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Troy Polamalu

Steelers Defense Not Immune To Youth Movement

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I’ve written a lot this season about the decline of Pittsburgh Steelers all-time great Hines Ward. It was never my intent to turn this into a Hines Hater blog but the combination of his being one of the faces of the current era of Black and Gold greatness and the fact the national media was totally out of the loop in regards to his rapidly diminishing importance, I felt like I had to keep harping on it. Also, despite Hines’ insistence that the feels he’s “owed nothing” by the team, I have a feeling the eventual break-up is going to be a painful one. And Steeler Nation should be prepared for an ugly fall-out.

While I’ve been focusing on Hines, however, I’ve neglected the other side of the ball.

A couple things happened during Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs which really hit home to me that Hines may not be the only Steeler mainstay facing his last stand. First, the Chiefs offense had a fleeting moment of competence in the second quarter when Tyler Palko stared down a blitzing linebacker and converted a big third down. “Stared down” is a bit of an overstatement as James Farrior was sent up the middle on a fire blitz and while nothing but the faint scent of failure stood between him and Palko, the ball was delivered before James had crossed the line of scrimmage. Then, late in the game, with the Chiefs moving the ball on an exhausted Steeler defense, the cameras repeatedly cut to a shot of Casey Hampton sucking wind on the sideline.
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Steelers Don’t Want To Save Troy Polamalu’s Brain

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And people call it Pittsburgh Paranoia…

I usually turn off whatever horrible commentary team the networks have saddled us with and watch the game alongside the Pittsburgh Steelers radio crew of Bill Hillgrove, Tunch Ilkin and Craig Wolfley. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed getting back to the ‘Burgh so I was forced to listen to well-known Steeler-haters Cris Collinsworth and Al Michaels on Sunday. After the NFL’s answer to JLO, Michele Tafoya, gave an update on the condition of Troy Polamalu, Michaels threw a shot at the Steelers by sarcastically comparing their disclosure of information relating to injuries to the approach taken by the commies in “old East Germany.”

Now another noted Steeler-hater, Mike Florio at Profootballtalk, is jumping on the pile. Yesterday, he wrote a scathing piece in which he all but accused the Steelers of going all SuckerPunch on Troy and turning a blind eye as he becomes a vegetable. As usual with Florio, he doesn’t let little things like facts or common sense stand in the way of his Pittsburgh-bashing. In the very same article, he praises the Jets for their handling of Dustin Keller’s recent concussion.
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Week 12 Recap: Thanksgiving Hangover

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Ummmm… Did somebody forget to tell the Black and Gold their bye week ended on Sunday?

The Pittsburgh Steelers put on a dull, sloppy, uninspired performance last night in defeating the Kansas City Chiefs 13-9. The teams got into a mini-Battle Royal during pre-game warm-ups and the Chiefs defense brought that fired up attitude into the game. If you’re a fan of offensive football, this was not a game for you as the bumbling Steeler offense couldn’t get on track despite the inept KC offense trying over and over to give them the game. Much like the Colts game earlier this season, the Steelers played down to the level of their opponent long enough that a team they should have blown-out like a birthday candle was in position to drive for the winning score in the final minutes.

The Steelers defense did all they could despite getting hit hard by injuries. LaMarr Woodley missed his third straight game while Troy Polamalu was lost on the first series. Once again, the reason for his absence is being listed as “concussion-like symptoms” which is Steeler-speak for “He probably has a concussion but we don’t want to make him go through all those baseline tests to get him back on the field.” Even without two of their top defensive players, the defense put on one of their better efforts of the year, holding the Chiefs to 250 yards of total offense and forcing four turnovers. Three of those came on interceptions, including one by noted stonehands Ike Taylor.

Considering the “pass” he intercepted more closely resembled a punt, I would expect Face Me Ike’s next one to occur sometime around 2013.
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Troy Polamalu Tells Wife: “No Twitter For You!”

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Free Theodora!

Total Steelers is on Twitter (and if you’re not following me you’re hurting my feelings). I don’t spend all day on it but I do occasionally drop in to make fun of things like the Baltimore Ravens epic fail in Jacksonville. Mostly, I use it to check up on the handful of Pittsburgh Steelers who tweet. Yes, even that annoying blowhard Ryan Clark.

I’ve found most twitter feeds to be spectacularly boring. Many are clearly run by PR people who are using them to promote whatever perfume or charitable cause the celebrity is involved with that week. Those that are run by the actual person tend to be filled with mindless chitchat and re-tweets from starstruck fans. Very few athletes put Twitter to good use, such as using it to hook up with a smokin’ hot (and extremely flexible) porn star.

As I was mocking the Ratbirds in 140 characters or less, I noticed an interesting name in my “Who To Follow” box. Theodora V. Polamalu. Theodora, you may deduce from the last name, is the wife of All-Pro safety Troy Polamalu. I quickly went over to check her feed.

Other than the first tweet being of the PR variety, the rest of her posts were clearly coming directly from her. And what tweets they were. It wasn’t the usual soundbites and politely phrased BS we’ve come to expect. These were opinionated and insightful messages. And many of them were about the Steelers!
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Roger Goodell Doesn’t Care About Family

Congratulations go out to Commissioner Roger Goodell. His goal has finally been achieved. He has successfully pussified the National Football League.

I tuned in to the Four Letter hoping to hear Trent Dilfer announce he was coming out of retirement to play for the Baltimore Ravens. He certainly couldn’t do any worse than last night’s performance by Joe Flacco. But rather than glorious analysis highlighting every one of the Ratbirds many flaws, I instead had to listen to the talking heads go on and on about the catfight between the Detroit Lions’ Ndamukong Suh and several members of the Atlanta Falcons. For those lucky smart enough to avoid the mind-numbing prattle, the story goes after quarterback Matt Ryan was hurt on a play late in Sunday’s game, Suh and teammate Cliff Avril stood there taunting him about the injury.

OH NOES! THE HORROR!
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Ryan Clark Still An Idiot

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I’m a proud member of Steeler Nation. The fact I’ve been writing about them for five years across two different blogs speaks to my devotion. Blogging about your favorite team does present an interesting conundrum, however. While I love the [intlink id=”166″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink], there are players on the team I absolutely can’t stand.

Safety [intlink id=”60″ type=”category”]Ryan Clark[/intlink] has quickly reached the top of that list.

For those living outside the Pittsburgh area, you cannot fathom how thoroughly the team dominates this town. One of the reasons I wanted a blog in the first place was the unabashed homerism the local media lavishes upon the team can frequently be nauseating. For those of you who follow sports in general, you’ve probably heard the big controversy in Boston where the local media has eviscerated the team for drinking beer and eating Popeye’s chicken in the clubhouse while in the midst of a historic collapse. I can’t imagine a story of that kind ever being published here in the ‘Burgh. Even when the Steelers where in the midst of a horrific five game losing streak back in 2009, the most stinging criticism you heard from the local media was they were suffering from “a Super Bowl hangover.”
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Week 6 Recap: Yo Gobble Gabbert

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Sometimes you drink the wine and sometimes you stomp the grapes. This week, the [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] put on a performance more reminiscent of prune juice. It started off nice and smooth but about an hour and a half later you were left with a queasy feeling that had you praying to the porcelain god that the whole ordeal would soon be over.

The scoreboard says the Black and Gold defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars 17-13. The Pessimistic Inner Yinzer says, “Hey yous guys, we was lucky to walk away with a W. Against a halfway decent team, we wouldn’t be so lucky n’at.” Bill Cowher was fond of saying you are what your record says you are while [intlink id=”86″ type=”category”]Mike Tomlin [/intlink]likes to say there are no awards for style points. Well, the win-loss column may say the Steelers are 4-2 but the style of play tells me this is not a 4-2 caliber team.

Picking up from last week’s thumping of the Tennessee Titans, the Steelers dominated on both sides of the ball for the first thirty minutes. The offense racked up 315 yards of total offense while the defense held Jacksonville under 90. [intlink id=”88″ type=”category”]Rashard Mendenhall[/intlink] ran like a spy drone was hot on his tail, ripping off a 68 yarder in route to a 113 yard first half performance. [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink] completed 11 passes for 181 yards, highlighted by a 28 yard touchdown to [intlink id=”82″ type=”category”]Mike Wallace[/intlink]. His opposite number, Jacksonville rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert, couldn’t get anything going. He was under constant siege from a ferocious Blitzburgh defense, particularly [intlink id=”70″ type=”category”]LaMarr Woodley[/intlink] and  Brett Keisel, who would finish with two sacks apiece.
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Week 4 Recap: Down And Out In Houston

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The [intlink id=”21″ type=”category”]Pittsburgh Steelers[/intlink] ain’t drinkin’ wine.  They’re still stompin’ grapes.

The Black and Gold shook off a first half grape-stomping by the Houston Texans to make it a game before ultimately falling short 17-10. I feel like a broken record saying this but the final score does not accurately reflect what happened in the game. The Texans had not one but two touchdowns wiped off the scoreboard because of boneheaded penalties. Shaun Suisham’s Miss of the Week was of the blocked variety but Daniael Manning blocked Dan Sepulveda in the back nullifying the TD. Well, despite Dierdorf’s asinine hollering, the Dreamy One did play linebacker at Baylor. Late in the fourth, a pick six was wiped out for roughing [intlink id=”14″ type=”category”]Ben Roethlisberger[/intlink].

If not for the Texans self-inflicted wounds and a gallant defensive effort in the second half, this would have been one of the most one-sided ass-whuppins’ in recent memory. I’ve seldom seen the Steelers dominated in all three phases of the game like they were yesterday. Arian Foster had 90 rushing yards in the first quarter. The Texans began the game by driving 114 yards for a touchdown. ONE HUNDRED FOURTEEN YARDS. How is this possible? Houston started at their own 5 and took two 10 yard holding penalties along the way.
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Brad Pitt Doesn’t Like Steelers’ Chances

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I saw Brad Pitt’s new movie Moneyball this past weekend. What else was I gonna see? Taylor Lautner running for his life through PNC Park? Not only does werewolf boy have the acting chops of Oscar the Grouch, that’s the worst strategy ever. When you’re fleeing from hitmen, you should stick to populated areas.

It was an okay flick. Certainly better than it had any right to be given the source material. I absolutely loathed the book and the cult of statheads it inspired. What kills me is the vast majority of the people who parrot these made up statistics probably never advanced beyond basic calculus. When I took a high level statistics course at Carnegie Mellon, my professor introduced himself on the very first day by saying, “I’m going to be honest with you. Statistics can be manipulated to prove anything.”

Sadly, the stathead parrots lack the education necessary to grasp this simple fact. Instead they quote WAR or EqA or BABIP like they’re actual meaningful numbers without any context or understanding of the completely arbitrary way at which they’re arrived. It’s one of the reasons I can’t stand reading most online baseball blogs. Instead of talking about what we can see with our own eyes, they spill pages and pages of digital ink repeating made up statistics which provide no actual insight.
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