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Week 17 Recap: Best Laid Plans

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Well, that didn’t go according to plan.

On paper, this had the potential to be one of the craziest final weekends in NFL history. No fewer than a half dozen teams had a realistic shot at a playoff berth. All they had to do was win and hope things fell their way. Naturally, almost every single one of those teams lost.

The Pittsburgh Steelers were one of the few that took care of business. Playing their starters the entire game, they battled the Cleveland Browns to a hard fought 13-9 victory. Unfortunately, the gambit didn’t pay off when the Cincinnati Bengals didn’t hold up their end of the bargain, losing to the Baltimore Ravens 24-16. THE RATBIRDS ONLY HAVE ONE GOOD OFFENSIVE PLAYER AND YOU LET HIM RUN FOR 200 YARDS?!?! Thanks to the Jets, Broncos and Raiders also losing, the Bungles were still rewarded for their incompetence by backdooring into the final Wild Card spot.

If the Steelers fail to make noise in this year’s playoffs, this game is going to be the lightning rod for Steeler Nation’s displeasure. By playing his starters the entire game, Mike Tomlin deprived several injured stars, particularly Ben Roethlisberger, of much needed rest. In addition, the team suffered several fresh injuries, most notably to running back Rashard Mendenhall. The preliminary diagnoses is a torn ACL, which would not only end his season but is usually a career-altering injury for a running back. Regardless, Mendy isn’t going to be playing next week.
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Know Thy Enemy: Cleveland Browns

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 In Order To See Awesome Video, The Jagoffs Make You Like Their Facebook Page

Ah, the beauty of the NFL. For all the criticism I level at the game, there’s nothing like the mad playoff scramble which occurs each and every season. As we approach the final week of the 2011 season, the AFC Playoff scenarios have been repeated ad nauseam. The Cincinnati Bengals host the Baltimore Ravens with a playoff spot on the line. If Cincy wins, they’re in.

Then the fun starts. An first round bye? Check. The top seed in the AFC if the Patriots, who will probably pull Tom Terrific rather quickly since he’s nursing a separated non-throwing shoulder, lose to the Bills?  Check.

Of course, the party ends rather quickly if the Pittsburgh Steelers don’t first take care of their business against the Cleveland Browns. The Browns stink. Nothing really more needs be said. But, as Hennessy astutely pointed out yesterday, they seemingly live to be a thorn in the Steelers’ side. Against 30 other teams, they are who we thought they are. Against the Black and Gold, they’re the second coming of the ’86 Bears.

So it’s understandable Mike Tomlin wants all hands on deck this Sunday. Giving credit where credit is due, the Browns don’t lie down for anybody. Unlike the gutless Colts, who decided to wait until week 15 to actually show up, or the hapless St. Louis Rams, who packed it in after missing a chip shot field goal last week, the Browns have been playing hard every week. That doesn’t mean they’re any better than those two teams, it just means you can’t score a touchdown on your opening drive and then assume they’ll wave a white flag.
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Sound-Off: To Ben, Or Not To Ben?

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By Hennessy

Here we go again…

We are coming up on our annual trip to Rust City and the finale to the 2011 regular season.  A few weeks back, the Pittsburgh Steelers clinched at least a Wild Card spot when my local team, the Tennessee Titans, got an early start on their charity and goodwill in Indianapolis. Before taking the field that weekend, Pittsburgh ended up in the playoffs as no worse than the sixth seed in the AFC.

Cleveland, meanwhile, lost any chance at the playoffs when they put on orange helmets and called themselves the Browns back in 2002. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Cleveland’s primary goal every year seems to be to try and ruin our season. The last time they did so was in 2009 when they crushed our playoff hopes with a week 14 win at home. We made amends last year in week 17 but, dammit, why do they keep getting chances at the end of the season?
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Week 16 Recap: Merry Christmas, Charlie Batch!

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I hope everybody had a great Christmas.

The Pittsburgh Steelers surely did. First, the Black and Gold shut out the hapless St. Louis Rams 27-0. About a half an hour later, the New York Giants put the finishing touches on a crucial late-season victory over inter-city rival New York Jets. As satisfying as it is to watch that arrogant blowhard Rex Ryan stick his wife’s foot in his mouth, the G-Men did the Steelers a huge favor. With the Jets’ loss, the Cincinnati Bengals now control their own destiny. Win next week and they’re in the playoffs for only the third time in twenty-five years. And who might they be playing in the season finale?

The Baltimore Ravens.

Of course, everything would be moot if not for a fantastic workman-like effort by the Steelers. Granted the Rams were starting their third string quarterback and are utterly terrible on both sides of the ball but if we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s to never take any opponent lightly. The Steelers, playing with their own back-up quarterback protected by an offensive line in a total shambles, finally mounted a rushing attack that has been absent all year. Rashard Mendenhall had his best game in almost two seasons, piling up 116 yards on 18 carries. The Steelers’ running game was so effective, they dressed three running backs and all three scored a touchdown. Redzone Redman continued his fine season while rookie John Clay, activated from the practice squad due to injuries to Mewelde Moore and Jon Dwyer, gave us a glimpse of what we saw in the preseason, busting a beautiful 10 yard TD run on the first and only carry of his career.
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Know Thy Enemy: St. Louis Rams

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If those guys came to my front door Christmas caroling, I’m not sure if I’d offer them egg nog or hand over my watch. What the hell? Anyway, the Pittsburgh Steelers released their annual video of players singing Christmas Carols and, as usual, they are absolutely must-see. There are four separate clips, each introduced by Mike Tomlin looking the most uncool he’s ever looked in his life. Each position grouping is charged with singing a different holiday classic and I guess the linebackers pictured above decided “Frosty The Snowman” needed more street cred. From left to right, the Gangsta Choir is composed of Chris Carter, James Harrison, Lawrence Timmons, James Farrior, Stevenson Sylvester, Morty Ivy and Larry Foote.

The best part is linebackers coach (and defensive coordinator in waiting) Keith Butler standing in the back looking like a festive Paul Ellering. If you get that reference, plus thirty cool points for you.

Before I get to Knowing this week’s opponent, the St. Louis Rams, a bit of blog housekeeping to clear up. For those out of the loop, the Ginger Dictator Grinch‘s heart must’ve grown three sizes one day because he has decreed this weekend’s games will be played on Saturday so the players can have Christmas off. As I’m off to sunny Tampa to spend the holidays with my folks as soon as I press “Post,” I won’t have the game recap up until Monday. I’m sure most of you have better things to do on Sunday than check in here, anyway. If you’re really desperate to hear my groan-worthy one-liners, you can always follow me on Twitter as I usually tweet during games. I will try to keep the blog up to date with pertinent news next week but my posting schedule may be a bit spotty so please bear with me.
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Sound-Off: Twas The Monday Night Before Christmas…

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(Editor's Note: Not Hennessy. That really is Santa, tho.)

By Hennessy

Christmas will soon be here! The time of year for cheer, happiness, good will towards men…

The time of year when you swim through hordes of over-perfumed or hygiene unfriendly shoppers to spend money on overpriced junk. Let’s not forget my favorite part of the Holiday season, the AIRING OF GRIEVANCES!!

Am I the only one who fumbled my cheer and recovered a pigskin of disappointment?

Last year, my fiancé spent hours locating and framing two poster-sized pictures for me. Be jealous. One print is of the USX Tower under construction in 1968, with my late grandfather-father almost visible as a foreman forging a symbol of the Steel City. The other is of Mike Tomlin, donning Black and Gold gortex as he guides our Pittsburgh Steelers through a playoff win en-route to a Lombardi Trophy in 2008.  My friends “watch” the Steelers with me whenever they have a national game.

Anyway, allow me to air my grievances….
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Week 15 Recap: Not The Steelers Night

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You knew it wasn’t going to be the Pittsburgh Steelers night last night. When the Four Letter came back from commercial to reveal the San Francisco 49ers dilapidated old stadium was bathed in darkness, you knew it wouldn’t be our night. Chris Berman and his gaggle of idiots showing their calm level-headed journalistic skills by repeatedly comparing a blown fuse to both a catastrophic earthquake and 9/11 was almost as torturous as the 20-3 ass-kicking the Niners meted out to the Steelers. Ryan Clark later told the media he felt the blackout was orchestrated by Niners management to illustrate their need for a new stadium.

And people think Steeler fans are paranoid…

Anyway, you knew it wouldn’t be the Steelers night when they took the opening kickoff, drove right down the field, then had the drive end on a Ben Roethlisberger interception. Ben would be intercepted on the Steelers’ next drive, too. He’d add another later in the game and throw in a lost fumble for good measure. I’m not going to criticize Big Ben for playing an absolutely atrocious game (“I was the 49ers best player,” he’d later say) because 29 other quarterbacks wouldn’t have even bothered suiting up last night. He tried to tough it out when it was clear he had absolutely nothing in the tank. It doesn’t take a videotape nerd like Ron Jaworski to see Ben wasn’t stepping into throws leading to the ball sailing all over the place.
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