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Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

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Some people think the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-4 start was the product of a poorly constructed roster, some lousy coaching, and injuries to key personnel. They would be wrong. The Steelers simply decided to postpone winning until after the Pirates season was over. They were polite enough to give them spotlight.

Good manners are the Steeler Way.

With the Bucs done for the year, the Black and Gold wasted no time getting off the schneid by defeating the New York Jets 19-6. The highlight of this game was Bill Cowher, the greatest coach in Steeler history, in the booth calling the game with the normally unlistenable duo of Nantz and Simms. Not only did CBS make sure to work in a plug for Cowher’s mid-life crisis, er, leather-clad rocker babe, the Chin’s near orgasmic joy with every field goal attempt made an otherwise dull game seem exciting. Read More »Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

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I had planned on posting the video of Antonio Cromartie struggling to remember all of his illegitimate children by way of introduction but then the fine folks at Benstonium had to go and make the above video. I have no idea if they read my blog but I already noted Mike Tomlin‘s overuse of “Obviously” in my semi-brilliant analysis of his weekly press conference. In any event, it’s nice t o know I wasn’t the only one who pays attention to those things – even if I did grossly underestimate how many times he repeated himself.

Go back to your Word of the Day Calendar, Mike!

In football news, the Pittsburgh Steelers face the New York Jets on Sunday. As if the Black and Gold’s quest for their first win of 2013 isn’t exciting enough, CBS is working a gimmick where their obnoxious studio commentators will be working games played by their former teams. That means the greatest head coach in Steelers history, Bill Cowher, will be on hand to point out how badly the team has fallen apart since his departure. Since the game will be in New York, no word on whether he plans on bringing his leather-clad punk rocker girlfriend.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

Steelers Recycle Garbage

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The Pittsburgh Steelers continue to try and remake their fatally flawed roster through cast-offs and dumpster diving. Good luck with that. At this point, it’s growing increasingly obvious the powers-that-be didn’t have a Plan B on top of an already shaky Plan A. What a mess.

Anyway, there was a shuffling of the linebacker position with veteran Kion Wilson being released. The Steelers re-signed Stevenson Sylvester to fill his vacated spot at inside linebacker. Sylvester was a fifth rounder back in 2010 who they hoped would blossom into an eventual starter or quality back-up at ILB but did exactly bupkiss in this three years here. He was one of the final cuts when the team had to get down to the final 53 man roster. He also has a first name for a last name and a last name for a first name which makes me dislike him immediately.Read More »Steelers Recycle Garbage

Tomlin Press Conference: Obviously

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There was no Mike Tomlin press conference last week. Pity, considering how pissed Coach T appeared in the aftermath of the Pittsburgh Steelers loss to the Minnesota Vikings, I’m sure it would’ve been highly entertaining even if the questions are being furnished by the cheerleader local media. With the Penguins starting their season and the Pirates continuing to shock the baseball world, the media treated yesterday’s presser like a typical Pittsburgh sports fan: with stunning apathy.

While the sparsely attended affair wrapped in a tidy 15 minutes, there were still several juicy Tomlin nuggets worthy of note (and mockery). Read on!Read More »Tomlin Press Conference: Obviously

Ryan Clark Thinks Steelers Will Make Playoffs

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The Pittsburgh Steelers had a bye last week. I’m sure most of them put the time to good use, resting some nagging injuries, catching up with their families… Perhaps a few even indulged in their favorite hobbies. For safety Ryan Clark that means finding the nearest video camera and blabbering away.

Clark appeared on his home away from home, ESPN’s First Take, where he had a chance to catch up with his old buddy Skip Bayliss. Of course the first question they asked was about the Black and Gold’s wretched 0-4 start. Not surprisingly, Clark downplayed the team’s woes, maintaining the team would rebound to make the playoffs. Shockingly, Dallas-based Bayliss agreed with him.Read More »Ryan Clark Thinks Steelers Will Make Playoffs

Cam Heyward To Start Ahead of Ziggy

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Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin promised changes after his team’s terrible loss to the Minnesota Vikings in London. As with anything spoken by Tomlin, I operated under the standard assumption if his mouth was moving, he was probably lying. Lo and behold a few days later the team made a trade for left tackle Levi Brown in an effort to bolster that position.

If you thought that was the end of the changes, boy were you wrong. Evidently all it takes is a historically disastrous start for Tomlin to finally mean business.

The offensive line won’t be the only line undergoing change when the Steelers take the field against the Jets. Cam Heyward has been elevated to starting defensive end ahead of fellow first round pick Ziggy Hood. Brett Keisel will continue to start on the opposite side with Steve McClendon manning the middle. Read More »Cam Heyward To Start Ahead of Ziggy

Wheaton Out, Foster Iffy Against Jets

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 Kelvin Beachum, Kendall Reyes

Now that the bye week is over, its time for the Pittsburgh Steelers to turn their attention to this Sunday’s game against the shockingly competitive New York Jets. With no Mike Tomlin press conference last week and a CBA mandated four day break from practice during the bye, there was precious little info out of Steeler camp about those potential line-up changes Tomlin promised. And we all know Tomlin wouldn’t promise something without intending to follow through.

The most change looks to be coming to the team’s beleaguered offense line. It’s amazing to think after blowing two second round picks on Marcus Gilbert and Mike Adams that the team is already resigned to tossing them in the garbage heap but that appears to be where things are headed. The bye may mean newly acquired LT Levi Brown isn’t completely up to speed in time for Sunday although we saw Fernando Velasco walk in off the street and start at center in a week’s time. Word is the Steelers are eager to throw Kelvin Beachum into the starting mix – he’s been sharing first team snaps at LT with Brown – which means he’ll start at LT if Brown isn’t ready or at RT if he is.Read More »Wheaton Out, Foster Iffy Against Jets

Steelers Bid Farewell to L.C. Greenwood

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Pittsburgh Steelers all-time great L.C. Greenwood was laid to rest yesterday at the Pentecostal Temple Church of God in Christ in East Liberty. Mr. Greenwood passed away two Sundays ago at age 67 following complications from back surgery. It is often said the measure of a man is not who he respects but if he is respected by others. By that standard, L.C. Greenwood lived a life well spent.

A who’s who of teammates from the 1970’s Steel Dynasty teams showed up to pay to their final respects. Fellow members of the Steel Curtain Mel Blount and Mean Joe Greene were joined by Steelers Chairman Dan Rooney and current President Art Rooney II. For Mean Joe, this occasion must’ve been particularly bittersweet as he is now the sole surviving member of what is undoubtedly the best defensive line in football history. Ernie “Fats” Holmes died in a car accident back in 2008 with Dwight White passing a few months later, ironically also from back surgery complications. Read More »Steelers Bid Farewell to L.C. Greenwood

Steelers Got A Hole To Dig Out Of

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AFC Standings

Despite the Pittsburgh Steelers historically bad start to the season, there has always been a small sliver of hope that all is not lost. That hope is rooted in two factors. First, the Steelers were gifted with a relatively soft schedule. And second, the AFC North isn’t setting the world on fire.

The bye week giveth and the bye week taketh away.Read More »Steelers Got A Hole To Dig Out Of

Todd Haley’s Wife Loves To Sext

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Chrissy Haley Nude (2)

I suppose this is a step in the right direction…

Over the course of my blogging career, I’ve had occasion to witness some things I’d prefer to permanently scrub from memory. First, there was the groupie website where some chick saw fit to post a pic of Santonio Holmes in the shower, his giant horse dick right there for the world to see. Then there was Milledgeville and the accounts of Ben Roethlisberger‘s “grey penis.” Not to mention the immortal crime scene photos of Big Ben’s baby batter splattered all over the side of a dingy bathroom stall.

Why us? Why can’t the Pittsburgh Steelers have a decent sex scandal? Something like Rob Gronkowski banging a super-hot porn star or a sexy slutty Bengals cheerleader deflowering the luckiest dude in his high school?

Well, ask and we shall receive. Sort of.Read More »Todd Haley’s Wife Loves To Sext