Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well

 Posted by at 6:22 am  Big Ben, Mike Tomlin, Videos  Comments Off on Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well
Oct 012013

Ben Dixon

While the Pittsburgh Pirates prepare to host their first playoff game in 20 years, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a week off to pick through the wreckage of their disastrous 0-4 start.  With the Steelers on bye, Mike Tomlin is evidently planning to skip his weekly press conference and pick things up next Tuesday. That should give him ample time to take up yoga or Tai Chi or whatever he needs to do to calm his aura. Because if Sunday’s post-game was any indication, Tomlin is currently a bubbling cauldron of rage threatening to erupt at any moment.

For those who missed it, Tomlin’s post-game remarks following the Minnesota game were something to behold. Usually Coach T is too busy drowning in his own BS to exhibit much in the way of emotion. After the Vikings loss, boy did he seem pissed. Welcome to the club, Mike. Continue reading »

Charlie Batch Survives Nuclear Holocaust

 Posted by at 7:12 am  Charlie Batch  Comments Off on Charlie Batch Survives Nuclear Holocaust
Apr 172012

If the Mayans were correct about the world ending, we can all rest easy knowing the only things that will survive are cockroaches, Ookla the Mok, and Charlie Batch.

For those who haven’t heard, the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday signed Chaz to what has to be his tenth one year contract in a row. He’ll go into training camp as an afterthought and he’ll outplay the other quarterbacks they bring in to camp. And he’ll once again serve as Ben Roethlisberger‘s primary back-up because that’s just what he does. Age may have crippled Aaron Smith and age may have laid Hines Ward out but age ain’t nothin’ but a number to Charlie Batch.

What about the team’s other quarterbacking options? Well, Byron Leftwich, who many thought would take Batch’s mantle as best back-up in the NFL, is evidently being courted by the Indianapolis Colts. Their new offensive coordinator, Bruce Arians, evidently believes Lefty will serve as a good teacher for young Andrew Luck while he stands on the sidelines struggling not to hurt himself holding a clip board. Meanwhile, the guy the Steelers wasted a draft pick on, Dennis Dixon, has talked with a handful of teams although he remains unsigned. It’s highly unlikely he’d return here, though, as at the very least he wants to be somebody’s top back-up which isn’t going to happen in Pittsburgh. Considering Mike Tomlin and company were extremely disappointed with his inability to grasp the offense after spending four years studying the playbook, it’s probably best the class dunce heads elsewhere.

This leaves former Heisman Trophy winner and Baltimore Raven Troy Smith as the only other quarterback currently on the roster. While Batch and Smith won’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of opponents should tragedy befall Big Ben, they’re better looking options than Curtis Painter or Tyler Palko. The team could also invest a draft pick in a young quarterback to groom although we saw how well that worked out with Dixon and Brian St. Pierre before him. And, while I’d love for the Black and Gold to shore up their quarterbacking position, they can’t really afford to spend a second or third round pick on a quality QB prospect when the team has so many other holes to fill.

Besides, I’m good with Chaz. Every year people want to write him off and every year he lives to fight another day. Batch put on a brilliant performance against the St. Louis Rams last season and, yeah, it was the Rams but I didn’t see young Dixon out there. Always remember age and guile beats youth, exuberance, and a bad haircut.

Jan 232012

The Pittsburgh Steelers made news over the weekend, both stories involving the quarterback position. Most notably, Ben Roethlisberger quietly settled the Nevada civil lawsuit brought against him by Andrea McNulty. The sexy cowgirl alleged Ben lured her up to his Lake Tahoe hotel room by asking her to fix his television (really? that’s his best line?), then proceeded to sexually assault her. The settlement details are sealed so we’ll probably never know exactly how much a night of hot sex with a crazy bitch cost Big Ben. The story mentions McNulty wanted $380,000 to cover “medical expenses” aka psychiatric help in addition to punitive damages so it’s logical to assume Ben probably agreed to pay her medical bills out of the goodness of his heart (his story) or as an admission of guilt (her’s) to make this thing go away. It’d be colossally naive to think Team McNulty took the case this far only to drop it without compensation.

Now that 98 of Ben’s 99 Problems are gone, look for him to ditch his sham wife in the near future.

In other news, the Steelers signed former Ohio State and Baltimore Ravens quarterback Troy Smith. A 2006 Heisman trophy winner with tOSU, Smith spent 2011 playing for the vaunted Omaha Nighthawks in the United Football League. He started one game, throwing two touchdown passes in a crushing defeat at the hands of the world-renowned Sacramento Mountain Lions. Prior to UFL glory, he spent three years with the Ratbirds, who took him in the 5th round of the ’07 draft. After backing-up Kyle Boller in his first year, he fell victim to a rare bacterial disease in year two, opening the door for rookie Joe Flacco to start. After two years in charge of waxing Bert’s unibrow, Smith moved to San Francisco in 2010 where he started five games and led the Niners to three of their six victories.
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Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment

 Posted by at 2:29 pm  Dennis Dixon, Mike Tomlin, Preseason  Comments Off on Steelers Celebrate Labor Day By Adding To Unemployment
Sep 022011

About those preseason games…

Sorry for being tardy with this update but watching the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] final exhibition game last night left me feeling not unlike Alex after undergoing treatment in “A Clockwork Orange.”  The tone was set early when Charlie Batch played two series then spent the rest of the game on the sideline wondering why the Panthers cheerleaders all look like they’re thirty-five years old.  [intlink id=”45″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin[/intlink] made no effort to disguise this farce, telling reporters afterward that if a player was suffering from anything more serious than a hangnail, they weren’t going to see action.  I feel sorry for the people of Carolina who paid good money to see UFL level action at NFL level prices.

Remember, folks, Roger Goodell is all about listening to the fans.
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Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)

 Posted by at 1:39 am  Dennis Dixon, Maurkice Pouncey, Offensive Line, Preseason, Secondary, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on Dennis Dixon’s Voodoo (And Other Preseason Thoughts)
Aug 292011

Alright, who didn’t bring their rabbit’s foot?

Before the [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] kicked off their third preseason game Saturday night, I threw up a quick note beseeching those making the trek to Heinz Field to bring whatever good luck charms they may hold dear.  I knew the starters were going to see significant playing time.  And I knew that the last thing we needed was one of those starters to get injured in a meaningless exhibition game.  When the game ended with not one, not two, but three significant injuries to key personnel, I knew somebody didn’t listen.

The ugliest injury belonged to back-up quarterback Byron Leftwich, who broke his left arm bracing his fall early in the second half.  The camera didn’t cut directly to [intlink id=”55″ type=”category”]Dennis Dixon[/intlink] so we can only speculate whether he was sticking pins into his Leftwich voodoo doll at that exact moment.  Seriously, how much luck can one man have?  Dix must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass.
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One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About

 Posted by at 11:45 am  Charlie Batch, Dennis Dixon, Roster Moves, Terrelle Pryor  Comments Off on One Less QB For Steelers To Worry About
Aug 222011


The Pittsburgh Steelers reportedly sent representatives to watch Jeanette High School and Ohio State tattoo aficionado [intlink id=”106″ type=”category”]Terrelle Pryor[/intlink]’s pro day last week.  One would think the Steelers would have no use for another QB but Pryor said in pre-draft interviews he would entertain the idea of moving to wide receiver.  Not that the Steelers have any dire need at that position either.  At 6’5 and running a 4.4/40, they’d probably make an exception for the right price.

It became moot a few minutes ago when the Oakland Raiders secured the rights to Pryor for a third round draft pick.  Leave it to the Raiders to overpay by two rounds in the Supplemental Draft.  Then again, he was the fastest quarterback to come out of college in the past three years.  Oh, Grandpa Al, never change.
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Steelers Face Greatest Team Ever Assembled (TM)

 Posted by at 12:56 pm  Charlie Batch, Offensive Line, Preseason, Roster Moves, Secondary, Wide Receivers  Comments Off on Steelers Face Greatest Team Ever Assembled (TM)
Aug 182011

For members of Steeler Nation living outside of Western Pennsylvania, tonight is your first opportunity to see your [intlink id=”19″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] when they face off against the Philadelphia Eagles on Fox.  Despite the Black and Gold coming off a glorious Super Bowl run, prepare yourself for almost non-stop praise for the Iggles.  Philly, you see, is this year’s Greatest Team Ever Assembled.  On paper.

Sure, they pulled off the biggest move in free agency by signing Nnamdi Asomugha.  Then they traded Kevin Kolb to Arizona for Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie.  TWO ALL-PRO CORNERBACKS!  ON THE SAME TEAM!  YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY LOSE WITH THAT 1-2 PUNCH!

Ask the Jets.
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Notes On Steelers First Preseason Debacle

 Posted by at 1:40 pm  Cameron Heyward, Mike Tomlin, Offensive Line, Preseason, Secondary  Comments Off on Notes On Steelers First Preseason Debacle
Aug 132011

Repeat after me:  “It’s only the preseason… It’s only the preseason…”

The[intlink id=”19″ type=”category”] Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] played their first preseason (don’t call them exhibitions!) game last night.  I tapped out shortly before half time but thanks to the magic of DVR, I finished the game a few minutes ago.  Even in fast forward, it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.  To say it was a forgettable performance from the boys in Black and Gold would be an understatement.

“It’s only the preseason… It’s only the preseason…”
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Steelers Alter The Deal, Pray They Don’t Alter It Further

 Posted by at 12:40 am  Big Ben, James Harrison, Roster Moves  Comments Off on Steelers Alter The Deal, Pray They Don’t Alter It Further
Aug 022011

The Pittsburgh Steelers must be in compliance with the 2011 salary cap by Thursday.  As of this morning, they were still approximately $10 million over the target of $120 million plus three $1 million exceptions.  This coupled with a rash of last minute re-signings set off a round of renegotiations with players already under long term contract.

Ben Roethlisberger and James Harrison were the big ticket items who agreed to alter their deals.  Although let’s be clear, neither Big Ben nor Silverback are taking a pay cut.  The Steelers simply employed an accounting trick to help alleviate some of the cap pressure.  Signing bonuses are divided evenly over the term of the contract and that number in addition to the base salary are what count against the cap.  By lowering the annual salary and paying a larger portion of the contract as a signing bonus, you can effectively lower your cap hit without changing the total value of the contract.
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