Oct 282011
 

Free Theodora!

Total Steelers is on Twitter (and if you’re not following me you’re hurting my feelings). I don’t spend all day on it but I do occasionally drop in to make fun of things like the Baltimore Ravens epic fail in Jacksonville. Mostly, I use it to check up on the handful of Pittsburgh Steelers who tweet. Yes, even that annoying blowhard Ryan Clark.

I’ve found most twitter feeds to be spectacularly boring. Many are clearly run by PR people who are using them to promote whatever perfume or charitable cause the celebrity is involved with that week. Those that are run by the actual person tend to be filled with mindless chitchat and re-tweets from starstruck fans. Very few athletes put Twitter to good use, such as using it to hook up with a smokin’ hot (and extremely flexible) porn star.

As I was mocking the Ratbirds in 140 characters or less, I noticed an interesting name in my “Who To Follow” box. Theodora V. Polamalu. Theodora, you may deduce from the last name, is the wife of All-Pro safety Troy Polamalu. I quickly went over to check her feed.

Other than the first tweet being of the PR variety, the rest of her posts were clearly coming directly from her. And what tweets they were. It wasn’t the usual soundbites and politely phrased BS we’ve come to expect. These were opinionated and insightful messages. And many of them were about the Steelers!

She was apparently live-tweeting during last Sunday’s game between the Steelers and Arizona Cardinals.  Let’s see how she evaluated her husband’s play.

I’m dyin’ here! She throws her own husband under the bus! I’d say somebody might be sleeping on the couch tonight but guys don’t roll that way. Especially when your wife is that attractive.

Well, let’s see what she thought about Ben Roethlisberger‘s playcalling abilities. Specifically, when he had the team hurry down the field so he could spike the ball with time ticking down in the first half, only to call a ridiculous draw play to Mewelde Moore.

Potty mouth! Seriously, it was an f’n stupid call as even I mentioned in my game recap. Nice to see Mrs. Troy is such a passionate fan, like you, me and the rest of Steeler Nation. So, what was her final assessment of the team’s performance last week?

Harsh. Truthy. But harsh.

Anyway, since the Pittsburgh media are bigger whores than Bibi Jones, one of those assclowns couldn’t wait to ambush Troy with his wife’s tweets. I’m guessing Troy reacted like most men react when they bring their wife/girlfriend to the company Christmas party and she starts talking to the boss after consuming a half-dozen cups of spiked egg-nog. Troy’s willing to eat a $10,000 fine for calling his wife from the sideline but I guess he draws a line at criticizing his teammates. This morning, Theodora Polamalu’s twitter account disappeared.

I am truly saddened by this turn of events. In a cyber-world full of stuffy self-serving tweets, Mrs. Troy was a breath of fresh air. I enjoyed her analysis. It was far more insightful than anything Jon Gruden has to offer. What’s more, she wasn’t just another athlete’s airhead wife. Her father, Mike Holmes, was a star defensive tackle at the University of Michigan and her brother, Alex Holmes, is a former NFL tight end. She knows her football.

Please, join me in trying to get Theodora back on Twitter. I encourage everybody (particularly you ladies out there) to lobby Troy on behalf of Mrs. Troy. In addition, let’s bring attention to our cause by getting the words “FREE @tvpolamalu” and hashtag #freetvpolamalu to trend.

Free Theodora!

 

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