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Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment

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About those preseason games…

Sorry for being tardy with this update but watching the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] final exhibition game last night left me feeling not unlike Alex after undergoing treatment in “A Clockwork Orange.”  The tone was set early when Charlie Batch played two series then spent the rest of the game on the sideline wondering why the Panthers cheerleaders all look like they’re thirty-five years old.  [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] made no effort to disguise this farce, telling reporters afterward that if a player was suffering from anything more serious than a hangnail, they weren’t going to see action.  I feel sorry for the people of Carolina who paid good money to see UFL level action at NFL level prices.

Remember, folks, Roger Goodell is all about listening to the fans.
Read More »Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment

Mike Tomlin Is Wise, Grasshopper

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Remember back during the lockout when [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] had this crazy idea for an 18 game season?  Remember how the Ginger Dictator justified this little slice of insanity by saying, “The fans have told me they hate meaningless football games?” Remember when it was revealed that the scheme would essentially cut the preseason in half with the final two exhibitions becoming regular season contests?  Remember how this idea was met with howls of protest from coaches who said, “I absolutely need four games to determine my rosters and prepare for the season?”

Tonight the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] have their yearly preseason meeting with the Carolina Panthers. In this fourth and final preseason game, which is absolutely crucial remember, head coach [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] has already announced Ben Roethlisberger, Ike Taylor, Jerricho Cotchery, Troy Polamalu, James Farrior, Casey Hampton,  Maurkice Pouncey and Bryant McFadden won’t be playing.  But, hey, you’ll get a full half of [intlink id=”99″ type=”category”]Charlie Batch[/intlink]!  ALL CHAZZ, ALL THE TIME!  IT’S LIKE HITTING THE LOTTO AND SCORING WITH ROONEY MARA IN THE SAME DAY!
Read More »Mike Tomlin Is Wise, Grasshopper

Ben Roethlisburger

Stop Disrespecting Ben Roethlisberger

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Stop the insanity!

I try not to get too worked up over rankings.  The NFL inspires more list making than Santa Claus.  ESPN and SI with their ridiculous weekly power rankings like the NFL is as poorly run as college football. Every columnist and blogger ranking the top ten pulling guards who weigh over 300 pounds or what have you.  It’s never ending and one could go certifiable trying to keep  up with them all.

However, as one of my heroes is fond of saying, “I’ve taken all that I can and cants take no more.” The disrespect shown Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] is astonishing.  Steve Young is in the Hall of Fame with a grand total of one Super Bowl victory. Bret Favre is continually hailed as a Wrangler jeans wearing Football Messiah yet only has two Super Bowl appearances on his resume and one win.  Big Ben has been to three Super Bowls, won two of them, all in a career that is less than half as long (insert penis joke) as the Gunslinger’s.

Stop the insanity!
Read More »Stop Disrespecting Ben Roethlisberger

Ginger Dictator Strikes Again

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Kenny Britt fought the law and Kenny won.

This little nugget almost slipped by me over the weekend.  NFL Commissioner [intlink id=”8″ type=”category”]Roger Goodell[/intlink] announced that players who ran afoul of the law during the lockout will not face disciplinary action for their offenses.  NFLPA executive member Charlie Batch was pleased with by this outcome.  “”How can he?” Batch said. “You locked us out. How can you enforce your personal conduct policy?”

Indeed, Chaz.  How can the Ginger Dictator suspend somebody for something they did while not technically subject to his rules?

Ask Terrelle Pryor.
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Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

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Alright, who didn’t bring their rabbit’s foot?

Before the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] kicked off their third preseason game Saturday night, I threw up a quick note beseeching those making the trek to Heinz Field to bring whatever good luck charms they may hold dear.  I knew the starters were going to see significant playing time.  And I knew that the last thing we needed was one of those starters to get injured in a meaningless exhibition game.  When the game ended with not one, not two, but three significant injuries to key personnel, I knew somebody didn’t listen.

The ugliest injury belonged to back-up quarterback Byron Leftwich, who broke his left arm bracing his fall early in the second half.  The camera didn’t cut directly to [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink] so we can only speculate whether he was sticking pins into his Leftwich voodoo doll at that exact moment.  Seriously, how much luck can one man have?  Dix must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass.
Read More »Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

Bless You, Troy Polamalu

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Finding an honorable football player is akin to finding a virgin in a whorehouse.  By the way, we here at TotalSteelers were saddened to hear about the recent arrest of the Monroeville Madam.  Hopefully she shredded her records from 2009. The story was shocking not because her clientele included “professional athletes” as everybody knows the Pittsburgh Pirates only score when they pay for it.  No, I was surprised to learn her pimp daddy was “Buck” Buczkowski, an ex-NFL lineman who played his college ball at Pitt.

That kind of work seems far better suited to Miami alums.

Getting back on track, I’ve long held the belief that most professional athletes are assholes.  I’m not saying they all are but there is a certain level of arrogance that goes hand in hand with being paid obscene amounts of money and having 35,000 fans cheer your every move on Sunday.  Think back to who were the most arrogant kids in high school.  The jocks, right?  Pro athletes are the jocks magnified by a factor of ten.  And because of that, many have ginormous egos and an overinflated sense of entitlement.
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Jack Butler, An Earthquake And The Bus…

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…Walk into a bar.  The bartender looks up and says, “What is this? A joke?”

Actually, this is serious business.  I get emails.  A long time ago on a site that blows now, I got an email from a guy by the name of John Butler.  The son of former [intlink id=”125″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] cornerback Jack Butler, he created a website to promote his father’s candidacy for the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  Well, it looks like his hard work has finally paid off as the NFL’s Veteran Committee named Jack Butler one of their two nominees for the HOF.
Read More »Jack Butler, An Earthquake And The Bus…

Steelers Choose Timmons Over Polamalu

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After a two week break in handing out new deals, the [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] returned to form earlier today by announcing linebacker [intlink id=”114″ type=”category”]Lawrence Timmons[/intlink] has agreed to a six year $50 million contract extension.  Timmons, Mike Tomlin’s first ever draft choice, was in the final year of his rookie contract.  A first rounder out of Florida State, LT was the 15th player taken overall, one spot later than superstar cornerback Darrelle Revis.  In fact, the sneaky Jets traded their first, second and fifth round picks that year to cut ahead of the Steelers because they knew we had our vacation plans booked for Revis Island if he was still on the board.

Timmons played sparingly his rookie year, as is usual with Dick LeBeau’s complex defense.  After seeing a gradual increase in playing time in his second year, the Steelers parted ways with veteran Larry Foote paving the way for Timmons to take over one of the starting ILB spots in year number three.  He battled a high ankle sprain and struggled noticeably in run support.  Last year, he finally experienced his break out season, leading the team in tackles while forcing two fumbles and snagging two interceptions.  It is this ability to play all over the field, in a sort of rover role normally reserved for [intlink id=”57″ type=”category”]Troy Polamalu[/intlink], which finally made people sit up and take notice of Timmons’ superior athletic ability.
Read More »Steelers Choose Timmons Over Polamalu