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I Wouldn't Mind Searching Her Bag, Amirite?

Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”

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I Wouldn't Mind Searching Her Bag, Amirite?

No NFL franchise has a stronger fan base than the Pittsburgh Steelers. And no NFL franchise does better with the ladies than do the Pittsburgh Steelers. So for the two or three female members of Steeler Nation who read this blog, consider this post a public service announcement. When the preseason kicks off at Heinz Field on Saturday night or when the season proper begins at home on September 8th, the Steelers and NFL have a message for you: “Leave your crap at home!”Read More »Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”

William Gay Is A Lucky Man [Photos]

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It’s good to be William Gay.

When the season began, was the Pittsburgh Steelers much-maligned nickelback. An injury to starter Bryant McFadden combined with some unexpectedly excellent play earned him a permanent spot in the starting line-up. A couple weeks ago, Gay was the whipping boy on local talk shows for surrendering the game-winning touchdown to the Baltimore Ravens (even though it was loudmouth Ryan Clark who was supposed to provide help over the top and bailed on his assignment). Last week, Gay redeemed himself by almost single-handedly wrecking the Cincinnati Bengals with an interception and a pass deflection which resulted in another pick.

Willie isn’t just ballin’ on the field, he’s rolling large in his personal life as well. Last month, ESPN The Magazine came out with their annual Body Issue. For those who avoid anything stamped with the Four Letter, the Body Issue is their silly attempt to one-up Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. Instead of Brazillian models in skimpy swimwear, ESPN decided to go with a bunch of athletes in softcore jock porn.

Actually, that’s not completely fair. If I were 12 and growing up in the pre-internet era, it’d be salacious but in today’s world the pictures are pretty tame. The females cover up their good bits with hand bras or strategically placed props. The male athletes (yes, they shoot men, too) do their best Austin Powers impersonation. All they really show is the occasional ass, and it’s usually the guys doing the mooning. The story around Pittsburgh is they asked Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury to be the hockey representative but he turned them down. Sorry, ladies.

I don’t think I could take another half-naked Pittsburgh athlete. I’m still recovering from last year’s issue where they featured CASEY HAMPTON? Click on this link, if you dare.

On a far less frightening note, one athlete who did pose in this year’s Body Issue was sprinter Natasha Hastings. Natasha is the current girlfriend of William Gay. In fact, she told a reporter she got his blessing before accepting ESPN’s offer. Anyway, if you want to take a look at Natasha’s ESPN Body Issue photos, click on the rest of this post. Once again, they’re nothing too explicit but you may want to be careful if you’re at work.

Read More »William Gay Is A Lucky Man [Photos]

Troy Polamalu Tells Wife: “No Twitter For You!”

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Free Theodora!

Total Steelers is on Twitter (and if you’re not following me you’re hurting my feelings). I don’t spend all day on it but I do occasionally drop in to make fun of things like the Baltimore Ravens epic fail in Jacksonville. Mostly, I use it to check up on the handful of Pittsburgh Steelers who tweet. Yes, even that annoying blowhard Ryan Clark.

I’ve found most twitter feeds to be spectacularly boring. Many are clearly run by PR people who are using them to promote whatever perfume or charitable cause the celebrity is involved with that week. Those that are run by the actual person tend to be filled with mindless chitchat and re-tweets from starstruck fans. Very few athletes put Twitter to good use, such as using it to hook up with a smokin’ hot (and extremely flexible) porn star.

As I was mocking the Ratbirds in 140 characters or less, I noticed an interesting name in my “Who To Follow” box. Theodora V. Polamalu. Theodora, you may deduce from the last name, is the wife of All-Pro safety Troy Polamalu. I quickly went over to check her feed.

Other than the first tweet being of the PR variety, the rest of her posts were clearly coming directly from her. And what tweets they were. It wasn’t the usual soundbites and politely phrased BS we’ve come to expect. These were opinionated and insightful messages. And many of them were about the Steelers!
Read More »Troy Polamalu Tells Wife: “No Twitter For You!”

Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboy Fans

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Seriously, consider the child’s mental well-being. If your little Dallas Cowboys fan was born in 1996, he’d have witnessed only one playoff victory his entire life. That’s just cruel.

I’m a fan of the [intlink id=”163″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink]. A pretty rabid fan as friends, co-workers and family members will tell you with a heavy sigh. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons I was let go from the Site That Shall Not Be Named was they felt I was frequently too passionate in writing about my team. No wonder they replaced me with a bunch of dull carpetbaggers.

Anyway, while they may have disliked me, they would’ve hated this woman.
Read More »Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboy Fans