gone to the Super Bowl, they failed to make the playoffs the following year.  I’m inclined to give Bill Cowher a pass for 2006 considering his franchise quarterback nearly died during the off-season and was a mere shadow of his former self during the regular season.  There is absolutely no excuse for what happened to [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink]’s squad in 2009, however.  The defending Super Bowl champions featured a nucleus near or in their prime while boasting a roster with no significant changes from the year before.

The most frustrating aspect of the 2009 season wasn’t that the team kept losing, it was who they lost to.  Every week we’d look at the schedule, see an opponent who record-wise and talent-wise didn’t nearly match up with the Steelers, then watch in horror as they’d go out on Sunday and seemingly find a way to lose.  The five game death spiral which tanked the season featured losses to two teams that would go 5-11 and one that would finish 4-12.

Which brings us to this week’s opponent, the Seattle Seahawks.  Yes, technically the Seahawks were a playoff team last year although it’s hard to take that credential seriously when you win your division with a record of 7-9.  They did acquit themselves well in the playoffs, highlighted by Marshawn Lynch going into BEAST MODE against the defending champion Saints.  Regardless, Seattle is clearly not in the Steelers’ league.  If the Black and Gold want to quiet all talk of a “Super Bowl Hangover,” they can start by winning a game they should win.
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Willie Colon: Down And Out

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That was $29 million well spent…

[intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] right tackle [intlink id=”85″ type=”category”]Willie Colon[/intlink] was evidently injured some time during the season opening debacle against Baltimore.  You’ll have to forgive me for failing to mention this in my game recap as the difference between a healthy Colon and an injured one is barely noticeable.  This is a bizarre situation as [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink], in his post-game press conference, did not list Colon as being among the wounded. News of the injury only emerged late Monday evening, when the Steelers’ crack medical staff discovered what is reportedly a torn triceps.

If Colon did indeed suffer a torn triceps, his 2011 season is over.  Man, it sure was great the Steelers made like Pacman at a strip club and rained millions of dollars down upon him the second free agency began.  Not only was re-signing Colon, who missed all of last season after tearing his Achilles in OTAs, their top priority, it led to a domino effect where the entire line was revamped in an effort to accommodate his ridiculously undeserved contract.  Max Starks and Flozell Adams, who formed the finest bookend tandem this team has had in years, were released because the Steelers inexplicably felt Colon was better than either of them.
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Week 1 Recap: Ravens Humiliate Steelers

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Who saw that coming?

The [intlink id=”141″ type=”category”]Baltimore Ravens[/intlink] handed the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers [/intlink]one of the most humiliating defeats in franchise history yesterday afternoon. The final score of 35-7 doesn’t even begin to accurately describe the level of domination the Ratbirds displayed in humbling the defending AFC Champions. This was the team’s first opening day loss since 2003 and their worst opening defeat in 14 years.  The Steelers had seven turnovers, the most in any single game going all the way back to September 24, 1995.

This was the Ravens’ Super Bowl and they played like their season depended on each and every play.  I’m only shocked they didn’t dump Gatorade on their coach when the final whistle blew. Speaking of head coach John Harbaugh, what a shameful display of showboating. Refusing to call off the dogs when the game was comfortably in hand is one thing, fist pumping and acting the fool is absolutely uncalled for. When he dialed up a fake kick/2 point conversion when an extra point would have sufficiently put them ahead by three scores, the message was clear. Then, late in the fourth quarter with the game clearly over, he had Joe Flacco throwing bombs in to the end zone in an obvious effort to run up the score.

I’m not going to complain about that or the thuggish Ravens going after Troy Polamalu and Ike Taylor inciting a near brawl in the third quarter (which somehow ended with only Ike getting a penalty although I’m sure the Ginger Dictator will find some way to fine the entire defense).  The word “class” is associated with Baltimore about as often as Justin Beiber is associated with masculinity. The Ratbirds swagger and boast when the Steelers are dominating them, what should we expect when they actually win for once?
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Know Thy Enemy: Baltimore Ravens

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If ever there was a post which writes itself, this would be it.  The [intlink id=”20″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] versus the [intlink id=”141″ type=”category”]Baltimore Ravens[/intlink].  Really, what more needs be said?  It’s the marquee match-up in the NFL.  Two teams, same division, same hard-hitting style of play.  And what’s more, same level of hatred.

I often talk about the differences between the average fan and the average player.  Fans tend to take things a lot more seriously.  To wit, see my bulletin board material post a few entries down.  Fans (and I consider the media to be fans, especially here in Pittsburgh where they’re basically the team’s unofficial PR department) make a big deal about bulletin board material, I doubt most players worry about what Peter Whippersnapper said in some interview on Tuesday when they’re in the heat of battle on Sunday.

But the Ravens and Steelers truly do not like each other. The heat between the two fanbases is more than matched by the intensity on the field.  I’m sure there is a level of mutual respect but there is also definitely a level of mutual animosity.  The two teams are in each others’ heads.  From the moment Hines Ward waltzed off the ballroom floor with the Mirror Ball Trophy, he’s said his focus has been squarely on the Ravens. For their part, the Ratbirds have become so rattled by the Steelers recent domination of them, they’ve now refused to even utter the word “Steelers.”

Buckle up your chinstraps, folks.  It’s time for World War Armageddon.
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Your 2011 Pittsburgh Steelers

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Hope everybody had a nice Labor Day weekend. Sorry for not updating the past couple days but as the proud grandson of a steelworker, I honor my forefathers by doing nothing more strenuous than throwing brats on the grill, cracking open a PBR and watching fireworks over Labor Day holiday.

While in absentia, the Pittsburgh Steelers finalized the roster which will lead them to legendary glory here in 2011 (and hopefully well in to 2012).  The biggest surprise cut was second year cornerback [intlink id=”96″ type=”category”]Crezdon Butler.[/intlink]  Butler played quite a bit during the preseason, struggling at times but also showing flashes of ability.  The team is thin enough at corner that it’s surprising they’d just give up on a youngster so soon.  It’s slightly reminiscent of last year when Joe Burnett played similarly well yet still failed to make the team.  Then again, Burnett was a final round cut by the New York Giants this season so I guess [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Kevin Colbert[/intlink] knows what he’s doing.
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