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Mike Tomlin

Terrelle Pryor Didn’t Want To Be A Steeler

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Oakland Raiders quarterback Terrelle Pryor faces the Pittsburgh Steelers this Sunday. For my readers living outside of Pittsburgh, that might not seem like a big deal. To out-of-towners, Pryor is probably familiar primarily for being the most well-known tattoo enthusiast to ever play quarterback at Ohio State. Here in Pittsburgh, he’s something of a high school legend.

Pryor played high school ball for Jeanette, a small suburb southwest of the city. He was really good. How good? The dorks who rank high school football players had him ranked as the #1 prospect in the country back in 2008. Read More »Terrelle Pryor Didn’t Want To Be A Steeler

Mike Tomlin Press Conference: *Mic Drop*

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Welcome to our weekly recap of Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin‘s press conference. Before we begin, something of a minor controversy occurred this week at this normally jovial affair.

As always, the Steelers official website uploaded video of the presser which you can watch by clicking here. If you choose to watch the whole thing instead of reading my much more easily digestible recap, you may notice the video ends rather abruptly. That’s not poor editing by the Steelers geek squad, evidently instead of the normal routine of issuing a last call for questions and thanking the media for their time, Tomlin decided to pull a mic drop.

As you’ll see in my recap, Coach T was perturbed by reporters this week. Which makes me wonder how he’d fare in a city like New York where the media actually question their head coach and aren’t a bunch of pom-pom waving cheerleaders.Read More »Mike Tomlin Press Conference: *Mic Drop*

Tomlin Press Conference: Death Stare

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The wait is over! Rejoice! No, I’m not talking about that long anticipated first victory by the Pittsburgh Steelers. I’m not even talking about our long sought after first turnover of the season.

Of course I’m talking about our hotly anticipated analysis of head coach Mike Tomlin‘s weekly press conference. I have to confess, these things are a lot funner to do after a Steelers loss. Which doesn’t mean I’m rooting for them to lose, even if the team is comprised of a bunch of unlikable asshats. It also doesn’t mean Coach T didn’t provide us with a wealth of hilarious quotes.

So read on…and don’t forget to check out Tomlin’s press conference for yourself:Read More »Tomlin Press Conference: Death Stare

Tomlin Bans Idiotic Celebrations

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Or at least one of them, anyway.

Celebration has been the word of the week in Pittsburgh. No, not celebration that the once dominant Pittsburgh Steelers finally won a game. Rather, celebration in reference to the antics of wide receivers Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders. Of the two, Sanders’ flip dive into the end zone was probably the dumber of the two although in his defense at least his came as a result of scoring a touchdown. AB evidently thinks tying his shoelaces is worthy of a pose and ain’t I great? gesture.

Well, Mike Tomlin is putting his foot down on the latter. In his weekly press conference – I’m crushed at work so my eagerly anticipated weekly recap will be up tomorrow morning – one of the local media cheerleaders actually had the balls to ask him about the team’s excessive celebrations. Tomlin revealed he had banned Sanders style end zone dives from this point forward due to “The potential for injury.” Read More »Tomlin Bans Idiotic Celebrations

Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

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I had planned on posting the video of Antonio Cromartie struggling to remember all of his illegitimate children by way of introduction but then the fine folks at Benstonium had to go and make the above video. I have no idea if they read my blog but I already noted Mike Tomlin‘s overuse of “Obviously” in my semi-brilliant analysis of his weekly press conference. In any event, it’s nice t o know I wasn’t the only one who pays attention to those things – even if I did grossly underestimate how many times he repeated himself.

Go back to your Word of the Day Calendar, Mike!

In football news, the Pittsburgh Steelers face the New York Jets on Sunday. As if the Black and Gold’s quest for their first win of 2013 isn’t exciting enough, CBS is working a gimmick where their obnoxious studio commentators will be working games played by their former teams. That means the greatest head coach in Steelers history, Bill Cowher, will be on hand to point out how badly the team has fallen apart since his departure. Since the game will be in New York, no word on whether he plans on bringing his leather-clad punk rocker girlfriend.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

Tomlin Press Conference: Obviously

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There was no Mike Tomlin press conference last week. Pity, considering how pissed Coach T appeared in the aftermath of the Pittsburgh Steelers loss to the Minnesota Vikings, I’m sure it would’ve been highly entertaining even if the questions are being furnished by the cheerleader local media. With the Penguins starting their season and the Pirates continuing to shock the baseball world, the media treated yesterday’s presser like a typical Pittsburgh sports fan: with stunning apathy.

While the sparsely attended affair wrapped in a tidy 15 minutes, there were still several juicy Tomlin nuggets worthy of note (and mockery). Read on!Read More »Tomlin Press Conference: Obviously

Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well

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While the Pittsburgh Pirates prepare to host their first playoff game in 20 years, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a week off to pick through the wreckage of their disastrous 0-4 start.  With the Steelers on bye, Mike Tomlin is evidently planning to skip his weekly press conference and pick things up next Tuesday. That should give him ample time to take up yoga or Tai Chi or whatever he needs to do to calm his aura. Because if Sunday’s post-game was any indication, Tomlin is currently a bubbling cauldron of rage threatening to erupt at any moment.

For those who missed it, Tomlin’s post-game remarks following the Minnesota game were something to behold. Usually Coach T is too busy drowning in his own BS to exhibit much in the way of emotion. After the Vikings loss, boy did he seem pissed. Welcome to the club, Mike.Read More »Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well

Tomlin Press Conference: No Shit, Sherlock

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Yesterday was Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin‘s weekly liefest/press conference. Since not enough Steeler fans have gotten the message what an jive-talkin’ assclown their coach truly is, I’m stealing a page from the Kissing Suzy Kolber playbook and transcribing Tomlin’s actual words from his weekly press conference so everybody can see what a goof he actually is.

Without further ado, let’s begin with Coach T’s expert analysis on why the Steelers have yet to win a game in 2013:Read More »Tomlin Press Conference: No Shit, Sherlock

Let’s Watch ESPN Talk About The Steelers

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I avoid ESPN like the plague. I know it’s cliche to hate on the Four Letter but their virtual monopoly on the televised sports world never ceases to depress me. There is no player their hype machine can’t make me sick of, no team their smothering coverage can’t turn me against. If excess were a virtue, that network would be as pious as their man-crush, Tim Tebow.

One particularly irksome trend involves Pittsburgh sports teams. Since we’re a small market, the Four Letter deems us beneath their notice. The Pirates are the story of the year in MLB yet they’d rather put the 30 game out Phillies on Sunday Night Baseball than our Battlin’ Bucs. And hockey, well, even when they owned the rights to the NHL they barely covered hockey.

And then we have the Pittsburgh Steelers. Being one of the NFL’s premier franchises, ESPN couldn’t exactly ignore the Black and Gold like they do our other teams. However, they did certainly tried their best. While the Steelers were going to three Super Bowls in six, all they wanted to talk about was the Dallas Cowboys. It was infuriating but typical ESPN.Read More »Let’s Watch ESPN Talk About The Steelers