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Mike Tomlin

Know Thy Enemy: St. Louis Rams

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If those guys came to my front door Christmas caroling, I’m not sure if I’d offer them egg nog or hand over my watch. What the hell? Anyway, the Pittsburgh Steelers released their annual video of players singing Christmas Carols and, as usual, they are absolutely must-see. There are four separate clips, each introduced by Mike Tomlin looking the most uncool he’s ever looked in his life. Each position grouping is charged with singing a different holiday classic and I guess the linebackers pictured above decided “Frosty The Snowman” needed more street cred. From left to right, the Gangsta Choir is composed of Chris Carter, James Harrison, Lawrence Timmons, James Farrior, Stevenson Sylvester, Morty Ivy and Larry Foote.

The best part is linebackers coach (and defensive coordinator in waiting) Keith Butler standing in the back looking like a festive Paul Ellering. If you get that reference, plus thirty cool points for you.

Before I get to Knowing this week’s opponent, the St. Louis Rams, a bit of blog housekeeping to clear up. For those out of the loop, the Ginger Dictator Grinch‘s heart must’ve grown three sizes one day because he has decreed this weekend’s games will be played on Saturday so the players can have Christmas off. As I’m off to sunny Tampa to spend the holidays with my folks as soon as I press “Post,” I won’t have the game recap up until Monday. I’m sure most of you have better things to do on Sunday than check in here, anyway. If you’re really desperate to hear my groan-worthy one-liners, you can always follow me on Twitter as I usually tweet during games. I will try to keep the blog up to date with pertinent news next week but my posting schedule may be a bit spotty so please bear with me.
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Which Harbaugh Brother Is A Bigger Dick?

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As we await word whether the NFL Appeals Committee will do the right thing by lifting the suspension of Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison, let us turn our attention to other concerns. Namely, this week’s big game against the NFC West Champion San Francisco 49ers. When the ball is kicked off on Monday night, it will be the second time this year the Black and Gold have faced a member of the Harbaugh family. John, as we well know, is coach of the hated Baltimore Ravens. His brother, Jim, is the mastermind behind the Niners’ unexpected resurgence.

The Brothers Harbaugh have one thing in common: They’re both colossal dicks.

For weeks now, some of you may have noticed sarcastic references to “Gatorade showers” in my posts. For those not in on the joke, what I’m referring to is the Ratbirds dousing their coach with the foul-tasting sports drink after they swept the season series with the Steelers. I’ve watched football a long time and I’d be hard pressed to recall a more ridiculous post-game display. Teams that clinch their first playoff berth in decades shower their coach with Gatorade. Teams that just won the Lombardi Trophy shower their coach with Gatorade. Accomplishing the pedestrian feat of beating your division rival a whopping twice in a row does not merit such a spectacle.
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Know Thy Enemy: Cleveland Browns

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What? Know Thy Enemy on a Wednesday? This can mean only one thing: Thursday Night Football! And if you thought ESPN picked a lousy slate of games, man, you ain’t got nothin’ on the NFL Network.

It seems like every year, the AFC North is a three horse race. The Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens are the two thoroughbreds in the hunt pretty much every season. The third horseman alternates between the Bengals and the Cleveland Browns. When one is up, the other is usually down.

During the 2009 Super Bowl Hangover year, Cincinnati took advantage of the opening by winning the division before flaming out spectacularly in their lone playoff game. Last year, the Bungles were a mess, hijacked by the clown show being put on by Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco. It was the Browns turn to look like a legitimate NFL franchise. Even though they didn’t win many games (5), rookie quarterback Colt McCoy led the team during a surprisingly competitive stretch which had people believing in a bright future for Cleveland.

Oh, those silly silly people…

The Browns are back in their customary position of irritating little bugs while the Steelers are the windshield headed right toward them tomorrow night.
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Steelers Don’t Want To Save Troy Polamalu’s Brain

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And people call it Pittsburgh Paranoia…

I usually turn off whatever horrible commentary team the networks have saddled us with and watch the game alongside the Pittsburgh Steelers radio crew of Bill Hillgrove, Tunch Ilkin and Craig Wolfley. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed getting back to the ‘Burgh so I was forced to listen to well-known Steeler-haters Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels on Sunday. After the NFL’s answer to JLO, Michele Tafoya, gave an update on the condition of Troy Polamalu, Michaels threw a shot at the Steelers by sarcastically comparing their disclosure of information relating to injuries to the approach taken by the commies in “old East Germany.”

Now another noted Steeler-hater, Mike Florio at Profootballtalk, is jumping on the pile. Yesterday, he wrote a scathing piece in which he all but accused the Steelers of going all SuckerPunch on Troy and turning a blind eye as he becomes a vegetable. As usual with Florio, he doesn’t let little things like facts or common sense stand in the way of his Pittsburgh-bashing. In the very same article, he praises the Jets for their handling of Dustin Keller’s recent concussion.
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Giving Thanks To The Black And Gold

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The good news is my computer finally seems to be up and running so I shouldn’t be MIA again this season. The bad news (well, it’s good for me) is I booked a last minute flight to Tampa so I could spend Turkey Day with my parents. Oh, I could stay here in Pittsburgh but between me and the couple thousand of you who read this blog faithfully every day, my aunt is a really lousy cook. A few Thanksgivings ago, she actually cooked the turkey with the giblets still inside.

Anyway, since I have to pack quickly so I can hurry up and wait (and wait and wait) in what promises to be an epic line at the airport, today’s update will have to be a quickie. Without further ado, here are ten Pittsburgh Steelers related-reasons I’m thankful this Thanksgiving.
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Sidney Crosby Is Back (And So Am I)

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Last night, Sidney Crosby returned to the Pittsburgh Penguins after suffering a concussion nearly a year ago. Today, I return to the blogosphere. What a great day for Pittsburgh sports fans!

Seriously, though, while football is my first love, hockey is a close second. I was born the same year the Pittsburgh Steelers won their first Super Bowl so I’m not really old enough to remember the Steel Dynasty. The first championship I actually experienced as a fan was the Penguins’ 1991 Stanley Cup. And to Tina DiCapula’s ever-lasting chagrin, you never forget your first time.

For those ex-‘Burghers out there, the atmosphere around town was absolutely electric once word got out that Sid was returning. We take our sports very seriously here and there has been no subject of greater importance or which inspired more angst than the condition of Sid’s noggin’. Once the game got underway, Sid rose to the occasion by scoring on his first shot roughly two minutes in. The crowd went absolutely insane and all was right with the world.
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Why Is Shaun Suisham Still In Pittsburgh?

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Sometimes it’s hard to be a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed to follow the greatest franchise in NFL history. I realize how lucky we are to watch a Super Bowl contender seemingly year in and year out. I do not for one second take our six Lombardi Trophies for granted. Even after the most heart-breaking of losses, I never for a moment question my allegiance.

There are still times when the Steeler Way can be immensely frustrating. While it works eight times out of ten, the two times it fails, it fails spectacularly. We all play armchair GM from time to time but I wouldn’t pretend I could do a better job than Kevin Colbert. At the same time, many of his player personnel decisions continue to puzzle me.

The last two and half minutes of the Steelers-Ravens game were an absolute mess. People rightly focus on the D’s epic bed-crapping in letting Joe F’N Flacco drive 92 yards on them for the game winning touchdown. Others focus on Ryan Clark and Will.i.am Gay, both of whom played miserably all night long. However, lost in the wash, was the comical Chinese Fire Drill on the Steelers final possession where they got the ball down to the Baltimore 30, called a time out to discuss their options, sent their field goal unit out but fooled around too long and got called for a delay of game which left them with no choice but to punt.
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Will Mike Tomlin Bring Tampa To Pittsburgh?

No, I’m not talking about an apathetic fan base and a sea of empty seats at every home game. The Pitt Panthers already have that covered.

Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin first rose to prominence as a defensive backs coach under Tony Dungy down in Tampa. Dungy’s defense of choice was a modified version of the 4-3 scheme he learned as a player (and later coach) under Chuck Noll. Despite Tomlin’s preference for running the Tampa-2, one of the conditions upon his hiring was he retain Dick LeBeau, inventor and master of the 3-4 zone blitz. Considering the Steelers have ranked at or near the top of the NFL in total defense every year since he arrived in Pittsburgh, I’m sure Tomlin has had no complaints about the change.

Besides LeBeau being one of the finest defensive minds of all-time, management didn’t want to change philosophies because they simply didn’t have the right personnel. Whenever a team switches from 3-4 to 4-3 (or vice versa) there is an adjustment period because what is expected from each player changes. Some of you may remember a couple years back when fatass Albert Haynesworth pitched a fit because Washington switched from a 4-3 (where he could collect a bunch of stats, and the bonuses that went with them, by rushing the quarterback) to a 3-4 (where, like our linemen, his primary job was to occupy blockers and create gaps for others to make plays). If you ever wondered why the Steelers love stocking up on linebackers in the draft, it’s because our scheme depends on having plenty of strong, athletic linebackers on the roster.

Unfortunately, we currently have a bunch of strong, athletic linebackers on the injury report.
Read More »Will Mike Tomlin Bring Tampa To Pittsburgh?