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Know Thy Enemy: San Francisco 49ers

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Those of you who watched this week’s inaugural edition of Monday Night Football probably had a reaction similar to mine: “Holy shit! We have to play these guys next?”

Yep, we do.

This Sunday the Pittsburgh Steelers host the San Francisco 49ers in the season opener at Heinz Field. The Niners are coming off an utter dismantling of the Vikings on Monday night. The Black and Gold are coming off a frustrating loss to New England. In a unique quirk of the schedules, this is the first time I can recall a team that played on a Thursday – thus getting 10 days rest – will be matched up against a team playing on a short week. What’s more the Niners have a cross-country trip to contend with.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: San Francisco 49ers

Steelers Worth $1.9 Billion

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Ike Taylor and Dan Rooney Swaggin

Wanna buy a football team? Got $1.9 billion laying around? That’s what it’ll set you back to own the Pittsburgh Steelers. And the crazy thing is, that’s for a middle of the pack team according to Forbes Magazine.

Forbes released their annual valuation of NFL franchises and your Steelers came in 13th of the league’s 32 teams in terms of valuation. Dallas, New England and the Racial Slurs were the top three for those wondering. I can see Dallas and Washington because of their fanbases and (in Dallas’s case) their stadium deals but New England? I don’t get that at all. In the 90s, there was an actual fear the Pats were gonna move to St. Louis because half their home games didn’t even meet the league’s idiotic blackout rules. Granted that was in their old stadium but it’s not like football is a sport ingrained in the culture.Read More »Steelers Worth $1.9 Billion

Tomlin Promises Possible Changes (Maybe)

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Yesterday, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin held his first weekly press conference. If you’re new to TotesStillers, let me explain that I have an almost masochistic desire to watch these things. It gives me some perverse joy to listen to his half-truths, non-answers, and (especially after a loss or two) the seething contempt Coach T has for being questioned by the sycophantic Pittsburgh Media. Which is my other joy; listening to what passes as “reporters” in this town lob softball after softball at him because heaven forbid anybody ever criticize the mighty Steelers.

Years past I wrote these long detailed posts following his pressers but it’s too much of a chore both for me to write and you to slog through. So I’m just gonna hit on the highlights. For example, this week’s began with a discussion of Thursday night’s loss at New England. Somebody actually did ask Tomlin about his comical clock management at the end of both halves to which Coach T responded, “I saw no problem with it at all.”Read More »Tomlin Promises Possible Changes (Maybe)

Ravens Lose Suggs, Bengals Crush Raiders…

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…and the Browns are still the Browns.

With the Pittsburgh Steelers idle after playing on Kickoff Thursday, the first Sunday of football season was a good chance to put on Red Zone, agonize over your fantasy team, and do a little scouting of our AFC North opponents. Last year, the once mighty North was a bastion of mediocrity. Record-wise it may have looked impressive in sending three teams to the playoffs with the Steelers taking the division crown with an 11-5  record but that was somewhat misleading. Four other AFC teams finished 9-7 and probably would’ve won ten or eleven games had they enjoyed the soft schedule gifted to the North.Read More »Ravens Lose Suggs, Bengals Crush Raiders…

Week 1 Recap: What’s The Frequency, Belichick ?

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Never change, Patriots.

The Pittsburgh Steelers lost their season opener to the New England Patriots 28-21. I’d like to say something like “the score really wasn’t that close” but the truth is it really was that close. The Steelers didn’t play badly at all – in fact, even their much maligned defense didn’t play all that terribly. They got absolutely abused by Rob Gronkowski (5 catches, 94 yards, 3 TDs) although in all fairness Gronk is a freak of nature that can and will wreck even the best of secondaries given the chance.

Old school Steeler fans aren’t going to like it but the days of the Black and Gold shutting people out are over. The team as presently constructed is going to win by scoring a lot of points on offense while hoping the defense can hold the opponent somewhere around 25 points. If anything, last night’s loss was on the offense. The Steelers squandered at least four golden opportunities to score, costing themselves at very least 14 points.Read More »Week 1 Recap: What’s The Frequency, Belichick ?

Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

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This could get ugly.

For the third time in a decade, the Pittsburgh Steelers will take place in the NFL’s Thursday Night Season Opener. They’re currently 2-0 in these games. To continue their streak, they’re gonna have to pull off a miracle against the defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots. Not only are the Pats their personal Kryptonite – they have yet to beat Tom Brady in Foxboro – but Brady in particular is going to play this game as a giant F-U to the league after the Deflategate debacle.

Pissed off Brady + Steelers inept secondary = Recipe for disaster.  Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

Your 2015 Pittsburgh Steelers

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With the 2015 season kicking off in less than three days, there was no rest for the Pittsburgh Steelers on Labor Day. They made a flurry of roster moves to finalize their 53 man in advance of Thursday’s expected massacre at the hands of the New England Patriots. The most notable of which was placing center Maurkice Pouncey on short term IR meaning he can be activated after week 9 and leaving open the possibility of him returning to the field this year. In the meantime, old friend Doug Legursky was signed as back-up depth at guard/center while Cody Wallace takes over at center.

I apologize for my dire outlook on the upcoming Patriots game but the Steelers had one of the worst defenses in the league last year and apparently have done little to improve it. It’s hard to be optimistic when you’re facing a defending Super Bowl champion who’s gonna come out with a deflated chip on their shoulders.Read More »Your 2015 Pittsburgh Steelers

Brady Suspension Thrown Out (But We Have A Kicker!)

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Can the preseason end now? Please?

The Preseason From Hell continued this afternoon when word came down that a federal court judge threw out Roger Goodell‘s four game suspension of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady for his role in Deflategate. Because of course he did. Did anybody really think Darth Belichick would let his apprentice get punished for his wrongdoing? Never underestimate the power of the Dark Side.

And now the Pittsburgh Steelers will witness the firepower of a fully armed and operational Patriots offense.Read More »Brady Suspension Thrown Out (But We Have A Kicker!)

Martavis Bryant Suspended 4 Games

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Baltimore Ravens v Pittsburgh Steelers

Can this preseason be over? Please?

First Shaun Suisham hurt himself trying to be a football player, then Maurkice Pouncey was lost for the bulk of the season with a broken foot. Finally, Bruce Gradkowski suffered a serious wrist injury which necessitated the signing of Michael Vick, sending a significant part of Steeler Nation into howls – pardon the pun – of protest. Mind you, we haven’t even played a single meaningful game yet. And when we do, we’ll be without our #2 receiver.

Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Martavis Bryant has been suspended 4 games for violation of the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Which for those scoring at home means when the Steelers kick off the season against the Patriots, we’ll be without Le’Veon Bell – suspended 2 games for last year’s pot bust – our Pro Bowl Center and our big play receiver. Not good considering our defense is highly suspect and our best chance for winning was to ride our high-powered offense. Guess we’ll see how good Todd Haley’s system really is.Read More »Martavis Bryant Suspended 4 Games

Michael Vick Signs With Steelers

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Oh boy…

Can we ever have one nice quiet preseason? Just one? Please? Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, Maurkice Pouncey wasn’t the only one to suffer a significant injury in Sunday’s game against Green Bay. Back-up quarterback Bruce Gradkowski left with an undisclosed “wrist injury” which has been disclosed to have required season-ending surgery. Which put the Black and Gold in the market for a quarterback. And they found one, oh boy did they find one.

Michael Vick has signed a one year deal with the Pittsburgh Steelers.Read More »Michael Vick Signs With Steelers