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Troy Polamalu

Week 16 Recap: Die Another Day

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Steelers another day

Talk about living a charmed life. In my preview for yesterday’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers, I ended by wondering what would happen if the Steelers’ slim playoff hopes were already extinguished by kickoff. Well, not only did every single domino fall their way in the early games, the New England Patriots did them a solid by hammering the Baltimore Ravens later in the afternoon. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the Black and Gold are still mathematically alive for the AFC Playoffs.

It’s a Christmas Miracle.

Of course, it would’ve all been moot had the Steelers not taken care of business by defeating the Packers. Their 38-31 victory was a wild affair featuring a little bit of everything: good offense, good defense, weather porn, special teams trickeration, a heart-stopping finish, and crooked referees doing their best to screw Pittsburgh over. It was the football version of a WWE wrestling match. And in the end, the good guys won.Read More »Week 16 Recap: Die Another Day

Know Thy Enemy: Green Bay Packers

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Packers Bikini Girls

When the Pittsburgh Steelers take to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field on Sunday afternoon to face the Green Bay Packers, their slim playoff hopes may have already been dashed. Unless the Dolphins lose to the Bills and the Jets beat the Browns earlier in the day, the last two games of the season will officially be meaningless. Which is probably for the best because a high draft pick is more important to the Steelers future than a pointless Wild Card game anyway. Not that a playoff game is likely with the improbable set of dominoes which must fall in precise order to get the Black and Gold into the post-season.

I tried explaining the AFC’s playoff scenario earlier this week. I’ll try to sum it up again briefly. Basically, Miami’s head to head victory means the Steelers cannot overtake them. However, the rules for breaking a tie between 3 or more teams state that first you match division foes up with each other and eliminate teams until each division is only represented by one team. Then you start the process over again with the remaining teams. That’s why the Jets must win out – if they end the season tied with Miami (and us), they do us the favor of eliminating them by virtue of a better division record just like we do the Ravens.

Like I said, improbable to say the least. Meanwhile, our Super Bowl XLV opponents, the Packers, are in a far less complicated playoff battle of their own. They need this game every bit as much as we do. Although they’ll be going into the game without their biggest gun.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: Green Bay Packers

Week 15 Recap: Well, It’s The Bengals Bungles

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bengalspunter

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas…

The Pittsburgh Steelers laid a mighty whuppin’ on the Cincinnati Bengals, temporarily keeping their slim playoff hopes alive with a 30-20 victory on Sunday Night Football. The final score doesn’t accurately reflect how one-sided this game actually was. The Black and Gold roared out to a 21-0 lead in the first quarter and basically coasted the rest of the way. Meanwhile, Cincy never seemed to get on track, repeatedly shooting themselves in the foot with mistakes or ill-timed penalties. As Cris Collinsworth, a former Bungle, said after one of their players got flagged for taunting down while down 20 points, “Well, it’s the Bengals.”Read More »Week 15 Recap: Well, It’s The Bengals Bungles

Is This The End For Troy Polamalu?

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pol2

I made the mistake of tuning into the Monday Night Football countdown show last night. Usually I do my best to avoid Stabby McStabberson and the rest of the merry pranksters who populate the Four Letter. However, I happened to tune in just in time to hear them discuss the Pittsburgh Steelers season ending loss to the Miami Dolphins. As usual, they only bother discussing the Black and Gold when they have something negative to say.

Anyway, what surprised me was the focus of their discussion. I expected them to touch on Ben Roethlisberger‘s seething hatred of Todd Haley – which was evidently on full display in the locker room after the game – and they did mention it. However, what I didn’t expect was much of their discussion focusing on Pro Bowl safety and future Hall of Famer Troy Polamalu. The goofs on the panel placed a great deal of the blame for the defeat on Troy, even speculating this may be his final season in Pittsburgh.

Which at first seemed absurd but after thinking it over, is this the end of the line for Troy Polamalu?Read More »Is This The End For Troy Polamalu?

Week 12 Recap: Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss

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playoffs

I have no idea how this NFL season is going to end. What I do know is it’ll probably be in the least likely way possible.

In a year full of twists and turns, the latest came Sunday when the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Cleveland Browns 27-11 to officially move into contention for the AFC Playoffs. The graphic above showing the Black and Gold as the second AFC Wild Card team was valid for about three hours yesterday afternoon. That is, until Tennessee beat Oakland to move ahead of us by virtue of a head-to-head victory earlier in the season. Still, the fact the same team that started out 0-4 and got epically blown out by the Patriots a month back is even in the playoff race is utterly insane.

Welcome to the parity-driven, NFL!Read More »Week 12 Recap: Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss

Troy Polamalu Cuts Hair For Veterans

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TROY-POLAMALU-HAIR-INSURED

Here’s a happy story to take a break from all the talk about whether the Pittsburgh Steelers should – or would – trade Ben Roethlisberger. Yesterday was Veteran’s Day. I’m sure many of you knew that because you didn’t have to go to work or school and instead spent the day on your computer searching for porn and not commenting on my blog. Scanning my site stats, I receive a number of hits from overseas so unless there is secretively a sect of Steeler Nation in Saudi Arabia, I can only assume some of you servicemen (and women) log in here from time to time.

Let me join others in (belatedly) thanking you for your service.

One person who went all-out for our veterans yesterday was future Hall of Fame safety Troy Polamalu. When I say “Troy,” I’m sure one of two images spring to mind. First, him launching himself with reckless abandon over the line of scrimmage. And second, his signature flowing mane that’s since become immortalized in a series of Head N’ Shoulders commercials.Read More »Troy Polamalu Cuts Hair For Veterans

Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

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819506517

I knew it was going to be bad. I never thought it was going to be this bad.

This is quickly turning into a historic season for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Historic in all the wrong ways. The Black and Gold came within 23 minutes of setting an NFL record for longest time taken to force a single turnover. Their 0-4 start was their worst in 45 years. And yesterday, their defense gave up the most points in team history.

I repeat, no Steeler team in the franchise’s storied 80 year history has ever surrendered as many points as they did yesterday in their 55-31 loss to the New England Patriots.Read More »Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

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Is it just me or is Bill Belichick enjoying that a little TOO much?

Ah, our old friends the New England Patriots. So much success between the two teams. So much hate between the two fanbases. There are really only two things which keep the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Patriots from being one of the NFL’s great rivalries. First, they don’t play each other with enough regularity – although we certainly seem to see them an awful lot.

And second, the Patriots always win.

As I’ve discussed when talking about the Browns-Steelers rivalry, it’s hard to keep the hate flowing when the rivalry is so one-sided. The Browns have done a good job of pulling off some unexpected upsets in recent years to reignite some of the passion. When it comes to Pats-Steelers, though, it’s hard to get excited about a rival who’s consistently dished out one-sided whuppins.

From the Spygate AFC Championship Game to the 34-13 beatdown Tom Brady dished out after safety Anthony Smith let his mouth write checks his ass couldn’t cash, it’s been one disappointment after another. On Sunday, the reeling Steelers limp into Foxboro to face the first place Patriots on national TV. At this point, we can only pray they aren’t embarrassed.Read More »Know Thy Enemy: New England Patriots

Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

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lolcat73154af41ef7a4f529ade1ebd316385144263a0b

Some people think the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-4 start was the product of a poorly constructed roster, some lousy coaching, and injuries to key personnel. They would be wrong. The Steelers simply decided to postpone winning until after the Pirates season was over. They were polite enough to give them spotlight.

Good manners are the Steeler Way.

With the Bucs done for the year, the Black and Gold wasted no time getting off the schneid by defeating the New York Jets 19-6. The highlight of this game was Bill Cowher, the greatest coach in Steeler history, in the booth calling the game with the normally unlistenable duo of Nantz and Simms. Not only did CBS make sure to work in a plug for Cowher’s mid-life crisis, er, leather-clad rocker babe, the Chin’s near orgasmic joy with every field goal attempt made an otherwise dull game seem exciting. Read More »Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low

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Big Ben Big Ben

Yesterday could arguably be considered the worst day in Pittsburgh Steelers history. First, news came down that one of the members of the storied Steel Curtain, L.C. Greenwood, had passed away at 67. Shortly thereafter, the Black and Gold blew a golden opportunity to send the game to overtime, falling to the Minnesota Vikings 34-27. The Steelers are now 0-4 for the first time in 45 years, the year before Mr. Greenwood was drafted by a rookie head coach named Chuck Noll.

Mike Tomlin is no Chuck Noll.

In fact, the only way he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the Emperor is to point out it’s become apparent our current Emperor has no clothes. No answers, either, for a season that has tragically spiraled out of control. Every week brings some fresh hell to Steeler Nation. It’s amazing how this team constantly finds new ways to lose. Read More »Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low