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Week 10 Recap: Yay For Rookies!

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In a game overshadowed by a report Ben Roethlisberger will ask for a trade this off-season (more about that in a separate post that’ll be up in about an hour), the Pittsburgh Steelers won their third game of the season by defeating the Buffalo Bills 23-10. Trade rumors weren’t the only thing swirling as a cold and blustery day in the ‘Burgh convinced close to 10,000 fans to skip the trek to Heinz Field and stay in their nice wind-free home. They didn’t miss much as the game itself was a dull affair between two of the NFL’s bottom-feeders. Welcome to the Mike Tomlin Era.Read More »Week 10 Recap: Yay For Rookies!

Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

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I knew it was going to be bad. I never thought it was going to be this bad.

This is quickly turning into a historic season for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Historic in all the wrong ways. The Black and Gold came within 23 minutes of setting an NFL record for longest time taken to force a single turnover. Their 0-4 start was their worst in 45 years. And yesterday, their defense gave up the most points in team history.

I repeat, no Steeler team in the franchise’s storied 80 year history has ever surrendered as many points as they did yesterday in their 55-31 loss to the New England Patriots.Read More »Week 9 Recap: How Low Can Steelers Go?

Week Eight Recap: Worst. Game. Ever.

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Well, that sucked…

The Pittsburgh Steelers promptly took any optimism gleaned from their modest two game winning streak rolled it into a tiny little ball and tossed it in the trash with a 21-18 loss to the Oakland Raiders. Yesterday’s sloppy mistake-filled game set football back twenty years. There were nine penalties, five turnovers, two missed field goals, numerous dropped passes, and a blocked punt. Oh and let’s not forget four different left guards.Read More »Week Eight Recap: Worst. Game. Ever.

Week 7 Recap: Baby Steps

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I’m not sure we can say the Pittsburgh Steelers are all the way back. But they’re  getting there. Yesterday afternoon, the Steelers took a giant step toward digging out of the 0-4 hole that began their season by pulling off a last second victory over the Baltimore Ravens 19-16.

Last week, the Steelers finally broke out of the turnover slump by picking off Geno Smith twice. This week, they finally found a running game. Rookie Le’Veon Bell just missed his first career 100 yard game (93 yards) as five guys combined to pile up 141 yards of rushing offense. Bell averaged 4.9 yards a rush which was particularly impressive when you consider his longest gainer was only 11 yards.

Speaking of impressive, the running game got on track despite the offensive line suffering yet another setback. Marcus Gilbert was injured early on leading to Guy Whimper taking his place at right tackle. Whimper had been used exclusively at guard since coming here but is a tackle by trade so that’s not a huge shock – that they’d rather insert Whimper into a game than Mike Adams is. Adams did see some action when LT Kelvin Beachum was briefly shaken up but it appears he’s buried deep inside Mike Tomlin‘s non-existent doghouse.Read More »Week 7 Recap: Baby Steps

Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

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Some people think the Pittsburgh Steelers 0-4 start was the product of a poorly constructed roster, some lousy coaching, and injuries to key personnel. They would be wrong. The Steelers simply decided to postpone winning until after the Pirates season was over. They were polite enough to give them spotlight.

Good manners are the Steeler Way.

With the Bucs done for the year, the Black and Gold wasted no time getting off the schneid by defeating the New York Jets 19-6. The highlight of this game was Bill Cowher, the greatest coach in Steeler history, in the booth calling the game with the normally unlistenable duo of Nantz and Simms. Not only did CBS make sure to work in a plug for Cowher’s mid-life crisis, er, leather-clad rocker babe, the Chin’s near orgasmic joy with every field goal attempt made an otherwise dull game seem exciting. Read More »Week 6 Recap: Our Long (Steeler) National Nightmare Is Over

Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low

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Yesterday could arguably be considered the worst day in Pittsburgh Steelers history. First, news came down that one of the members of the storied Steel Curtain, L.C. Greenwood, had passed away at 67. Shortly thereafter, the Black and Gold blew a golden opportunity to send the game to overtime, falling to the Minnesota Vikings 34-27. The Steelers are now 0-4 for the first time in 45 years, the year before Mr. Greenwood was drafted by a rookie head coach named Chuck Noll.

Mike Tomlin is no Chuck Noll.

In fact, the only way he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the Emperor is to point out it’s become apparent our current Emperor has no clothes. No answers, either, for a season that has tragically spiraled out of control. Every week brings some fresh hell to Steeler Nation. It’s amazing how this team constantly finds new ways to lose. Read More »Week 4 Recap: Steelers Sink To 45 Year Low

Week 3 Recap: Still Winless In 2013

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During the preseason they just didn’t care. Nothing went right in week one. Last Monday, a laughable running game combined with a porous offensive line to spell doom. So whose turn would it be to crap the bed this week?

Ben Roethlisberger, come on down!

The Pittsburgh Steelers remained winless in 2013 – counting preseason – falling to the Chicago Bears 40-23 on Sunday Night Football. On the positive side, the offense finally showed some signs of life. As expected, the return of Heath Miller opened things up in both the running and passing games. Unfortunately, the Black and Gold found yet another way to lose as they’ve become seemingly allergic to success.

When did we become the Cleveland Browns?Read More »Week 3 Recap: Still Winless In 2013

Week 2 Recap: Bungling Their Way To Victory

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“There’s a certain amount of misery with the position that we’re in. We’ll wear it. We don’t like it. We’ll wear it.” – Mike Tomlin

If the Pittsburgh Steelers 20-10 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals was an article of clothing, it’d be a pair of bowling shoes. Stinky ugly bowling shoes. Coach T was gracious about crediting Cincy for playing well during his post-game cliche-fest. All I’ll say is that if the Bengals are the class of the AFC North, then our division has quickly become the Big East of the NFL.

In my game preview, I mentioned this being the year quarterback Andy Dalton needed to take his game to the next level. The Ginger Rifle responded by playing a hideous game. Overthrows, underthrows, missing wide open receivers, Dalton did his best to keep the Steelers in the game. Unfortunately, the Black and Gold were in an even more charitable mood.Read More »Week 2 Recap: Bungling Their Way To Victory

Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets

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The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered several injuries in their 16-9 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Zoltan Mesko is not listed among the casualties. I’m sure he spent the better part of the evening icing down his foot, though. Poor Zoltan did more punting yesterday than he did all last season for the New England Patriots.

I can safely say the Black and Gold put on the worst display of offensive football I’ve seen in my thirty odd years of yinzer-hood. Worse than when they had a guy named Walter Abercrombie lining up in the backfield. Worse than when they were being quarterbacked by Bubby Brister. Worse than the glory days of Mark Malone.

Words cannot describe how inept the Steelers appeared on offense. When Ben Roethlisberger hit Jerricho Cotchery for the team’s lone touchdown with a minute and a half left in the game, I actually saw people on Twitter posting “Nice of the offense to finally show up.” That’s insane. The offense never showed up yesterday. NEVER.Read More »Week One Recap: As Bad As It Gets