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Are You Ready For Some (Preseason) Football?

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The [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers [/intlink]kick off their preseason this evening at 7:30 p.m.  We all know preseason football blows but remember a few months ago when the year was in peril?  Consider preseason football better than no football at all.  Or Arena Football.  Although I wouldn’t mind having a Lingerie Football team.

Seriously, whose bright idea was it to open up a beautiful state-of-the-art facility like the Consol Energy Center then make it their first priority to bring Arenaball back to the ‘Burgh?  If Green freakin’ Bay has a Lingerie Football team, why don’t we?  Get on it, Consol bigwigs.  There are some hot Polish chicks down in McKees Rocks that could kick the Pittsburgh Power’s asses up and down the field.

*Ahem*  Sorry for the little detour.  When you’re a team coming off a soul-crushing Super Bowl defeat, the thing about the preseason is there is precious little suspense.  You may hear about so-and-so having a great camp but the bottom line is the coaches pretty much already know who is starting and who is backing them up.  However, there are still a few interesting battles to keep an eye on.
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Steelers Grab Their Cotchery

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The[intlink id=”23″ type=”category”] Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] finally addressed one of their depth concerns by adding veteran wide receiver[intlink id=”81″ type=”category”] Jerricho Cotchery[/intlink].  Not only does this signing add some much needed insurance to the receiving core, it gives me a chance to make up a brand new catchy nickname.  Being a big time wrasslin’ fan, I could go for the obvious Y2J reference.  But until he proves otherwise, I think I’ll stick with paying tribute to his nimble feet and blazing speed by calling him the Cotch Rocket.
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Bye Bye Baron Batch

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Maybe the [intlink id=”58″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] should have signed Tiki Barber after all…

Training camp claimed another victim yesterday when this year’s 7th round draft pick, running back Baron Batch, blew out his knee making a cut on the practice field’s artificial turf.  Batch later confirmed on his fantastic blog that it was indeed a torn ACL.  Which is a shame not only because it ends his season but also because now I don’t have any reason to visit his site.  The man has great taste in music.

Batch was one of the shining stars of camp, which is kinda like saying someone is the prettiest girl in Cleveland.  Every year the Steelers beat reporters speak glowingly of some undrafted rookie or unheralded practice squadder who comes in and kicks ass from one sideline to the other.  And then said player invariably ends up spending the entire regular season sitting on the bench or running with the taxi squad.
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Who Wants To Be A Steeler?

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The Pittsburgh Steelers have holes.  Okay, maybe not huge Parkway West size pot holes but they are dangerously thin in terms of depth.  Unfortunately, nobody seems interested in becoming a Steeler.

Former Cincinnati Bengals tight end Reggie Kelly came in for a visit yesterday.  And then left just as quickly as he came.  Over the weekend, wide receiver Jerricho Cotchery also popped in for a quick hello.  He, too, rejoined the ranks of the unemployed shortly thereafter.

Perhaps both players failed to impress the coaching staff.  If that’s the case, then in [intlink id=”23″ type=”category”]Kevin Colbert [/intlink]We Trust.  However, looking at the Steeler’s depth chart, it sure looks like either man would make a nice addition.  Neither are bold faced superstars but at this point beggars can’t be choosers.
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Remember Limas Sweed?

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A month ago, the Pittsburgh Steelers probably thought the team was pretty much set at wide receiver.  Now it seems like there are nothing but question marks everywhere you look.  [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink] has finally fox-trotted back to practice but he’s coming off his worst season since his rookie year.  And who knows how much gas learning the jitterbug took out of his tank. [intlink id=”81″ type=”category”] Emmanuel Sanders[/intlink] is still hobbling around after having both his feet operated on.  Antonio Brown made some big catches in the playoffs but caught only 18 balls during the regular season.

Who will step up if one or more of those players falter?  Who will be the unexpected hero?

[intlink id=”81″ type=”category”]Remember Limas Sweed?[/intlink]
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LaMarr Woodley Signs Long-Term Deal

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The Pittsburgh Steelers concluded two weeks of nearly constant contract renegotiations by locking linebacker [intlink id=”70″ type=”category”]LaMarr Woodley[/intlink] in to a six year $61.5 million deal.  This is the fifteenth player who was part of last year’s Super Bowl runners-up to either sign a new deal or rework their existing one since the lock out ended.  Thanks, new CBA.  I wonder if the players have realized yet how badly they got hosed.

Anyway, Mister Woodley was by far the biggest fish left to be fried.  The Steelers tagged him as their Franchise player so he wasn’t going anywhere this season.   However, the $10 million salary associated with that designation put an uncomfortably large dent in the cap.  While you math geniuses may notice he’s still making an average of $10 million per season, $22.5 million of his new contract is being doled out as a signing bonus.  As I’ve mentioned before, this is a clever trick teams do to lower the amount per year a contract counts against the cap.
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Steelers Won’t Endorse Goodell’s Dictatorship

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The NFLPA finally ratified the league’s Collective Bargaining Agreement yesterday afternoon, putting an end to almost five months of labor uncertainty.  Despite player rep/noted loudmouth [intlink id=”60″ type=”category”]Ryan Clark[/intlink]’s dire warning, the ten year deal passed by a comfortable margin.

No thanks to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Last year, I repeatedly harped on all the ways Roger Goodell tried (unsuccessfully) to screw over the Black and Gold.  To say he’s not a popular figure amongst Steeler Nation would be like saying Justin Bieber wouldn’t go over well at a Hell’s Angels rally.  However, many times, we as fans, get much more worked up over things than the players themselves do.  Not so in this case as the entire team voted AGAINST the CBA in a show of protest against the[intlink id=”8″ type=”category”] Ginger Dictator.[/intlink]

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Roethlisberger Trial Won’t Change Venue

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The Nevada State Supreme Court has ruled the [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] sexual assault trial will go forward in Reno as originally filed.  Wait, what?  They’re just now figuring out where to HOLD the trial?  I realize the wheels of justice grind slowly but this is ridiculous.

For those who may have forgotten, a Lake Tahoe resort hostess, Andrea McNulty, originally accused Ben of trapping her in his hotel room and raping her way back in 2008.  Considering the implications to the Tahoe case,  it’s understandable they’d put the trial on hold when the mess down in Milledgeville came about.  But that investigation concluded faster than the drunk bimbo could sober up.  What’s the delay?
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Ryan Clark Really Needs To Shut Up

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Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela…

…and[intlink id=”60″ type=”category”] Ryan Clark[/intlink]?

When did the Pittsburgh Steelers’ safety become a champion of the oppressed?  Did I miss a memo?  It seems like every time I turn around, Clark is flapping his gums about this, that, or the other thing.  And it’s getting increasingly annoying.
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