Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”

 Posted by at 8:52 am  Ginger Dictator, Hot Steeler Chicks, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Steelers Tell Ladies: “Leave Your Crap At Home”
Aug 092013


I Wouldn't Mind Searching Her Bag, Amirite?

No NFL franchise has a stronger fan base than the Pittsburgh Steelers. And no NFL franchise does better with the ladies than do the Pittsburgh Steelers. So for the two or three female members of Steeler Nation who read this blog, consider this post a public service announcement. When the preseason kicks off at Heinz Field on Saturday night or when the season proper begins at home on September 8th, the Steelers and NFL have a message for you: “Leave your crap at home!” Continue reading »

Steeler Nation Coming Soon To HBO

 Posted by at 11:56 am  Hot Steeler Chicks, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Steeler Nation Coming Soon To HBO
Sep 132012

Pittsburgh native Andy Warhol once predicted that in the future everybody will have their own 15 minutes of fame. Like the cute Pittsburgh Steelers fan pictured above who is getting a lot of press on Steelers blogs after Deadspin ran a story about her drunken antics in Denver. Ordinarily I ignore these things because 90% of Steeler Nation are good peeps, it’s the other 10% which gets posted on blogs or mocked in crappy Kevin Smith movies. However, I figured I’d mention it because it’s a story going around and she is strangely attractive.

Plus, she’s wearing beads and we all know how girls get those beads…

Why doesn’t anybody give some press to the more positive aspects of Steeler Nation? Well, funny you should ask. If you’re a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers and you haven’t gotten your fifteen minutes of fame yet, you just may be in luck.

HBO Sports produces absolutely fantastic programs. Football fans are probably aware of the Hard Knocks reality series. Even though they tend to follow teams that either stink (Chiefs, Dolphins) or are total circuses (Cowboys, Jets), the show never fails to entertain. In the highly secretive world of NFL football, it’s a rare peek behind the curtain.

HBO Sports does a lot more than Hard Knocks, though. They don’t produce as many documentaries as ESPN does with their 30 For 30 series but the handful a year they do are always tremendous. A couple years back they did a fascinating doc on the legendary Vince Lombardi and just last season there was a fantastic program on Beaver Falls’ own Joe Namath. If you were too young and missed football from the AFL/NFL merger through the early 70s, the doc really showed why Namath is a legendary figure to kids who grew up during that time.

HBO Sports newest endeavor is a documentary on NFL Fans. They’re looking for diehard fans from around the nation telling stories of memorable moments, encounters, and experiences as a fan of their team or athlete. Naturally they’re very interested in hearing from the most rabid fan base in the NFL. So if you’re a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers and have a story you think they’d be interested in, you’re encouraged to get in touch with the people casting the documentary.

How might you do this? All your questions will be answered by clicking this link. The flier offers a brief description of what they’re looking for as well as a contact email for you to get in touch with the casting director. So if you’re a diehard member of Steeler Nation with a story to tell (and who among us doesn’t have a story to tell?), get in touch with them ASAP. Get your fifteen minutes and show off your Black and Gold pride while you’re at it. Good luck!

Steeler Nation Gears Up For Regular Season

 Posted by at 6:20 am  Hines Ward, Hot Steeler Chicks, Preseason  Comments Off on Steeler Nation Gears Up For Regular Season
Aug 312012

The NFL already has so many different revenue streams team owners are swimming in pools of money, Scrooge McDuck-style. Not content to stop while they’re ahead, the NFL is constantly trying to branch out into new areas. Having already cornered the market on selling XXXL size t-shirts to every adult male in Cleveland and obscenely priced Bumblebee throwbacks to the colorblind, the NFL is now trying to peddle more merchandise to women. To that end they’ve brought in a bunch of celebrities to be featured in ads aimed at chicks.

Guess who they have modelling Pittsburgh Steelers gear?

Why it’s Hines Ward‘s old partner and Big Ben’s biggest fan, Dancing With The Stars Kym Johnson! Looks like Hines made a pretty big impression on her. Considering she’s Australian, I guess she was free to adopt whatever team she wanted. Between Kym and Russell Crowe, who  appeared on the Steelers’ sideline a couple years back, the Black and Gold seems to be the official team of the Land Down Under.

Speaking of the Steelers, last night was the team’s final preseason game. I only watched about twenty minutes of it which was just enough time to watch Chris Rainey have two punt return TDs called back by penalty. Maybe they should re-hire Al Everest. It was also enough time to see third round pick LB Sean Spence go down with what appeared to be a season-ending injury. People are making a big deal about this but Spence probably wouldn’t have played much this year anyway. The far more important development was Casey Hampton being back in the starting line-up when many thought he wouldn’t be ready for the first month of the season.

The Steelers will have to cut down to their final 53 man roster by tonight. I’m heading out for a short Labor Day vacation so I’ll be back on Tuesday with an analysis of who they cut vs who they kept. In the meantime, enjoy this gallery of the newest (and hottest) member of Steeler Nation. And remember, if you’re a woman and these ads have convinced you to buy a jersey, for the love of Cope don’t buy one of those abominable pink things.

They’re worse than the Bumblebees.

William Gay Is A Lucky Man [Photos]

 Posted by at 12:10 pm  Hot Steeler Chicks, William Gay  Comments Off on William Gay Is A Lucky Man [Photos]
Nov 182011

It’s good to be William Gay.

When the season began, was the Pittsburgh Steelers much-maligned nickelback. An injury to starter Bryant McFadden combined with some unexpectedly excellent play earned him a permanent spot in the starting line-up. A couple weeks ago, Gay was the whipping boy on local talk shows for surrendering the game-winning touchdown to the Baltimore Ravens (even though it was loudmouth Ryan Clark who was supposed to provide help over the top and bailed on his assignment). Last week, Gay redeemed himself by almost single-handedly wrecking the Cincinnati Bengals with an interception and a pass deflection which resulted in another pick.

Willie isn’t just ballin’ on the field, he’s rolling large in his personal life as well. Last month, ESPN The Magazine came out with their annual Body Issue. For those who avoid anything stamped with the Four Letter, the Body Issue is their silly attempt to one-up Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. Instead of Brazillian models in skimpy swimwear, ESPN decided to go with a bunch of athletes in softcore jock porn.

Actually, that’s not completely fair. If I were 12 and growing up in the pre-internet era, it’d be salacious but in today’s world the pictures are pretty tame. The females cover up their good bits with hand bras or strategically placed props. The male athletes (yes, they shoot men, too) do their best Austin Powers impersonation. All they really show is the occasional ass, and it’s usually the guys doing the mooning. The story around Pittsburgh is they asked Pittsburgh Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury to be the hockey representative but he turned them down. Sorry, ladies.

I don’t think I could take another half-naked Pittsburgh athlete. I’m still recovering from last year’s issue where they featured CASEY HAMPTON? Click on this link, if you dare.

On a far less frightening note, one athlete who did pose in this year’s Body Issue was sprinter Natasha Hastings. Natasha is the current girlfriend of William Gay. In fact, she told a reporter she got his blessing before accepting ESPN’s offer. Anyway, if you want to take a look at Natasha’s ESPN Body Issue photos, click on the rest of this post. Once again, they’re nothing too explicit but you may want to be careful if you’re at work.

Continue reading »

Troy Polamalu Tells Wife: “No Twitter For You!”

 Posted by at 3:07 am  Hot Steeler Chicks, Troy Polamalu  Comments Off on Troy Polamalu Tells Wife: “No Twitter For You!”
Oct 282011

Free Theodora!

Total Steelers is on Twitter (and if you’re not following me you’re hurting my feelings). I don’t spend all day on it but I do occasionally drop in to make fun of things like the Baltimore Ravens epic fail in Jacksonville. Mostly, I use it to check up on the handful of Pittsburgh Steelers who tweet. Yes, even that annoying blowhard Ryan Clark.

I’ve found most twitter feeds to be spectacularly boring. Many are clearly run by PR people who are using them to promote whatever perfume or charitable cause the celebrity is involved with that week. Those that are run by the actual person tend to be filled with mindless chitchat and re-tweets from starstruck fans. Very few athletes put Twitter to good use, such as using it to hook up with a smokin’ hot (and extremely flexible) porn star.

As I was mocking the Ratbirds in 140 characters or less, I noticed an interesting name in my “Who To Follow” box. Theodora V. Polamalu. Theodora, you may deduce from the last name, is the wife of All-Pro safety Troy Polamalu. I quickly went over to check her feed.

Other than the first tweet being of the PR variety, the rest of her posts were clearly coming directly from her. And what tweets they were. It wasn’t the usual soundbites and politely phrased BS we’ve come to expect. These were opinionated and insightful messages. And many of them were about the Steelers!
Continue reading »

Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboy Fans

 Posted by at 6:12 am  Hot Steeler Chicks, Steeler Nation  Comments Off on Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboy Fans
Oct 212011

Seriously, consider the child’s mental well-being. If your little Dallas Cowboys fan was born in 1996, he’d have witnessed only one playoff victory his entire life. That’s just cruel.

I’m a fan of the [intlink id=”163″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink]. A pretty rabid fan as friends, co-workers and family members will tell you with a heavy sigh. As a matter of fact, one of the reasons I was let go from the Site That Shall Not Be Named was they felt I was frequently too passionate in writing about my team. No wonder they replaced me with a bunch of dull carpetbaggers.

Anyway, while they may have disliked me, they would’ve hated this woman.
Continue reading »

Ingrid Ullrich Knows How To Represent Steeler Nation [Photos]

 Posted by at 8:00 am  Hot Steeler Chicks  Comments Off on Ingrid Ullrich Knows How To Represent Steeler Nation [Photos]
Oct 012011

Take notes, Kym Johnson.

Welcome to gossip week here at Total Steelers! Yesterday, I wrote about [intlink id=”34″ type=”category”]Hines Ward[/intlink]’s Dancing With The Stars partner Kym Johnson launching an angry diatribe against [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink]. While I appreciate Ms. Johnson representing Steeler Nation in the all important Bubble-headed Bleach Blond demographic, that is no way for a fan to talk about the best quarterback in Pittsburgh Steelers history. You three readers who log in from Down Under should be ashamed of your fellow Aussie.

For an example of how a true Steeler fan behaves, let’s take a look at Ingrid Ullrich. Ingrid is a professional dancer and I’m not talking about the kind with a pole. She graduated Point Park University with a degree in dance and has been performing on cruise ships. In addition, she has a burgeoning modeling career which is about to get catapulted into the stratosphere thanks to her new show on Bravo.

What makes Ingrid an ideal representative for our Nation aren’t her steely blue eyes. Or her toned abs. Or the work she’s done at tight end. No, it’s the fact she’s a lady.

Ingrid was once propositioned by a member of the Steelers at a local bar. In this interview, she talks about the incident, which she says came to a screeching halt when she noticed the player had a baby car seat in the back of his car. Note she doesn’t mention the player by name. That she wouldn’t bang a married dude shows she has class, that she wouldn’t throw him under the bus shows she’s a true Steelers fan.

Enough jibber jabber.  Here are more pics of Ingrid.  Go Steelers.