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Thanks For Showing Up, Bengals

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This past weekend was a bittersweet affair for fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. On Saturday, we had the pleasure of watching the well-rested Kansas City Chiefs piss away a 28 point led like fat schlub Andy Reid pisses away his time outs. Even if KC had managed to win, they wouldn’t have had any players left after losing approximately 29 different players over the course of the game. Gee, it sure was a smart move to bench all your starters that final week of the season, wasn’t it you walrus-faced assclown? When are idiot NFL head coaches going to learn taking a week off NEVER HELPS?

I do have to admit, Andy Reid schadenfreude is the best schadenfreude.

Then on Sunday, Steeler Nation got to sit back and watch their arch-rival Cincinnati Bengals do what they do best in the playoffs: lose. It was a pathetic effort from everybody in a Bungle uniform, particularly that ginger-haired fraud Andy Dalton. Watching the Red Rifle commit three of the Bungles four turnovers and be spectacularly ineffective had to drive Steeler fans mad as they would’ve been our Wild Card opponent had Ryan Succop made one f%&king kick. I do look forward to the day Dalton manages to miraculously string together a couple playoff wins just in time to convince Cincy to grossly overpay his mediocre ass *cough*Flacco*cough*.

As the NFL Playoffs move to the Divisional round next week, the rooting choices continue to be skimpier than an All-U-Can-Eat Buffet after LaMarr Woodley has been through. At this point, I have to throw my support behind the San Diego Chargers or Indianapolis Colts. The Bolts took our playoff spot but through no fault of their own while the Colts are 250% less annoying without Tony Dungy or Peyton Manning. I definitely don’t want to see Pey-Pey’s new team or the New England Patriots in yet another Super Bowl.

Of course, last season we had the Worst Super Bowl Ever between the two most thoroughly unlikeable teams in the NFL. So if the Football Gods hold to form, they’ll torture us again this year. At least for one week, karmic balance was restored. At least for one week, all is right with the football world.