Skip to content

Pittsburgh Steelers

Jarvis Jones To Start On Monday Night

  • by

Jarvis+Jones+Pittsburgh+Steelers+Rookie+Camp+MpDRnJgH4uTl

I’ve been hard on the Pittsburgh Steelers the past few days. So today I’ll try my best to be positive. Luckily, there are finally signs of intelligent life emanating from their moronic coaching staff. Oops, does that count as negativity? Anyway, rookie linebacker Jarvis Jones is slated to start at outside linebacker Monday Night against the Bengals.

In my game recap – and I don’t blame anybody for never wanting to relive that rancid dumpster fire – I credited the defense for keeping the team in the game. I also pointed out while they did a good job of limiting damage, they once still aren’t changing the game like the great Steelers defenses of the past. One sack and zero turnovers simply won’t get it done.Read More »Jarvis Jones To Start On Monday Night

Redman To Start Against Bengals

  • by

Back to the Future (1985)

The Pittsburgh Steelers displayed a laughable rushing attack last Sunday against Tennessee. How do they propose to fix this problem? By starting the same guy who shat the bed last Sunday!

Yes, Isaac Redman will start at running back Monday night against the Cincinnati Bengals.

And herein lies one of the big problems with the Steelers. Nobody has talked more than I have about what a bunch of arrogant, lazy, self-serving posers they have on that team. However, nice guys don’t win football games. Talent does.Read More »Redman To Start Against Bengals

Tomlin Press Conference: Candy And Nuts

  • by

NFL: FEB 01 Super Bowl XLIII - Cardinals v Steelers

There’s an old saying: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts every day would be Christmas.

Clearly this is one glib sentiment Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin is not familiar with.

Yesterday was the first weekly lie-fest aka Mike Tomlin press conference. For those new to my blog, allow me to break it down for you. It’s the one day a week Tomlin must go before the local cheerleaders media and answer their questions with cliches, double-speak, and outright lies. The media then takes these asinine answers and reports on them as if they honestly believe the line of BS they’re being fed. Perhaps they do.Read More »Tomlin Press Conference: Candy And Nuts

Suisham Hurt, Shayne Graham New Kicker

  • by

NFL: NOV 21 Raiders at Steelers

In my recap of the Pittsburgh Steelers embarrassing defeat by the Titans, I made a joke about punter Zoltan Mesko being sore. Turns out, I inadvertently spoke some truth. No, he’s not hurt. And, no, he didn’t punt more times in a single game than he did all season. He did punt more times in a single game than he ever has in his career, though.

Considering the state of the Steelers offense, that mark may be in jeopardy next week.

While Zoltan is fine and dandy, his fellow non-football player is not. Lost in the team’s disastrous performance was news that kicker StoneCold Shaun Suisham sprained his hamstring and is expected to be out about a month. And you wonder why I make fun of kickers. Dude made three kicks, THREE KICKS, and got hurt?Read More »Suisham Hurt, Shayne Graham New Kicker

Steelers Re-Sign Dwyer, Add Velasco

  • by

Jonathan+Dwyer+Indianapolis+Colts+v+Pittsburgh+WrTEWV9VRNLl

In the wake of the season-ending injury to running back LaRod Stephens-Howling, I dismissed the notion of the Pittsburgh Steelers re-signing running back Jonathan Dwyer. Yesterday, the Steelers re-signed Jonathan Dwyer.

The reason for my doubt is that the Steelers seem to hate Dwyer. I have no idea why. While other players spent their off-season getting stabbed over trucks or going on drunken rampages down the South Side, Dwyer spent his time losing weight and getting into shape with an eye toward winning the starting running back job. Yet, for whatever reason, the coaches had no intentions of giving him a chance.Read More »Steelers Re-Sign Dwyer, Add Velasco

Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

  • by

BTq2L9eCQAA24YF

The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered several injuries in their 16-9 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Zoltan Mesko is not listed among the casualties. I’m sure he spent the better part of the evening icing down his foot, though. Poor Zoltan did more punting yesterday than he did all last season for the New England Patriots.

I can safely say the Black and Gold put on the worst display of offensive football I’ve seen in my thirty odd years of yinzer-hood. Worse than when they had a guy named Walter Abercrombie lining up in the backfield. Worse than when they were being quarterbacked by Bubby Brister. Worse than the glory days of Mark Malone.

Words cannot describe how inept the Steelers appeared on offense. When Ben Roethlisberger hit Jerricho Cotchery for the team’s lone touchdown with a minute and a half left in the game, I actually saw people on Twitter posting “Nice of the offense to finally show up.” That’s insane. The offense never showed up yesterday. NEVER.Read More »Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

  • by

lolcateea3165fc222db6365c25af9de575860b4fc1cee

Finally, football has returned to Pittsburgh…

After an unusually long off-season following a disappointing 8-8 campaign, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take the field hoping a dubious mix of aging veterans and unproven youngsters will lead them back to the promised land. First up this Sunday is an appointment with the Tennessee Titans at Heinz Field.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Tennessee Titans

Steelers Add Official Band Geeks

  • by

5f686f769b309fed85f8e8f776c2a912_large

A sea of Terrible Towels. Obnoxiously long lines at the gates as security personnel search each bag like they’re afraid Bane might show with a nuclear bomb – Something the NFL has mercifully attempted to fix with their Draconian new purse policy. A chorus of fans chanting “Heeeeath” after pretty much any tight end makes a catch. “Renegade” playing on the scoreboard.

All things which contribute to the experience of attending a Pittsburgh Steelers game at Heinz Field. On the flip side, there are just as many things one doesn’t expect to encounter. Empty seats. Cheerleaders.

Well, starting this Sunday when the Steelers kick off the 2013 season by welcoming the Tennessee Titans to the Big Ketchup Bottle, there will be a new aspect to the game day experience: Band Geeks.Read More »Steelers Add Official Band Geeks

Steelers Name Team Captains

  • by

Pouncey Free Hernandez

The Pittsburgh Steelers have elected their team captains for the upcoming season. The four captains are Ben Roethlisberger, Ryan Clark, Brett Keisel, and Maurkice Pouncey. Ben and Pouncer obviously represent the offense while Clark and Keis stand for the D. The Steelers usuallly have a special teams representative but for whatever reason it appears they won’t this season. Perhaps when they play less shitty they’ll be granted a seat at the big boy table. Read More »Steelers Name Team Captains