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Wild Card Recap: Hail Tebow

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The Pittsburgh Steelers suffered one of their most heartbreaking losses in recent memory yesterday, losing 29-23 to the Denver Broncos. Tim Tebow was absolutely masterful, throwing for a career best 316 yards and basically humiliating the NFL’s top ranked defense by making them look like a bunch of amateurs. Any doubts about Tebow’s ability to play quarterback should finally be put to rest. He repeatedly burned the Steelers secondary on big pass plays while showing the strength and maneuverability in the pocket of a young Ben Roethlisberger.

Meanwhile, the actual Big Ben put forth a valiant effort, particularly in the fourth quarter, but was a shell of himself for most of the game. Much like last week against Cleveland, Ben struggled in the early going, making terrible throws and displaying absolutely no mobility thanks to his sprained ankle. He rallied a bit in the second half, leading the team on two long scoring drives to force overtime, although once again it was a story of too many missed opportunities.

Not that Ben got much help from his teammates. As I predicted, the offensive line had all kinds of trouble keeping him upright. Ben was sacked five times with Robert Ayers, who at one point threw Max Starks five yards backward like a crash test dummy, notching two sacks to lead the team. Tomlin eventually saw enough and brought in Jonathan Scott to relieve Mad Max but there was more than enough blame to go around. Elvis Dumervil and Von Miller picked on Marcus Gilbert all day while Doug Legursky‘s errant snap cost the Steelers a shot at a field goal to close out the first half. They did a good job run blocking, with Isaac Redman running for 121 tough yards on 17 carries (Rashard Who?), which is about the only nice thing I can say about their performance.
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Week 17 Recap: Best Laid Plans

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Well, that didn’t go according to plan.

On paper, this had the potential to be one of the craziest final weekends in NFL history. No fewer than a half dozen teams had a realistic shot at a playoff berth. All they had to do was win and hope things fell their way. Naturally, almost every single one of those teams lost.

The Pittsburgh Steelers were one of the few that took care of business. Playing their starters the entire game, they battled the Cleveland Browns to a hard fought 13-9 victory. Unfortunately, the gambit didn’t pay off when the Cincinnati Bengals didn’t hold up their end of the bargain, losing to the Baltimore Ravens 24-16. THE RATBIRDS ONLY HAVE ONE GOOD OFFENSIVE PLAYER AND YOU LET HIM RUN FOR 200 YARDS?!?! Thanks to the Jets, Broncos and Raiders also losing, the Bungles were still rewarded for their incompetence by backdooring into the final Wild Card spot.

If the Steelers fail to make noise in this year’s playoffs, this game is going to be the lightning rod for Steeler Nation’s displeasure. By playing his starters the entire game, Mike Tomlin deprived several injured stars, particularly Ben Roethlisberger, of much needed rest. In addition, the team suffered several fresh injuries, most notably to running back Rashard Mendenhall. The preliminary diagnoses is a torn ACL, which would not only end his season but is usually a career-altering injury for a running back. Regardless, Mendy isn’t going to be playing next week.
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Week 16 Recap: Merry Christmas, Charlie Batch!

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I hope everybody had a great Christmas.

The Pittsburgh Steelers surely did. First, the Black and Gold shut out the hapless St. Louis Rams 27-0. About a half an hour later, the New York Giants put the finishing touches on a crucial late-season victory over inter-city rival New York Jets. As satisfying as it is to watch that arrogant blowhard Rex Ryan stick his wife’s foot in his mouth, the G-Men did the Steelers a huge favor. With the Jets’ loss, the Cincinnati Bengals now control their own destiny. Win next week and they’re in the playoffs for only the third time in twenty-five years. And who might they be playing in the season finale?

The Baltimore Ravens.

Of course, everything would be moot if not for a fantastic workman-like effort by the Steelers. Granted the Rams were starting their third string quarterback and are utterly terrible on both sides of the ball but if we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s to never take any opponent lightly. The Steelers, playing with their own back-up quarterback protected by an offensive line in a total shambles, finally mounted a rushing attack that has been absent all year. Rashard Mendenhall had his best game in almost two seasons, piling up 116 yards on 18 carries. The Steelers’ running game was so effective, they dressed three running backs and all three scored a touchdown. Redzone Redman continued his fine season while rookie John Clay, activated from the practice squad due to injuries to Mewelde Moore and Jon Dwyer, gave us a glimpse of what we saw in the preseason, busting a beautiful 10 yard TD run on the first and only carry of his career.
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Week 15 Recap: Not The Steelers Night

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You knew it wasn’t going to be the Pittsburgh Steelers night last night. When the Four Letter came back from commercial to reveal the San Francisco 49ers dilapidated old stadium was bathed in darkness, you knew it wouldn’t be our night. Chris Berman and his gaggle of idiots showing their calm level-headed journalistic skills by repeatedly comparing a blown fuse to both a catastrophic earthquake and 9/11 was almost as torturous as the 20-3 ass-kicking the Niners meted out to the Steelers. Ryan Clark later told the media he felt the blackout was orchestrated by Niners management to illustrate their need for a new stadium.

And people think Steeler fans are paranoid…

Anyway, you knew it wouldn’t be the Steelers night when they took the opening kickoff, drove right down the field, then had the drive end on a Ben Roethlisberger interception. Ben would be intercepted on the Steelers’ next drive, too. He’d add another later in the game and throw in a lost fumble for good measure. I’m not going to criticize Big Ben for playing an absolutely atrocious game (“I was the 49ers best player,” he’d later say) because 29 other quarterbacks wouldn’t have even bothered suiting up last night. He tried to tough it out when it was clear he had absolutely nothing in the tank. It doesn’t take a videotape nerd like Ron Jaworski to see Ben wasn’t stepping into throws leading to the ball sailing all over the place.
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Week 14 Recap: Big Ben > Chuck Norris

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There’s an old joke about being as useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Perhaps that saying needs to be updated in light of last night’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cleveland Browns. Yesterday, the Browns got their asses kicked by a quarterback playing on one leg.

The Steelers 14-3 victory may not sound particularly exciting but, at the risk of hyperbole, it’ll be a game forever remembered in Pittsburgh lore. And that’s entirely due to the almost superhuman courage displayed by Ben Roethlisberger. When Ben had his ankle rolled up from behind mid-way through the second quarter, a hush fell over the Heinz Field. After hobbling off the field, then literally being carted from room to room in the back, it appeared Ben was not only lost for this game, but perhaps the rest of the regular season.

As halftime came to a close, however, there was Big Ben, still in full uniform rather than crutches or sweatpants, taking snaps like he intended to return. And return he did, despite playing with a horrific limp and making a majority of his throws flat-footed. It was an epic display of toughness by a player whose career is marked by them. Partially due to his off-field situations and partially due to his style of play, Ben has always been an underrated and slightly polarizing figure among NFL fans in general and Steeler Nation in particular. If last night didn’t finally establish once and for all that Ben is one of the toughest and most courageous players to ever lace up the cleats, I can’t help you.
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Week 13 Recap: Once A Bungle, Always A Bungle

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Early in the fourth quarter of yesterday’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Cincinnati Bengals, CBS came back from a break with the sound of “Renegade” clearly audible in the background. I love the Steelers unofficial fight song but pulling out the rally hair metal when the Black and Gold are putting the finishing touches on 35-7 ass-whuppin’ is a bit unnecessary. Like when dickish college coaches dial up a 45 yard bomb already up four touchdowns on a Division I-AA opponent. Or when an NFL team gives their asshat head coach a Gatorade bath for winning a regular season game.

To paraphrase the late great Myron Cope, “Renegade,” like the power of the Terrible Towel, should be saved for when we really need it.

I won’t lie, I thought we were in for a loooong afternoon after the Steelers began yesterday’s game with a three and out in which Mike Wallace dropped a 20 yard pass that hit him in the hands. Andy Dalton responded by hooking up with AJ Green for 43 yards a few plays later. Normally dependable Ike Taylor had a rough time keeping up with Green all afternoon, although did have his second pick of the season later on. The Bengals had a first and goal at the Steelers 8 before you could say, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”

Then the Bungles we all know and love made an appearance.

On third and goal, a touchdown to Jermaine Gresham was wiped out on a false start by Green. Karma, I suppose, for the touchdown the Steelers got taken off the board by a holding penalty in the first game. Cincy lined up for a glorified extra point but were late snapping the ball so Mike Nugent’s field goal didn’t count. On his second attempt, Cameron Heyward blew through the line and Nugent’s kick ricocheted off his big paw. Three golden scoring chances wasted.
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Week 12 Recap: Thanksgiving Hangover

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Ummmm… Did somebody forget to tell the Black and Gold their bye week ended on Sunday?

The Pittsburgh Steelers put on a dull, sloppy, uninspired performance last night in defeating the Kansas City Chiefs 13-9. The teams got into a mini-Battle Royal during pre-game warm-ups and the Chiefs defense brought that fired up attitude into the game. If you’re a fan of offensive football, this was not a game for you as the bumbling Steeler offense couldn’t get on track despite the inept KC offense trying over and over to give them the game. Much like the Colts game earlier this season, the Steelers played down to the level of their opponent long enough that a team they should have blown-out like a birthday candle was in position to drive for the winning score in the final minutes.

The Steelers defense did all they could despite getting hit hard by injuries. LaMarr Woodley missed his third straight game while Troy Polamalu was lost on the first series. Once again, the reason for his absence is being listed as “concussion-like symptoms” which is Steeler-speak for “He probably has a concussion but we don’t want to make him go through all those baseline tests to get him back on the field.” Even without two of their top defensive players, the defense put on one of their better efforts of the year, holding the Chiefs to 250 yards of total offense and forcing four turnovers. Three of those came on interceptions, including one by noted stonehands Ike Taylor.

Considering the “pass” he intercepted more closely resembled a punt, I would expect Face Me Ike’s next one to occur sometime around 2013.
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