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Ben Roethlisberger

Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

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I had planned on posting the video of Antonio Cromartie struggling to remember all of his illegitimate children by way of introduction but then the fine folks at Benstonium had to go and make the above video. I have no idea if they read my blog but I already noted Mike Tomlin‘s overuse of “Obviously” in my semi-brilliant analysis of his weekly press conference. In any event, it’s nice t o know I wasn’t the only one who pays attention to those things – even if I did grossly underestimate how many times he repeated himself.

Go back to your Word of the Day Calendar, Mike!

In football news, the Pittsburgh Steelers face the New York Jets on Sunday. As if the Black and Gold’s quest for their first win of 2013 isn’t exciting enough, CBS is working a gimmick where their obnoxious studio commentators will be working games played by their former teams. That means the greatest head coach in Steelers history, Bill Cowher, will be on hand to point out how badly the team has fallen apart since his departure. Since the game will be in New York, no word on whether he plans on bringing his leather-clad punk rocker girlfriend.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New York Jets

Ryan Clark Thinks Steelers Will Make Playoffs

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The Pittsburgh Steelers had a bye last week. I’m sure most of them put the time to good use, resting some nagging injuries, catching up with their families… Perhaps a few even indulged in their favorite hobbies. For safety Ryan Clark that means finding the nearest video camera and blabbering away.

Clark appeared on his home away from home, ESPN’s First Take, where he had a chance to catch up with his old buddy Skip Bayliss. Of course the first question they asked was about the Black and Gold’s wretched 0-4 start. Not surprisingly, Clark downplayed the team’s woes, maintaining the team would rebound to make the playoffs. Shockingly, Dallas-based Bayliss agreed with him.Read More »Ryan Clark Thinks Steelers Will Make Playoffs

Todd Haley’s Wife Loves To Sext

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Chrissy Haley Nude (2)

I suppose this is a step in the right direction…

Over the course of my blogging career, I’ve had occasion to witness some things I’d prefer to permanently scrub from memory. First, there was the groupie website where some chick saw fit to post a pic of Santonio Holmes in the shower, his giant horse dick right there for the world to see. Then there was Milledgeville and the accounts of Ben Roethlisberger‘s “grey penis.” Not to mention the immortal crime scene photos of Big Ben’s baby batter splattered all over the side of a dingy bathroom stall.

Why us? Why can’t the Pittsburgh Steelers have a decent sex scandal? Something like Rob Gronkowski banging a super-hot porn star or a sexy slutty Bengals cheerleader deflowering the luckiest dude in his high school?

Well, ask and we shall receive. Sort of.Read More »Todd Haley’s Wife Loves To Sext

Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well

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Ben Dixon

While the Pittsburgh Pirates prepare to host their first playoff game in 20 years, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a week off to pick through the wreckage of their disastrous 0-4 start.  With the Steelers on bye, Mike Tomlin is evidently planning to skip his weekly press conference and pick things up next Tuesday. That should give him ample time to take up yoga or Tai Chi or whatever he needs to do to calm his aura. Because if Sunday’s post-game was any indication, Tomlin is currently a bubbling cauldron of rage threatening to erupt at any moment.

For those who missed it, Tomlin’s post-game remarks following the Minnesota game were something to behold. Usually Coach T is too busy drowning in his own BS to exhibit much in the way of emotion. After the Vikings loss, boy did he seem pissed. Welcome to the club, Mike.Read More »Steelers Not Handling Adversity Well

Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low

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Big Ben Big Ben

Yesterday could arguably be considered the worst day in Pittsburgh Steelers history. First, news came down that one of the members of the storied Steel Curtain, L.C. Greenwood, had passed away at 67. Shortly thereafter, the Black and Gold blew a golden opportunity to send the game to overtime, falling to the Minnesota Vikings 34-27. The Steelers are now 0-4 for the first time in 45 years, the year before Mr. Greenwood was drafted by a rookie head coach named Chuck Noll.

Mike Tomlin is no Chuck Noll.

In fact, the only way he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the Emperor is to point out it’s become apparent our current Emperor has no clothes. No answers, either, for a season that has tragically spiraled out of control. Every week brings some fresh hell to Steeler Nation. It’s amazing how this team constantly finds new ways to lose. Read More »Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low

Know Thy Enemy: Minnesota Vikings

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steelers standing

There’s a sight rarer than Todd Haley’s El Camino Comet, the Blood Moon, and a solar eclipse all rolled into one. Yes, the Cleveland Browns can say they are ahead of the Pittsburgh Steelers in the standings. In a bit of scheduled irony, the Browns’ victim last Sunday is this week’s opponent for the Black and Gold. Let’s hope for a similar result because I really don’t think I could live with losing to a team that lost to Cleveland.

The Minnesota Vikings are not a particularly good team. Then again, neither are the Steelers since we’re both 0-3. Complicating matters is the game will be played at Wembley Stadium in London, England. Minny has been overseas since Tuesday while Mike Tomlin and crew decided to hop a red-eye last night in order to arrive in London on Friday morning (their time). Hopefully, this is one strategy which pays off.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Minnesota Vikings

Big Ben Wants To Coach Offensive Line Now, Too

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mike-adams-pittsburgh-steelers-stabbed-570x383

Earlier today, I wrote about some unkind words Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had for rookie running back Le’Veon Bell. It looks like the team’s captain isn’t done voicing his opinion. On Tuesday, head coach Mike Tomlin spoke of a meeting he had with guard Ramon Foster where Foster supposedly agreed to step up his leadership role with the young lineman. According to a story on ESPN, it appears Ben wants in on that action, as well.

Truth be told, the offensive line didn’t play all that horribly on Sunday. Their play is still below what you’d expect from a middle first and two second round picks but it isn’t appreciably worse than some of the lines they’ve had in the past. And only the most rabid Roethlisberger apologist would blame them for Ben’s four turnover performance against the Bears.  He was careless with the football, end of story.

Anyway, what pearls of wisdom did Big Ben have for his young line?Read More »Big Ben Wants To Coach Offensive Line Now, Too

Ben Roethlisberger Calls Out Le’Veon Bell

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LeVeon-Bell

The Pittsburgh Steelers have high expectations for running back Le’Veon Bell. They clearly hope they’ve finally found their Next Bus. In the meantime, if they need to find their prized rookie, they’ll need to look underneath a bus. That’s where he’s been tossed by none other than starting quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

On his weekly radio show (which is quickly becoming the source of more hilarity than a Mike Tomlin press conference), Big Ben was asked about Bell’s impending insertion into the starting line-up this Sunday against the Vikings. In the latest example of a Black and Gold team divided, Ben’s response was less enthusiastic. Here’s his full answer:Read More »Ben Roethlisberger Calls Out Le’Veon Bell

Week 3 Recap: Still Winless In 2013

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footballbearsvssteelen7pjq

During the preseason they just didn’t care. Nothing went right in week one. Last Monday, a laughable running game combined with a porous offensive line to spell doom. So whose turn would it be to crap the bed this week?

Ben Roethlisberger, come on down!

The Pittsburgh Steelers remained winless in 2013 – counting preseason – falling to the Chicago Bears 40-23 on Sunday Night Football. On the positive side, the offense finally showed some signs of life. As expected, the return of Heath Miller opened things up in both the running and passing games. Unfortunately, the Black and Gold found yet another way to lose as they’ve become seemingly allergic to success.

When did we become the Cleveland Browns?Read More »Week 3 Recap: Still Winless In 2013