Sep 252013
 

NFL: FEB 01 Super Bowl XLIII - Cardinals v Steelers

Welcome to our weekly analysis of the Mike Tomlin press conference. This week, the Pittsburgh Steelers head coach displays a perky demeanor while eschewing his Word Of The Day calendar for some fancy mathematical equations!

So, without further ado, let’s dive right into this week’s Tomlin press conference:

“He [Le’Veon Bell] perked up dramatically at the end of last week”

Coach T evidently confirming reports that Le’veon Bell is actually going to suit up this Sunday against the Vikings. Honesty for a change! How novel!

“He’s a guy always touching balls…”

No, he’s not talking about Ben Roethlisberger. Or even Kordell Stewart.

That quote is in reference to Minnesota DT Kevin Williams, who played under Tomlin way back when he was their defensive coordinator.

“Our quarterback is still being pressured too often and we’re turning the ball over some because of it.”

Some? SOME?

The Steelers have 9 turnovers through three games, with Ben accounting for 4 this past Sunday night. What’s your explanation for all these miscues?

“If you throw the ball 40 times with 5 to 7 guys protecting, if you do the math, that’s over 200 opportunities for people to do their job or not.”

I was told there would be no math!

“All it takes is 5 or 10 of those instances to produce catastrophic like results.”

I wish I could produce 5 catastrophic results every 40 times I did my job.

Is there nothing to be done about our offensive line play, Coach T?

“I met with Ramon Foster, he’s committed to leading that group.”

He met with Ramon Foster! Ramon Foster has taken control! Everybody calm down, Ramon Foster in charge! Nobody cracks the whip like Ramon Foster!

“Pass protection, protecting the quarterback is an eleven man job, including the quarterback.”

Tomlin is basically saying Ben being slow, indecisive, and careless with the football is all on Ben.

SICK BURN.

“When we get to London we’re gonna be on London time, no use trying trick ourselves from that standpoint.”

Tomlin’s response to a reporter actually asking if the Steelers would continue going by Eastern Standard Time while in England instead of switching their watches over to Greenwich Mean Time.

These are the kind of incisive, hard-hitting queries the rabid Pittsburgh media DEMANDS an answer to. And you wonder why I joke about the Steelers having the local reporters in their hip pocket?

“He [Markus Wheaton] actually had a ball thrown to him on 3rd and 9”

A ball. A SINGLE BALL. Wow, that’s really getting Wheaton involved in the offense, there, Coach T.

By the way, it was Wheaton’s first and ONLY target thus far this season. Manny Sanders has been thrown at 30 times while Jerricho Cotchery has had 20 opportunities. Sanders is averaging a piddling 10.4 YPC while Cotch has failed to catch half his passes.

But Markus Wheaton had a ball thrown his way!

“Chicago did a nice job of working not only to tackle him but working to disrupt the ball.”

Working to disrupt the ball = Tomlinspeak for “force a fumble.”

“Our young guys understand very clearly the spirit in which that was handed down.”

Tomlin’s answer to how the youngsters feel about the veterans taking away their toys.

“Obviously we’re experiencing some frustrating times.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“I’m looking forward to watching them [The Pirates] chase the big prize.”

And I’m sure the Pittsburgh Pirates are looking forward to watching the Steelers chase the big prize as well:

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